DSK, can we believe this?

[Richard51]

Well said Chris.

Mrs R51

[idun]

What does this now really say.

Well for me, it says, that every woman no longer has the right to 'private is private', that is obviously for the rich and famous and not the likes of 'us'.

It says that if we are single, our reputations have to be squeaky clean, be virtuous, as forbid, any female who has had intercourse the previous day and then gets assaulted. Then we're back to 'she's a slag, so she was asking for it', but even worse than before.

It says that for all just about every single person on the planet lies, If you are attacked, watch what you are lying about. Because you can tell the whole truth about the attack, but if you lie about other things, then this calls the attack in quesion. And yet as children we are told not to lie, and then taught how to do it, as adults can no more cope with infantile truths than they can with adult truths. 

Do I think that all men are rapists, not at all. Men are equipped to be rapists though, with their strength and physcial make up. And in the majority of cases, man's strength is good, maybe I am odd, but I like the feel of a strong man holding me, not to damage me, but to love me, it is one of my world's great pleasures. I hardly dare think how terrifying this would then feel if this strength became agressive and forceful, it would be terrifying.

 

 

 

 

[Quillan]

Strange isn't it Idun, this French attitude about sexual assult and rape.

Last weekend I went to a garden party, as in a proud garden owner opening his garden to the village and having a few drinks. I noticed something odd, a couple of middle age too whom nobody spoke. I was talking to another couple I know and it appears the wife of said couple was subjected, much to my total amazment, to sexual assault by the husband of the couple not being spoken to. They told me he lured the wife in to a house that he was working on in the village to show her the quality of work he did because he knew they were looking for a builder. Once upstairs he pushed her against a wall and tried to rape her. She apparently (and I can well believe it to be the case as she is quite fit) punched him in the face, knocking him to the ground and then kicked him very hard in the boll*cks and fled. Being as her husband was at work she went to a friends house where the chap was in, she told him what had happened, obviously in a distressed state, and he offered to go round and 'sort the offender out'. She said no and then chap then told her that this man had a reputation for this sort of thing and it was well know which is why, apparently, nobody speaks to the couple. Where the Gendarmes called I asked, no because it was her word against his and the Gendarmes would probably take his word that nothing happened or that she 'came on' to him. Perhaps if she and all the others complained to the Gendarmes they might click that perhaps there is some truth in the matter but we will never know.

I was quite shocked because I consider this a very, very, serious crime and yet people seemed to let it go. Personally I would have been straight round to the Gendarmerie (after going rou d and giving the bloke a few more kicks in the boll*cks) and demanded something be done immediately. It has somewhat shaken my 'trust' in some of the people that live in my village and in some ways I can see a small link in attitude to what has happened with DSK.

[idun]

French attitude to child abuse too, it's all the same, covered up, the victim bringing shame to the family. And I would say that anything bad and sexual or violent towards women and men are treat with kidd gloves.

I think I shall scream if I hear 'french family values' ever again. That apparently  refers to the odd bbq or fete each year, or maybe not, I have yet to really work it out. It sounds grand though and means absolutely nothing. 

This whole integration thing that is mentioned; well, until you start hearing the whispers about the down right disgusting and despicable in a french village, then no one is 'integrated' in my opinion. Because as I said, every one lies. They do every day in France with their ça va and the reply ça va. How often is that response a true one. But we say it as it is expected and a polite front to real life.

Me and my neighbour, 'ça va Nath' with a smile, Nath says 'ça va' back, also smiling. When she should have said, 'ça va pas, my husband's been shagging my colleague and I'm considering suicide', but you see, we don't, but soon after, she left home and did try to kill herself three times. And if I hadn't been 'integrated' I may not have been told all those details, the gossip, the dark side to village life. And if she had had the courage to tell me, then I think that she may not have at least made attempts on her life.

If I didn't have 'my' man in my life, I would have another one. I like men's company and cuddles and the rest. I would hate to sound anti male, I'm not, I'm anti macho and anti rapists and abusers though.

[Frenchie]

Not anti man but a bit anti French ? Hmm ? [:D]

[idun]

[quote user="Frenchie"]Not anti man but a bit anti French ? Hmm ? [:D][/quote]

[:)]Hmmm I know quite a lot of french men and they are not automatically macho, far from it. If you are even trying to suggest that all french men are macho, then you are meeting the wrong sort of men then, unless you find macho particularly attractive and then each to his own.

I don't talk about people behind their backs. That is why the secretary in our Mairie liked me, because we had some barnies but I was dead straight with her. She told me the village was full of hypocrites, so there you go and  she ended up being a good ally.

