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Integration, isolation, friendships... (offshot from the DSK thread)


Rabbie
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[quote user="Chancer"]

Idun, I suggest that you visit my part of Picardie and you will then look back on Normandie with fond memories [:D]

[/quote]

Look Chancer, this guy also complains about Picardie   [:)]

http://youtu.be/nl-Db3_qsSM   " On aurait pu aller s'installer à Moscou.. On n'aurait pas été dépaysés, ni par la température ni par les gens ... " [:D]

PS : Chancer, you got a PM.

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I am interested by what people understand by integration or indeed "integration"? Does it mean more than just becoming part of a community, living in a place, sometimes going to social events, chatting to neighbours? Is there an implication that you have to adopt the local social norms and mores in some way?

If it means you have to put wallpaper on the doors and eat your main meal at lunchtime then I shall never be integrated...
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Well, I have recently taken to eating my main meal at lunchtime but the reason has nothing to do with wanting to be integrated, whatever that means.

I like to have a smaller meal in the evening as I am less active then and I also like to get the main cooking of the day done so that the rest of the day is mine to pursue other interests.

I don't like wallpaper, so I don't have that on walls OR doors.  Perhaps, that makes me only HALF integrated?

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That's why I maintain it is impossible.

I can never be born into the community where I live, never go to primary school with people who are now over 65, never have my great -grandparents in the cemetery  and neither can I lose my own past which makes me what I am.

Yet those are the ties which make the whole.

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[quote user="sweet 17"]I don't like wallpaper, so I don't have that on walls OR doors.  Perhaps, that makes me only HALF integrated?[/quote]

The decisive issue  -  at least in my neighbourhood  -  is whether you have wallpaper on your ceiling.  Floral is vital, flock is preferred.

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If you have to have grandparents in the churchyard, go to school together etc etc then OH and I would never be integrated anywhere... Have to say, I feel much closer to the people here in our village than I do to my Tory voting, city-dwelling, public school contemporaries.
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I agree that one can't be really integrated into a place where one has no roots, but can feel more comfortable there.

In my town it would be very difficult to get a job with the Mairie for example if you didn't belong to the  group of people I describe, and that is a place of 80,000, and although I worked for over 12 years with one association I was often very left out  when the talk turned to certain topics.

It's even harder in the very regional areas such as French Catalonia..

That despite being on good terms with the local Deputé (he came across to introduce himself to my son in a restaurant last week, although I pointed out there were no votes in it for him [6]

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I tend to agree with Norman.

I have no problem with being an English person in a French community. I like it that way. I have no desire to become French. I've never understood this apparent need to be, or appear to be, something you aren't.

Perhaps you become 'integrated' when you stop being bothered about it? And perhaps learning how to spell it is the first step...

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[quote user="EmilyA"]If you have to have grandparents in the churchyard, go to school together etc etc then OH and I would never be integrated anywhere... Have to say, I feel much closer to the people here in our village than I do to my Tory voting, city-dwelling, public school contemporaries.[/quote]

Hi Emily, just wait until you need to borrow a tenner!

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[quote user="Will"]I tend to agree with Norman.

I have no problem with being an English person in a French community. I like it that way. I have no desire to become French. I've never understood this apparent need to be, or appear to be, something you aren't.

Perhaps you become 'integrated' when you stop being bothered about it? And perhaps learning how to spell it is the first step...
[/quote]

I'll second that Will - totally agree (although I'm a Scot)!

For me it's all about the WIIFM thing - What's In It For Me?

Wherever I live - I take the very best from it, pay my way and contribute where I can, where I'm needed and where I choose to.

If that doesn't make me happy then I move on.

Simon :-)

 

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[quote user="woolybanana"]Well, these days when I see the mayor I pat him on the tum and express my surprise that he is not in prison. Is that integrated or what?[/quote]

As opposed to my old Maire who I would have rather liked to head butt, not that I ever have, but he would be likely candidate to practice on and the dinky xxxxx was just the right height. [:-))]

Integration is about inclusion to me. Not being les anglais that people moan about because they never join in and no one knows them. Me being the sort of lady who gets told she's going a bracconage'ing with the ladies......... and I did. [Www]. I didn't actually do it, I was look out[Www][Www]

I was never french, I wasn't ever expected to be french, I was expected to be me and my french friends still love me for it.

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I agree about integration / inclusion, Idun. Can't imagine wanting to be French either and I'm not sure how you ever could be really. Very happy to be English in France and after all it is nothing new, there have been British living here through many centuries.
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