child support maintenance

[Debra]

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[battypuss1]

Be very careful here. The CAF in theory will chase payments for you, but in practice they don't do a damn thing, even when furnished with the correct address. I was awarded payment for my three children by a French court, but ex-husband refused to pay a penny and the court did nothing. The CAF paid me a small amount instead, but now say they want all their money back - backdated for 8 years!

[Viv]

I think you should go for a UK court order.

I think also that you will need the other parents permission to take the children out of the country  and if this is likely to be an issue it can be settled there also.

[zeb]

Is it possible for their father to make voluntary contributions Debra? Our friend moved abroad with her children from a previous marriage and realised that maintenance couldn't be carried on through the CSA.

The father has shared care through all school holidays so usually has them back to the UK for a large chunk for the holidays. He set up a bank transfer for maintenance payments for when they are living with their mum. They are both better off (and happier) financially with this arrangement.

I realise that this is probably an exceptional case as both parents were wanting what suited them all best with no hassle, and not all absent parents pay willingly, but in my friend's case it works well.

[Debra]

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[hoverfrog]

my understanding is that if you have a court order then there is a reciprical agreement between France and UK, and the UK courts have to chase it for you if payment is not made.

With no UK court agreement you would need to get a french court order and then get the UK courts to chase that. Call me cynical, but I think they might be more enthusiastic about chasing a home-grown order!

The CSA told my ex that as we'd moved to France he didn't have to pay any more, so I think you are right to get a court order before you leave as it would make things a lot easier if he stopped paying.

I was told that you didn't need the other parent's permission to take the children to another EU country, but may have been mis-informed! I told him that anyway, and apart from stopping paying maintenance he didn't argue the point.

hoverfrog

[Debra]

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[Viv]

http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/HMCSCourtFinder/GetForms.do;jsessionid=4DA0441EEAAADB7E4182F65E5CFFEBAC

 

Try this website , have a go at DIY if you and your ex are on reasonable terms.The Family Courts are ok about this sort of thing. You could even fill in what you both want, and then just get it rubber stamped at court.

I would aim to get the court bit done first and then cancel the CSA , I wouldn't do it the otherway round.

[hoverfrog]

I'm sorry I don't know how to go about it these days - but I would agree that you need to do the court thing before cancelling the CSA!

However good terms you are on with your ex now, in my experience you still need to cover your back. My ex decided to cancel payments without telling me, and never said a word even though I was paying airfares for our daughter to go back and see him on a regular basis, and we put him and his new wife up at our house and taxied them around too. Not only did he leave me in a financial situation, but it really hurt her that he could 'abandon' all responsibility for her.

Much better, IMHO, to get everything legalised first off. Wish I had, instead of assuming that our good relations would mean he would continue to do his bit.

hoverfrog

[Debra]

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[Viv]

Whenever I have needed any advice re the right form , procedure etc , the staff at the Family courts have been really helpful.

You can do it while you are in the UK but i would get onto to it sooner rather than later.

I know what you say about the courts preferring not to give orders but I think that this is the best way of protecting your and your ex's interests, so I think I would push for one. 

 Try not to get too stressed about it. best of luck.

[Debra]

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[Debra]

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[andyh4]

Debra,

why not?  It is part of your worldwide income.

[Debra]

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[Debra]

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[zeb]

Debra - I know nothing of your ex-partner's financial situation but from your previous posts telling us all (and maybe he's read some of them) of your property purchases so far, your plans for future building work, your plans to buy a property in Kent and also that you don't intend to work once you move to France, all point to the fact that you can probably support all your children yourself. So why go through all this hassle, which will undoubtedly rub off on the kids, of court orders etc etc?

Why not just come to some agreement with your ex-partner over future shared care during school holidays. Perhaps they could go stay with him in the UK for a few weeks a year?

Money isn't everything, and from past experience I know that some things can be worked out well without any reference to money.

[Viv]

I think perhaps the reality of his kids leaving the UK is starting to kick in. [U]

From what you have said, he does seem a reasonable chap and you seem to have a good relationship ( this is just what I am gleaning from your posts).

I think kid gloves and lots of reassurance and patience should go someway to getting things sorted - I hope so anyway[:D]

[Debra]

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[Iceni]

Debra , Mr Cynical speaking

If he WANTS to pay maintenance he will do so whether court inspired or not. If he does NOT want to pay he won't unless/until forced to do so perhaps by your saying "no money, no see children".

You are very wise in ensuring that you could make a move without his contributions. He could easily say "yes, yes, yes" and then cut off the money supply leaving you in the merde. EDF won't accept a court endorsed agreement in lieu of real money.

Unfortunately he seems to hold the aces and perhaps is just playing you along with no intention of ever giving permission to take them away ?

John

not

[Debra]

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[bigjimbishop]

When I decided to leave UK with my 3 yr old son I got parental consent, a contact order and an order to remove him from the UK jurisdiction.

As it happens his mother was in agreement that she could not care for him so we drew up the application together and put in conditions of contact which was basicly open.

I got Allocation Parent Isole for 1 year (loads of money) which is a 'getting back on your feet' allowance and I was supposed to prove she was not supporting me in order to recieve this.

But she is homeless and I've no idea where to find her so they just gave me the money. I think the allowance was possibly better than any maintenance I might have got from her anyway.

She has not stuck to the contact agreement and never writes or phones and I have found that my son is totally happy without an inconsistant parent in his life.

So I reckon it's possibly counter-productive to chase for maintenance if you can get by without as it does cloud the water a bit.

I'm sure your kids will have a great time here as my boy does.

good luck to you

[Debra]

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[bigjimbishop]

We drew up an agreement for the details of a 'reasonable contact order' together but she did not want me to have a residency order as she felt that removed all her rights over our son.

This is not the case as the residency order merely states with whom the child lives until he is 16. She can challenge it anytime.

As it happens the residency order arrived as part of the jurisdiction order.

As long as both parents have parental responsibility then joint decisions cover issues of religion, schooling and medical treatment.

But as soon as the kids have been resident in France for more than 6 months then French law takes over and the other parent has little chance of changing the situation. This has been tried and tested recently and got a lot of media coverage.

I got a great solicitor (who deals in child abduction by an estranged parent) to help me get through this.

Luckily it was an amicable.

However I did benefit from the political scene at the time. This was the period nearly 2 years ago when Fathers for Justice were in the news.

I suspect that any earlier and I might have really struggled to take my son with me.

As concerns your hubbies ex, when you make an application for an order to the courts the respondant has a time frame in which to react. If she does not then the order is likely to be granted in her absence.

I know this works for Parental Consent so with a good lawyer it should work for the other orders as well. Having the maternal grandmothers blessing really helps. I can't imagine you will have a problem.

I've agreed not to remove my son from the jurisdiction of France (unless on holiday for less than 31 days) just so the door cannot be closed entirely. I think this is only fair as one day I will no doubt have to explain it to my son.

Best of luck

[Debra]

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