Jump to content

Are you happy in France?


Later
 Share

Recommended Posts

Hi John,

My impression is that you are the type of person who requires significant and widespread reassurance before you arrive at what will be a significant life changing decision.  I can identify with this and see no problem whatsoever in your approach, be it ‘devil’s advocate’ or even inviting negative responses.  It is necessary to root around until you are satisfied that you have sufficient and appropriate information in order for you to arrive at your decision.

Although you can holiday in France as we have done for over 20+ years you do not really get to know the people until you live amongst them.

There are things I like about France and the French, but the dislike list is quite extensive.

I could, however, say similar things about my own neck of the woods.

Deciding to become a resident is a balance of ‘push/pull’ factors.

If I attempt to crystallise what I like it comes down to the climate, with a caveat that you have to locate right down in the south if you like extensive sunshine and warmth, the opportunity for living and eating outdoors, the varied scenery, excellent road infrastructure (that comes with a cost), proximity to other European countries (depending on where you locate), choice and general speediness in health care (but some of the infrastructure can be quite dated and dull).  The health care can also come at a direct cost.  Nice old world civility (but I sometimes suspect the bonjours are equivalent to the American “have a nice day”.  Minor things like cheaper prescriptions, diesel, wine, cheese, mustard, tv licence, no road tax.

Things I don’t like (not in any order): although there are pearls to be found, I find the French to be generally dour and not as friendly as the Brits.  They tend to be more xenophobic to the point of even disliking their fellow French from adjacent regions.

Service can be poor, abrupt and discourteous from civil servants, shop assistants, artisans etc.  It is a treat to return to the UK and generally experience the warmth friendliness and good service across the board.  We may have common origins and be separated by a short stretch of water, but there are significant differences.

Despite successive wars and occupations they have more of an affinity with the Germans than they do with the Brits.

I particularly dislike their discourteous and dangerous driving, the widespread dog merde and stench of urine that spoils the cities and scenic walks, the disregard of anti smoking laws, the riding of motorbikes on the pavement, males urinating in public places and in broad daylight, at will.  I also find that they are totally oblivious to your personal space, there is only their space, so they cut across you and barge you at will.  Their queue jumping is legendary, and the latter points make supermarket shopping even less pleasurable than the UK.

I also feel that apart from gastronomiques, their food and restaurants are overrated.  There is a monotony to the menus.  I also feel that our general restaurants have improved beyond the French.  Our supermarkets have better quality food and veg.  I disagree with those who say that French fruit and veg tastes better.  M&S chilled foods are far superior to anything in France.

I generally feel that in many respects the French have not moved into the 21st century possibly even the 20th  perhaps that is part of the allure.

If you can afford it, I think the best option is to have a home in the UK


    • Replies 99
    • Created
    • Last Reply

    Top Posters In This Topic

    Jon

    Thanks for that, now I'll jump in there before everyone else does ... I enjoyed your read, but I'm not sure you answered the question ... are you happy in France, where would you rather be if you weren't?

    I'm also a bit wary of comparing France to Britain, although it's difficult not to, becuase this then defines the argument and it becomes a shopping list of "France is bad Britain is good" etc - which actually has nothing to do with the question and imo does not really help people prepare themselves for a move to what is a very different country in that it only compares the things you like and dislike about teh respective places.  I now think, you (one) need(s) to step beyond that and assess France in other terms.  Otherwise it might as well be a comparison like "Mars in bad, Britain is good". 

    Link to comment
    Share on other sites

    Question: Are you happy in France?

    Answer: Sometimes.

    I've been here for 13 years. This is the place I live. My hapiness or unhappiness aren't reliant on being in France. I didn't choose to come here for a "better life". I happened to fall in love with someone who was French (and who already had a job here) I didn't move away from the Uk but to France (eyes wide open, I had already lived here for short bursts) I don't live in idyllic rural France but in a town, like the majority of French people.

    The bad days are when I'd love to be able to speak English to somebody who doesn't have to prepare the sentence in their head before saying it, to be able to quote the Goon show and be understood, when I  feel I have to explain and apologise for not being French and not doing things the French way.