Now I have a friend and she gets so enthusiastic about things she does and gets and sometimes these things are awful, wouldn't suit me at all. Would I tell her, not usually, because it isn't about what 'I' like is it? it is what 'she' likes and if it makes her that happy, then I am happy for her and I word carefully what I say. It is a question of how you view things. And even with her, I have sometimes said when there is something I really do not like, but why upset her or make her unhappy when I don't have to. Life is balancing things as far as I am concerned and is never all about me and my likes and dislikes. Incidentally, I do not like her husband one little bit, but I don't have to say that, she doesn't either![:-))]

[Frenchie]

[quote user="idun"]

[quote user="Frenchie"]Not anti man but a bit anti French ? Hmm ? [:D][/quote]

[:)]Hmmm I know quite a lot of french men and they are not automatically macho, far from it. If you are even trying to suggest that all french men are macho, then you are meeting the wrong sort of men then, unless you find macho particularly attractive and then each to his own.

[:-))]

[/quote]

Thank God, no, I never thought French men were more macho than other men ! You got me wrong !

As to what I like in a man, it's humour,  kindness, a good listener, someone who likes talking too, and who gives me a feeling of protection. Someone I can trust, and rely on. And someone who loves me of course  !

Now you know almost everything. [:D]

 

[Quillan]

[quote user="Frenchie"][quote user="idun"]

[quote user="Frenchie"]Not anti man but a bit anti French ? Hmm ? [:D][/quote]

[:)]Hmmm I know quite a lot of french men and they are not automatically macho, far from it. If you are even trying to suggest that all french men are macho, then you are meeting the wrong sort of men then, unless you find macho particularly attractive and then each to his own.

[:-))]

[/quote]

Thank God, no, I never thought French men were more macho than other men ! You got me wrong !

As to what I like in a man, it's humour,  kindness, a good listener, someone who likes talking too, and who gives me a feeling of protection. Someone I can trust, and rely on. And someone who loves me of course  !

Now you know almost everything. [:D]

[/quote]

Ah so that would be either a Norwegian, Swede of British chap (in that order) then and definatly not a French chap who apparently only got beaten in to last place by the Australians.

and would you love them back?

[Frenchie]

A votre avis ??

[:)]

NO, only ONE of them would be enough !!  LOL

 

[woolybanana]

Sure?

[Quillan]

Frenchie, you said "And someone who loves me of course". Love is a two way thing, you need to love them back as well. [;-)]

[Frenchie]

That was so obvious !

I wrote about what I expected from a man, not what I could give ! [;-)]

Anyway, this is not the topic of the thread ..

[Frenchie]

I'm a sad sad person then. ( anyway, I know that's what you think of me [:P] ! )

My life is linked to my son and the persons I love . Talking about me would be talking about  US .

Alone, I would be a faded flower.

I understand SARA perfectly well.

As to DSK, this is only YOUR opinion about him, that I'm not the only one not to share .

You are provocative, so, carry on, " ça me fait de la musique !! " [:P]  ( or should I say Muzak ?)

 

[Simon-the-censored]

Oh dear Frenchie - you've missed the point - again and started to get personal - again!

No response.

Simon :-)

[Frenchie]

[quote user="Simon-come-lately"]- you've missed the point - again  Oh really ?? You suggested Sara only thought of herself through the person she loves, and I said some people, like me, only see their life this way, .. Can't see why I missed the point...  and started to get personal - again!  Who started it ? Come on , you perfectly know what I think about the DSK matter, and tried to  provoke me with  " the dirty old man" No response. Simon :-)[/quote] Better this way, nuff said .. 

[Frenchie]

Sure ? I ve heard in le Mans people are très méchants  though ...  LOL ... [:D]

[Simon-the-censored]

[quote user="Frenchie"][quote user="Simon-come-lately"]- you've missed the point - again  Oh really ?? You suggested Sara only thought of herself through the person she loves, and I said some people, like me, only see their life this way, .. Can't see why I missed the point...  and started to get personal - again!  Who started it ? Come on , you perfectly know what I think about the DSK matter, and tried to  provoke me with  " the dirty old man" No response. Simon :-)[/quote] Better this way, nuff said .. [/quote]

Well Frenchie, how very wrong, how very red, and how very agressive.

I rest my case.....

