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Unsubtle scam letter

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I thought this one I recieved today was worthy of reproduction if only for the numerous references to scams, drugs, terrorism etc which I would have thought would put even a cretin on guard

Customers Service Hours--Monday to Saturday:
Office Hours Monday to Saturday:

Greetings !!!

We have been waiting for you to contact me for your Trunk Box worth
$1,650,000.00 (One Million, Six Hundred and Fifty Thousand United States
Dollars), being compensation fund for 150 scam victims, but I did not hear from
you all this while.

I have deposited the Trunk Box with FEDEX COURIER SERVICE, West Africa, I
traveled out of the country for a 3 Months Course and I will not be back until
completion of my 3 months course. What you have to do now is to contact the
FEDEX COURIER SERVICE immediately to know when they will deliver your
consignment to you because of the expiring date.

For your information, I have paid for the delivery Charge, Insurance premium and
Clearance Certificate Fee of the consignment showing that it is not a Drug Money
or meant to sponsor Terrorism attack in your Country. The only money you will
send to the FEDEX COURIER SERVICE to deliver your Trunk Box direct to your
postal Address in your country is US$185 only being Security Keeping Fee of the
Courier Company so far. Again, don't be deceived by anybody to pay any other
money except US$185.

I would have paid that but they refused, because they don't know when you will
contact them and in case of demurrage. You have to contact the FEDEX COURIER
SERVICE now for the delivery of your Trunk Box with this information below:

Contact Agent: Mr. John Williams

Email Address: [email protected]

Phone Number: +2348022659434

Reconfirm the below information to the agent:
Full Name;........
Home Address;........

Let me repeat again, try to contact them immediately you receive this mail to
avoid any further delay and remember to pay the Security Keeping fee of US$185
for their immediate action. You should also let me know through email as soon as
you receive your consignment. Below is an attached copy of your trunk box.

Yours Faithfully,
Mrs. Rosemary Campbell

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I got one purporting to be from the FBI today.

Very thoughtfull of them to warn me about scams I thought in the same mail telling me I have come into  lodsa dosh.

I am Samuel Murphy, secretary to the FBI Director; Robert S. Mueller III. After proper investigations, 
we discovered that your impending payment that have been withheld by Banks in United Kingdom and Nigeria 
from Winning Lottery, Inheritance Payment, Government Contract Awards, Courier Agencies and as 
investigations revealed that you have some difficulties with Government entities and other monitoring 
bodies in getting your payment across to you and misinformation from their respective agents.

With the help of some of the best Internet investigators attached to the FBI, we were able to track your
information as one of the beneficiaries awaiting payment and I am pleased to inform you that a meeting was
 held regarding the best way to carry out the of One Million, Five Hundred United State Dollars and most 
especially to avoid re-occurrence of the delay in transferring your funds and the high cost of procuring 
transfer documents from all necessary bodies involved.

You are to contact our agent Mr. Ferdinand Anthony immediately and acquaint him with the following
information as stated below;

Full Name:
Home Address:
Telephone Number:

FBI Agent Contact Information
Name: Mr. Ferdinand Anthony
Phone: +23470-6651-3344
E-Mail: [email protected]

Mr. Ferdinand will put you through necessary procedures to ensure our money is paid out to you through a
Fast and Secure channel.

We also advise that you stop further communications with imposters and forward any correspondence to the
FBI so as to enable us bring them to book.

For: Mr. Robert S. Mueller III

This email and its attachments may be confidential and are intended solely for the use of the individual
to whom it is addressed. Any views or opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not 
necessarily represent those of Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI). If you are not the intended 
recipient of this email and its attachments, you must take no action based upon them, nor must you copy or 
show them to anyone. Please contact the sender if you believe you have received this email in error.
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