    The good days are when the sun is shining and I can go out and run on the hills with my kids.

     

     

     

    Link to comment
    Share on other sites

    Am I happy in France?  Sometimes yes, incredibly so.  Other times I could quite happily jump on the next ferry back to the UK

    When I weigh up the pros and cons though, France for me still comes out tops and I definitely enjoy a much better quality of life here compared to the one I left behind in the UK. I'm a country girl at heart and the relative cheapness of housing in France allows me to live in a very spacious house in a lovely small village surrounded by glorious countryside, something which I couldn't have afforded to do in the UK, unless I wanted to live in a matchbox   I love the space, peace and sense of safety (a false illusion maybe?) I feel here. 

    The downside for me is the sense of social isolation caused by the language barrier and cultural differences.  Although I can now speak French reasonably well, I really do miss being able to have a good ol'natter with someone without having to think so hard.  The French themselves I have found to be very kind, polite and helpful, but I have also found them to be a lot more formal than the British and not so spontaneous and as a result I am finding it very difficult to make French friends here. I do sometimes wonder also if France is the country I'll want to be living in when I'm old

    Whatever happens in the future, whether we decide to stay here or return to the UK, it has been a great adventure and so far the plus's outweigh the minus's

     

    Link to comment
    Share on other sites

    Am I happy in France?

    After three months - yes thank-you.  We had never been to France before apart from a three day trip across the water to Normandy.  We had no fixed ideas about what it would be like nor any 'francophile' dreams based on years of holidays.  We simply wanted somewhere that I could afford with some land for my two horses.  I want to spend a lot more time riding on peaceful lanes in extensive countryside like the Exmoor I'm used to without the awful weather.  I wanted to stop working so hard (we had a Pub and B & B for sixteen years) and I wanted to do something 'different' as the last of our three children was leaving home.  I also wanted to learn another language - and had done for some time - and there's no way anyone can really do that without living it.  I wasn't escaping from England - we had lived in a glorious part of North Devon - probably more beautiful even than the fabulous Gers countryside that we now live in.  I simply wanted a change and the neighbours, local bureaucrats, shopkeepers and ex-pats that we have met in this short time have reinforced my belief that we are all - French  (sorry - french) or English, just people getting on with our lives and trying not to upset anyone and being polite in a way that we hope people will be polite back.  Can't say fairer than that can you?

    In answer to the second part of your question - there are no obstacles in our way but I would not go back.  Why?  Because I love this warm weather and anyway, I've 'done' England. There's a whole world out there, and at the age of 51 still time and energy to explore it.

    Fran

    Link to comment
    Share on other sites

    [quote]Hi John, My impression is that you are the type of person who requires significant and widespread reassurance b[/quote]

    Jon,

    That is quite bizarre, many of the reasons you write quite clearly about, is without doubt almost exactly how I feel about living here.

    In answer to the other John, yes of course I enjoy living here but I am not "in love" with France. I am in love with people, my close friends and family are my love, countries I can adore, enjoy, just take them for what they are or dislike them. France comes somewhere in the first 3 choices.

    The longer one lives here, the more one sees the weaknesses that makes France not quite the adorable country it would be easy to say it is. This forum, being called "Living France" would perhaps mean a "love" for France should be the common denominator.

    To a point that is true but I see absolutely nothing at all wrong with people who have lived here a while and even others not so long in residency, who have latched on pretty smart to seeing France in a "truer light" than the country they "thought" they knew.

    The odd shout of "if you don't like it, go home then" by the people who live here and see France as Utopia, without any faults whatsoever, should not be a response to anyone they feel are dumbing down THEIR France.

    None of us, who tell it as we know it, do it for a laugh or to annoy those people we have all met, who say how jolly it all is and how wonderful it is to have the neighbour say, "bonjour" to them every morning (they don't speak French mind you and don't catch the next bit, which implies, "go home you rich Brit git" (alright that bit was a joke, wasn't it ?)

