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so... why did you stay in France... revisited


Rose
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I joined this forum in 2007 and my first post ran to 46 pages... and at times was a very scary thing [Www]

A few posts that I've seen lately have reminded me of that thread, so I found it and re-read it... and very interesting it was too!

http://www.completefrance.com/cs/forums/46/870812/ShowPost.aspx#87081
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If you can be bothered to read through this epic... I'd be interested to hear from those still posting... have your veiws changed much/at all?  And if folks aren't posting... do we know what happened to them... did they leave France?  So many old names that are no longer around... the forum seems a different place back then [8-)]

p.s. I was then known as Pale Pink Specs... but soon realised that this kind of thing was frowned upon so quickly changed to Rose (had a brief fling as Scarlat for an hour or two an quickly went back to Rose).  Has anyone else changed their old forum name?

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We never planned on staying for our dotage, even though we speak french and have good friends and our son is in France, that was never the plan. I have never understood anyone moving to a country to retire to, but especially those that really don't know the language or culture or think they do via the Amanda Lamb brigade etc.

Never had any sort of specs about France, it was expensive too, well where we moved to it was. Until I found this board in what 2000, then I had never heard of 'living the dreamers' or 'France is better' and all that sort of stuff and (from my point of view), nonsense. Those brits we know or met who lived in France, were as adventurous as we were.

We left three years ago. Still have our friends in France. Don't miss France the country, I miss my mountains and friends, but that was the same when I lived in France, I missed the sea and friends in the UK.

 

And yes, I have changed my name on here.

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I did start with the intention of reading the first postings but slowly began to lose the will to live[:)] I have to say that my love of (a lot of things in) France is about 40+ years, and whilst my heart maybe in France, my head (and family) is in UK; With a foot in both camps, I can't really see that changing anytime soon, so when one pale's the other picks me back up. I could join in the moans about anything (and a few things in particular) but that's exactly the time to change tack and remember we're here for a good time not necessarily a long time.[8-|]
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We have stayed because its the longest place we have ever lived as a married couple and also for our children who can barely remember being small now in the UK. Hopefully the next generation will be here in France although with my son changing to french nationality shortly it will be strange. Wouldn't want to return unless we had plenty of money and could choose as good a spot as we have here (sea five mins away in the car). Have seen a lot of people who came here for whom we worked for, return,usually for the pull of family or lack of money/jobs. Quite a few people too have been victims of divorce simply because one half of the couple just could not adapt or adultery was involved. They say you stay for three years and after that you either go or stay for good which we have found to be true.
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I looked back at the thread too, Rose - though it started before my time. I remember you as PPS, and Scarlet too and having met you, I think Rose is just right! [:)]

I took to hopping through the thread, which I thought was depressing and also bitchy in parts, and it also seemed very cliquey - which is something I felt very strongly when I joined. It was also very interesting - and I wondered like you how many people are still around. I know quite a number have moved on, but recognise some who are still around, with a different name.

Rose, maybe you could bring things up to date on how things have gone for your family, and how settled you all are; those who are still around would be interested - and it might help newcomers - I know there are fewer these days, but there are some!  [:)]

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I've just read the first few pages and am saving the rest for later - nostalgic.

I found my first contribution , mentioning the animals. We also felt we just couldn't be bothered with all the packing up, clearing rubbish, selling stuff etc;

Still content here, but probably won't stay forever.

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We love it here (10 years), but we have always moved around, abroad and at home, all our (separate and together) lives.  And neither of is has much in the way of family ties in UK.  Most of the people we know who have moved back to UK have wanted to be with children or grandchildren.  If I was to think of returning to the UK now, I would have no particular region that calls to me, and I think I would find it a little frightening after so long away.  I rarely visit UK.

I would like to know what happened to MAZAN who was so helpful on technical things.....

Chrissie (81)

 

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Rose, you certainly get the impression that there is a high return rate, as these days there seems to be many more postings from people going back to the UK than arriving. On another French Forum I am a member of, there is a section for those going back to the UK and it is far busier than the section for those moving to France.

Mind you it should not be surprising, as with the weak pound, declining UK house prices and the need for early retirees to take out private health insurance, not sure many can afford the move these days.

I read somewhere that about 75 per cent of retired Brits in France end up leaving within 7 years on average, usually because of debt, divorce or death of a partner.
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I think Mazan had stopped posting before Rose started. Why does the word Mazan conjure up an image of someone sitting on a roof ? One of many sadly lost track of. I could never really decide if Mazan was a he or a she.

Hoddy

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[quote user="Chrissie"]

We love it here (10 years), but we have always moved around, abroad and at home, all our (separate and together) lives.  And neither of is has much in the way of family ties in UK.  Most of the people we know who have moved back to UK have wanted to be with children or grandchildren.  If I was to think of returning to the UK now, I would have no particular region that calls to me, and I think I would find it a little frightening after so long away.  I rarely visit UK.