Simon :-)

[Russethouse]

[quote user="Frenchie"][quote user="Simon-come-lately"]- you've missed the point - again  Oh really ?? You suggested Sara only thought of herself through the person she loves, and I said some people, like me, only see their life this way, .. Can't see why I missed the point...  and started to get personal - again!  Who started it ? Come on , you perfectly know what I think about the DSK matter, and tried to  provoke me with  " the dirty old man" No response. Simon :-)[/quote] Better this way, nuff said .. [/quote]

 Oh for goodness sake Frenchie - I could shake you - you are a teacher, a mother, have been a partner and maybe again - you have passionate views, you are interested in current affairs, you love dogs, you are interested in food etc, etc - in fact you are a 'rich tapestry' just as we all are.  Of course our families are important to us and thats part of what makes us who we are, but we are individuals too - what will happen if your son wants to emigrate ?

Be proud of yourself for your own sake, its lovely to be part of a couple or a family but you are worthwhile in your own right....

[Russethouse]

 I'm not very good at splitting threads - but if Clare doesn't come along I'll try later - in the meantime why not start the ball rolling with a new topic ?

[Frenchie]

[quote user="Russethouse"]

[quote user="Frenchie"][quote user="Simon-come-lately"]- you've missed the point - again  Oh really ?? You suggested Sara only thought of herself through the person she loves, and I said some people, like me, only see their life this way, .. Can't see why I missed the point...  and started to get personal - again!  Who started it ? Come on , you perfectly know what I think about the DSK matter, and tried to  provoke me with  " the dirty old man" No response. Simon :-)[/quote] Better this way, nuff said .. [/quote]

 Oh for goodness sake Frenchie - I could shake you - you are a teacher, a mother, have been a partner and maybe again - you have passionate views, you are interested in current affairs, you love dogs, you are interested in food etc, etc - in fact you are a 'rich tapestry' just as we all are.  Of course our families are important to us and thats part of what makes us who we are, but we are individuals too - what will happen if your son wants to emigrate ?

Be proud of yourself for your own sake, its lovely to be part of a couple or a family but you are worthwhile in your own right....

[/quote]

I understand what you mean, butit seems my English is not good enough for me to express what I mean .

Yes, I'm interested in lots of things, in history, castles, genealogy, etc etc, but I have the feeling the core of my life is being a mother and a woman. Loving and being loved. And without that I would only be a pale copy of myself.

I am an independent person, a sailing boat that needs to know there's a cosy place for it in the harbour , or else, it would drift away with no goal.

 

[Russethouse]

[quote user="Frenchie"][quote user="Russethouse"]

[quote user="Frenchie"][quote user="Simon-come-lately"]- you've missed the point - again  Oh really ?? You suggested Sara only thought of herself through the person she loves, and I said some people, like me, only see their life this way, .. Can't see why I missed the point...  and started to get personal - again!  Who started it ? Come on , you perfectly know what I think about the DSK matter, and tried to  provoke me with  " the dirty old man" No response. Simon :-)[/quote] Better this way, nuff said .. [/quote]

 Oh for goodness sake Frenchie - I could shake you - you are a teacher, a mother, have been a partner and maybe again - you have passionate views, you are interested in current affairs, you love dogs, you are interested in food etc, etc - in fact you are a 'rich tapestry' just as we all are.  Of course our families are important to us and thats part of what makes us who we are, but we are individuals too - what will happen if your son wants to emigrate ?

Be proud of yourself for your own sake, its lovely to be part of a couple or a family but you are worthwhile in your own right....

[/quote]

I understand what you mean, butit seems my English is not good enough for me to express what I mean .

Yes, I'm interested in lots of things, in history, castles, genealogy, etc etc, but I have the feeling the core of my life is being a mother and a woman. Loving and being loved. And without that I would only be a pale copy of myself.

I am an independent person, a sailing boat that needs to know there's a cosy place for it in the harbour , or else, it would drift away with no goal.

[/quote]

 Just make sure you always value yourself enough - we are all different - and I know what you mean, its nice to be part of a couple or family or group of friends   - good job we are all different.!

[Clair]

This thread was unavailable for a short while whilst I was splitting the posts into a new thread on the topic of integration, isolation, friendships... HERE.

If you think a post from this thread belongs to the new thread, send me a PM with the name of the poster and the date and time of posting and I shall endeavour to move it.

Now, DSK... [Www]

[Tom]

If only the News of the World had hacked in to his phone. Then we might have found out the truth.

[Clair]

The former Great White Hope...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/aug/26/french-socialists-fear-return-strauss-kahn

[5-element]

Quite. If he has any sense, he will be taking a long holiday in some undisclosed location, well away from the limelight. At least until the next presidential elections are over.