    Sure it can be great, it can be awful, it can be bloody annoying (oh, how true !) it can be hard and extremely testing, it can be truly exhilarating, it can be stressful (very), it can be heartbreaking to be away from friends and family, it can be quite expensive, it can be cheap but above all I guess, it is only experience and time that will tell you in the end, what it was all about.........................

    I cannot speak for those that are retired here but my guess would be, that it is a fair bit easier to live here and not encounter too many of the problems above, than those with families (or even without offspring I suspect) and a need to work hard to bring the euros home !

    So no Jon, no matches for the blue paper from me but perhaps there might be for me now !!  

     

    Link to comment
    Share on other sites

    Yup, It's it's exactly what I was thinking Miki. I don't have to work (but I am am too young to retire, so I hope to one day), and have no dependant children, so yes, I am very happy here, mainly because of the peace and tranquility I have here, which I could not have 'afforded' in UK.

    I just don't see that it can be an easy option to move to any other country if you have always lived in just one, but I do think I have made it easy on myself.

    Link to comment
    Share on other sites

    [quote]I've just thought of an alternative way of asking much the same question. To those of you who live here - if you could turn back the clock would you still choose to come to France? My answer would b...[/quote]

    No doubt Penny, if by turning back the clock you mean, we would know what would to expect from previous "visit"?

    Just think how easy it would be for many of us who had no idea or expectation, about what living in France would entail. All the endless hours getting it all wrong, hardly anyone to ask for help and those you did got it all arse upwards. We paid through the nose for so called experts to assist in our registering for this and that, we went on wild goose chases for bits of paper, we had several 40 minute drives to CPAM and other government offices, just to be told the person we had an appointment with, had the afternoon off etc etc.

    So the answer would be yes, we would do it again but being so much wiser, a lot of the stress and worries would not be there and knowing how it all worked would be a tremendous bonus to  "choosing to come to France"

    Link to comment
    Share on other sites

    Happy here?  Yes!  Unreservedly so?  No, but then that's pretty much life isn't it.

    I think I'm in something of a minority here on these boards because I'm Canadian, live in Paris, never owned property and the closest I ever get to children is when I go home to visit the rellies.  I had lived pretty much all over Canada and briefly in the States so I was used to the relocation thing.  My wife and I moved to France a little over two years ago because we were bored to tears with Canada.  No offense intended to Our True North Strong and Free, it's just that that's where we were in our lives.

    For us France has been a real gift: we like the people a lot, we love the food (produce mostly because we're vegetarians and most French restaurants haven't quite wrapped their minds around that concept yet, not like in London for example).  We find that Paris really is a moveable feast, we love travelling in France when we get the chance and find the weather quite agreeable North, South or wherever.  Sure the French paperwork can be a headache and the taxes kind of take your breath away for a while but the compensations are legion so we're not complaining.

    For us being here is a dream come true in a way.  It has so many things that we never had back home: history (I mean real history), the Arts, museums with something in them, and, well, the French!  I'm not sure what it's like for others but for us the French are _interesting_. (Trust me, Quebec isn't the same thing, not by a long shot.)  It's hard to describe but that old-worldness that some have mentioned feels more like home to us than home ever did.  That's a subtle but very big deal when you get right down to it.

    For what it's worth we don't find the French to be particularly bad drivers, comparatively speaking, and have found the French to be very helpful toward a couple of clueless ex-pat Canadians. "Resentment towards Foreigners"?  Not in our experience but then we've made a point of trying to remember that it's their country we're in and their ways of doing things, not ours, are the norm.  Some foreigners seem to forget that, to their considerable discomfort.

    Would we go back?  At gun point, maybe.  Will we stay here?  Who can say but we'll certainly be here for a good long while, maybe permanently if we can do the property thing (country, not city).  As others have said, the countryside really is pretty spectac.  Someday maybe I'll even be able to speak the language, things might really get interesting then.  My wife does much better in that department than I do, but I'm working on it.

    So sayeth a newbie,

    Zap

    Link to comment
    Share on other sites

    This has been a really interesting thread. 