I would like to know what happened to MAZAN who was so helpful on technical things.....

Chrissie (81)

 

[/quote]

MAZAN was before my time !

What happenned to Dick Smith, top notch with the written word!

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Mazan was a man and I think he left France and went to the Far East, and how I could be wrong about that, many apologies if I am.

You've missed Pucette out of that list Val2 and I have often wondered, but mostly worried a lot about her and do hope that she is OK. The only person who has left that I have worried about in anyway.

 

Interesting that a board has such a section as 'leaving France'. It's fair enough, people have to live and France for many must have been a surprise at least.  Like Val2 I can see me having at least one child remaining in France, not that he has french nationality; although if he moves on it won't surprise me either.

 

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If I remember correctly Dick Smith just got tired of the forums - Will may know..... I sometimes wonder about Chris Head who did the wood carving with a chain saw - he came back briefly but he's not been around for a while.....

What about Tresco ?

 I know a really nice lady called Magaret moved to Italy rather than France, after years of learning French too !

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Yes Pucette, I remember her well and Tresco and Punch for posting too. Some us, me included went away for a few years when certain troublemakers started turning this site into just another slanging match and you could not post anything without them turning on you. Lots of people have also returned to UK or gone on elsewhere so french forums are not of any further interest to them.
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[quote user="Russethouse"]

What about Tresco ?

[/quote]

I corresponded with Tresco for a time, but she faded into the ether a while ago and I've no idea what became of her. Shame: she was a high quality human being.

I'm still here because everything I have (family, property, useless dog, empty-ish bank account (plus ça change...)) is here. Besides, I like it here.

I couldn't imagine moving back to the UK. I last went there with some friends to watch France play Scotland in the Six Nations in 2010. It was fun. None of them had visited the UK before. They concluded that it was nice for a visit, but they wouldn't want to live there. I'm rather of the same opinion.

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[quote user="gardengirl "]

I looked back at the thread too, Rose - though it started before my time. I remember you as PPS, and Scarlet too and having met you, I think Rose is just right! [:)]

I took to hopping through the thread, which I thought was depressing and also bitchy in parts, and it also seemed very cliquey - which is something I felt very strongly when I joined. It was also very interesting - and I wondered like you how many people are still around. I know quite a number have moved on, but recognise some who are still around, with a different name.

Rose, maybe you could bring things up to date on how things have gone for your family, and how settled you all are; those who are still around would be interested - and it might help newcomers - I know there are fewer these days, but there are some!  [:)]

[/quote]

GG - it was a bit of a scary place at times wasn't it [:D]

Things worked out pretty much how we thought they would  and lots of our worries came to nothing.  Maybe we're lucky in that our village seems to have welcomed us, we have fantastic neighbours and our son is happy and doing well at school.  We never expected that I would get cancer... but thank goodness that seems to be taken care of now.

I miss friends and England more than I thought I would... but not enough to make me move back.  I'm getting better at the language but it's not easy and it seems the more I learn the more I realise there is to learn.  Having said that my skills have been tested this last year and I seem to be doing ok. We sold our business in the UK which wasn't part of our plan so we had to create a plan B for earning a living - but this too is working well and far less stressful that the commute and running the old business. 

It greives me to say this but the worst problems we've had in France have been caused by other ex-pats with too much time on their hands and a desire to intefere in other folks' business... there are a few unpleasant souls around that just seem to want to spuddle... but we've learned to give them a very wide birth.

I've learned to loath  DIY - I am so over the joy of building a wall and running electrics [:D]  I hated living in the mess so I'm glad we've virtually finished.  We're extending on the side of the house soon... and yippee... builders are coming to do the work.

We are in a good location which I have to say was more luck than judgement. Between Perigueux and Bergerac means we're not far from most things.  There is also always something going so we dont get bored.  We've made some wonderful wonderful freinds here now too.

UK Friends and family always ask if we're here for good and we say 'never say never' - None of really know what's in store do they?  All I can say is that I have no regrets about moving over here, I still think my beloved Devon is God's country... but I reckon he had a second home in the Dordogne [Www]

It is easy to be seduced by TV programmes and also to read forums like these and get a very weird idea of France.. on the one had it's sold as cheap houses, wall to wall sunshine and the perfect place to be... on the other you'd be forgiven for thinking that everywhere was full of drunks/burglars/suicides/drugs, awful education system and a people that hate the english.  For us we found neither... it's not eutopia, it's a foreign country and there is a lot to learn, not least the language... but it does offer us a lifestyle that we could not have in the UK and for us it has worked.  I can see that it's not for everyone - but for us, for now, it's home.

p.s. Idum... what does your name mean or come from?  And why did you change?