    To Later, I would say that, and I don't mean this disrespectfully, that you are maybe too scared to make the move.  If you always look on the "down" side of things then you're not going to take the step, are you, and at the end of the day your website (I only had a quick look, so forgive me if I've missed something) has nothing positive, no "plus" side so to speak about living in France.

    As I've said before, I was born in France and raised in both France and the UK in equal measures, and the simplest thin is to just accept each country's faults and good points.  To move to France and carry on living as a Brit is probably a step on the road to a miserable life, the comment about Paris being grey and only being happy when the poster was with english people and in English pubs etc reinforces that.

    Everyone wants different things out of life as they get older, there's nothing wrong with yearning for bright lights or indeed the sleepiness of rural life.  I live in the Yorkshire Dales, am just about to sign for a house in Brittany, but when my kids leave home I'd probably like to swap that for a tiddly studio flat in Paris - but keep my rural idyll here.  (And believe me, Yorkshire Dales folk can be as unfriendly towards us incomers as any French person!).  It's what you make of your life that counts.

    A bientot.

    Nathalie

     

     

    Link to comment
    Share on other sites

     

    Thanks for that, now I'll jump in their before everyone else does ... I enjoyed your read, but I'm not sure you answered the question ... are you happy in France, where would you rather be if you weren't?

    John,

     

    I answered your question in a very considered and detailed fashion.  As I perceived a linkage, I also attempted to read between the lines of your other postings and incorporate a response to them,  perhaps this was a mistake!

     

    The abridged answer to the first part of your question is that I am happy enough in France, but not without qualification,  like the curate’s egg, it is good in parts.

     

    The abridged answer to the second part of your question was a 50/50 split between the UK and France.

     

    If you re-read my original posting perhaps you will recognise that the answers were there.

     

    There are other locations that I ‘think’ I could prefer, but as I attempted to convey in my original posting, no matter how often you have visited and had holidays in another country, it is not until you actually live there that you can truly ‘know’ whether you really like it, or not.

     

    Despite my criticisms of France the balance of 'push/pull' factors still make it a desirable location.

     

    Jon

    Link to comment
    Share on other sites

    Jon

    Point taken (I did enjoy reading your answer, by the way). 

    One thing that has come out of this for me is that, contrary to the theme of my website, a lot of people seem to make the move without doing much preparation and they are still very happy to be in France. 

    I wonder what other factors are at play here, because clearly it is not just good preparation (although I still think this is extremely important)?

    When I was in my twenties and thirties I used to change country on a whim, with no expectations and usually "got away" with it unscathed and having had a great time.  Now I'm older and supposedly wiser, I can't bring myself to do the same.  Especially with two young children.  I have others to consider ... well actually others call the shots and I do what I'm told  

    On that theme, when I was a boy my father's work meant we moved from one countryto another every few years and I always hated the move, but soon settled in and usually grew to love my new country (except Australia, which I never really took a liking to).   

    Link to comment
    Share on other sites

    [quote]Are you happy in France? Would you rather be somewhere else - if there were no obstacles to a move?[/quote]

    Are we happy in France?

    Yes, although we've been here for such a short time that we're still most likely in holiday mode. However, in my opinion, there are some obvious problems with thinking if mistakes can be as gross as I have read (on another website ).

    Weather. Choose your location. If you want it to be vastly superior in sunshine hours to say Brighton, then don't move to Somme!

    Location. If you are used to city life then move in or near a city if you think that country life would become too isolated and quiet. If you want the country life with land and horses then ... it couldn't be easier!

    Income. This is the #1 killer. Move over here to do up a gite and live off it and you will most likely fail. Have stable income and do not stretch yourself with your house aspirations and you will most likely be better off than in the UK. We run our own business online, we have sold our house in the UK (complete on Friday!) and will buy somewhere out here outright! No mortgage, and I am 32. To 'move up' in housing in the UK and have no mortgage at 32 would be an impossible dream for most, including us, but here we are doing it in France.

    What I'm saying is, use your common sense. If you do this then France can and (all being well) will be great for us and could be for anyone else too.

    Where will you find me? Most likely sitting with my wife outside a cafe in Saintes while our son and daughter are at school. We're having a great time and a few forms to fill in aren't going to stop that.

    As an addition, can I just say, I don't have all the answers - nobody does - but it amazes me how many brits we've met over here who are bordering on misery because of unrealistic expectations. Perhaps being blissful comes from ignorance AND common sense intelligence

    Would we rather be somewhere else?

    We considered the states, but that was too far away from relatives (for the sake of grandchildren). In our position we could be anywhere else in the world (as long as we have access to an internet connection) but positively chose France. And like some others, we have moved TO France, and not necessarily moved AWAY from England. The motivation doesn't come from hating England or so, just from the possibilities that France offers. Oh, and wouldn't it be boring to take the easy route and strive strive strive in England?

    Just my two penneth

    Link to comment
    Share on other sites

    Zap!  Loved your post, especially as we so very nearly emigrated to Canada

    What made us choose France over Canada?  Like you have said I just knew I'd probably find the lack of history in a country like Canada to be a definite downside and also the weather is much better in France  Another big factor in our decision was that it wouldn't be so easy to pop back to the UK to visit friends and family due to the distance and expense.   

    I'm pretty sure we made the right decision but we will definitely return to Canada for a holiday someday

    Link to comment
    Share on other sites

    In reply to your question, yes we are very happy in France. Where would we be if anywhere else, well it would be UK.

    We have lived here full time now for three years and love it. Yes, of course there are things that wind you up, things you dont like, people that are difficult, but that is life. On balance it is great and I am still not fluent speaking French. I have to say I find lots of the people are not anything like as friendly as you expect, but that is often the way in Southern England too, so no point worrying about it. 

    On balance I like the country, the food and the wine, if I have any gripe at all it is that the summer is too hot and I spend too much time in the summer behind stone walls to avoid the heat, but guess that must just be me.

    It is only 4 hours to get back home to Uk if I need to visit family, or they to visit us so I feel we have the best of both worlds really.

     We will certainly stay here for the forseeable future.

    Dawn

     

    Link to comment
    Share on other sites

    Lydia, Canada is a great place to visit!  If you're into anything related to the outdoors it is truly spectacular.  I lived in Vancouver for years and it is mecca for anyone into outdoor sports.  I used to cycle along the sea wall: rain forest on side and the ocean on the other (both less than 20 feet away!), mountains looming all around and no one there but you and the gulls if you were out early in the morning.  I miss that a lot.  Climbing, hiking, kayaking, skiing, wind-surfing, you name it.  Wilderness beauty is Canada's best, and virtually unlimited, virtue.  I spent many years enjoying that part of the country very much and I'm grateful for the opportunity to have done so.

    That said I'd have to add that unless you're in Quebec City or a few places out East "history" means stuff that was built or happened since 1900.  Many Canadian cities, Vancouver especially, make it a point of pride to rip down "old things" and build new stuff whenever and wherever possible.  Some construction sites proudly display a "heritage plaque" saying what used to be at the spot where they're building a new Super-store or whatever.  Heartbreaking!  Great for the developers, pretty abysmal for everyone else if you ask me.  I could go on with this but I think you get the point.  To quote an old friend, it's a great place to be from. 

    Link to comment
    Share on other sites

    Hi Zap

    My husband and I visited Canada for a month a few years back and absolutely loved it which is why we considered emigrating there.  We flew to Calgary, travelled across the rockies to Banff and then onto Vancouver and Vancouver Island.  Flew from there to Toronto, then drove up to Ottawa and Montreal.  We adored Vancouver and that's where we would have liked to have lived if we had emigrated; either there or the Okanagan.  We will most definitely go back there one day..........

    In the meantime and for the foreseeable future, we're busy building and enjoying our new life in France

    Link to comment
    Share on other sites

    • 2 years later...

    Create an account or sign in to comment

    You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

    Create an account

    Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

    Register a new account

    Sign in

    Already have an account? Sign in here.

    Sign In Now
     Share


    ×
    ×
    • Create New...