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Rose, yes, the more french I knew, the realisation started to sink in that I was only half way up the foothills of a very big mountain, Mont Blanc for exampe[:-))]

I changed my name as I tried to log in and it wouldn't let me. So I started afresh and told the mods what I had done.

Idun is a viking name, found it hard to find a name and thought it would do.

 

Re the bad things, they are absolutely everywhere, may not be evident, but they really are everywhere, as are good folks too. Sometimes a person doesn't realise for quite some time, maybe many years and then it hits like a juggernaut when it affects your own life.

I also sounded like you about where we lived. Because in lots of ways it was a very good place to live. More assoc in our village than any other village roundabout. Nearby town. Nicely between two cities and an hour or so from some of the best skiing in the world. Even half decent sailing not too far. And yet, after 20 years, I had had enough of having to drive everywhere for a change and a poor public transport system. We had lived in a city when we first moved to France for 2 years, and I am glad we did and had that experience. I had to get out of the countryside. If in France it would have had to be a biggish town or city and in the end I needed the sea more than the mountains and it would probably have been a port town/city  in Brittany that would have been my first choice in France.

But the plan to leave had always been there and we did. Not perfect here, but I am fine apart from some of the problems from France that we still live with and probably always will, but if we had stayed in France they would have followed us, it wouldn't have changed some things. 

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Idum - I do agree that bad things are everywhere.  After Norman's newspaper link earlier I had a look at my old town's paper and it was also filled with a few horror stories.  I dont think there is a eutopia and wherever there are people, the problems and havoc they create will usually be found too.  However, just as there is a difference between Tottenham and Budleigh Salterton... I'm sure there's a difference between Paris and Montagrier.

I think what get's under my skin a little is the feeling that because I'm not seeing it, I must be naive or I've got tinted glasses or I'm blind to it... or that maybe I think France is like "a place in the sun" and maybe I only moved here because I saw it on the TV and thought that would be nice.  Now of course, I know you've not said that... really I do.  But there is an underlying feeling that folks like me are wrong because we dont write bad things.  It's difficult to explain, but I have to say it was that kind of sentiment that stopped me posting as much as I did.  It's important in life to have balance and to see things as they really are.  But seeing things as they really are doesn't mean only seeing the bad. 

It sometimes reminds me of the monty python sketch... my part of France is far worse than yours and my experiences were much tougher - I'm not sure how useful it is without some kind of balance.

Anyway - going back to what you actually said... yes, I also miss the sea and your reply reminded me of that.  Of all the things I miss, that is the thing that really pulls.  We have considered moving to be closer but we do feel settled here so I think we'll stay put.  I'm a country girl and I'm not sure I could live in a town.  I think about it and it has a certain appeal but I think I would get homesick for the countryside very quickly...horses for courses as they say.

And yes, public transport... buses are non-existant where we are (except in the cities).  Trains are great and good value.  Having said that, where we lived in Devon the buses are now limited to four a day and my friend told me last week that it's cheaper to get a taxi if there are two of you... but it would be nice to have the option over here.

When we were down near Perpignan we notices they had what seemed like a good bus service... was it all one journey for a euro?  It seemed good but I didn't check in any detail.

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[quote user="The Riff-Raff Element"]I corresponded with Tresco for a time, but she faded into the ether a while ago and I've no idea what became of her. Shame: she was a high quality human being.

[/quote]

Loved Tresco. I did correspond with her occasionally... an email from Tressy was always a very good read.

Loved SB / RG too... and she used to appear infrequently on another forum I was on till about a year ago. Loved Cassis' contributions... and Twinkle and Just Katie were a class double act. Am pleased to see 5-E is still around.

Others posting then but not now are no loss whatsoever to forumkind. [:P]

Anyway, I'm / we're still here. Things have worked out pretty much as we expected them to when we moved 7 years ago. We're running businesses. Making just about enough to live on. But happy with our lot. And when we're not, we'll do something else somewhere else.

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 [:)][:)] I think you'll find TU changed her name and still posts here !!!

 Yes, I used to enjoy SB's posts too...

I wish I could remember the name of the lady who lived in Normandy alone she had two daughters and several animals and seemed to depend on CAF - I think she went back to the Uk but her older daughter stayed in France with her partner and had a baby......

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Rose, our local buses (TIS) are like that.  If I stand in the road outside my house and stick my hand out (OK, only twice a day but we are in the middle of nowhere), I can get into Le Mans (40ks away) for 2€.  Or I can phone MobiTIS and they'll come to my door and even put my wheelchair on board.  Now that's what I call public transport.  [:)]
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[quote user="Russethouse"]

 [:)][:)] I think you'll find TU changed her name and still posts here !!!

 [/quote]

I found who TU was by re-reading the original thread; she was one of those I meant when I said I recognised some who are still around under different names!

We also have a good bus service - anywhere in the Gard (and some places beyond) for €1.50. Mind you, we do pay for it through our taxes!  [:D]

 

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