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idun
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After the post about the obese person's body being left to decompose......... I was wondering if anyone else will, or has sat down with their family and discussed arrangements and the cost of their wishes.

A good friend of mine lost her daughter two years ago. They had a huge funeral with a horse and carriage and she was buried. None of which this young, well in her forties, woman's family could afford and are still paying the debts incurred. They didn't know what she wanted, so her husband did a 'big' funeral.  So he, along with his teenage children struggles, he can no longer work as he was seriously injured in the same accident.

Doesn't seem fair on the kids really, well to me it doesn't.

 

I have told mine to get the cheapest box possible and take it to the crematorium. No service necessary, unless they feel the need, and then a good party and lots of good food. That is the way I want to be remembered, a good 'do'. And any music, well I've told my kids, 'Chop Suey'.  In fact I think I'll leave a note with the wills........... wills, another thing that too many people I know don't seem to do.  

 

I know one day or another I will die, I had imagined that when I got to my age, it would be something acceptable, but really, the honest truth is that it is unimagineable to me now as it was when I was 20......... and it is still the only the occurance in my life that 'will' happen.

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My father and I discussed this after my mother's death and he said the same as you.

It made things much easier when the time came, and I almost enjoyed the

strength it gave me in refusing the  emotional blackmail that the

funeral director attempted ( "Are you sure you wouldn't prefer.....etc")

I have said the same thing to my son.

I have made sure that I have 3  small policies that will more than cover

the costs, plus the costs of coming over and spending time arranging

affairs etc.

He knows where all the documents (including passwords saved in a family code) can be found when needed.

For those who expect to die in France there are certain complications, especially if you wish to be cremated.

I believe there is a sticky on this, but in any case I have recently exchanged IMs with another Forum member and we could put something together.

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My Dad made all his arrangements about a year after my mother died in 1990. All paid for, with a company which we generally refer to as 'funerals 'r'us'.  He is very happy with this and has all his paperwork in a plastic bag in a cupboard....... such are my Dad's usual filing systems. Maybe because he was so open, I am too.

I know how complicated it is in France to get buried, never mind cremated. My neighbour wanted his wife buried in Cannes, several Depts away and needed permission from each dept to take her body through that dept.

A list of crematoriums in France for those intereseted.

http://www.afif.asso.fr/francais/conseils/conseil17a.html

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I don't fear death, it's dying that I am less keen on. After the event I don't care what happens to anything left, I will hardly be in a position to complain if my wishes are ignored. The one thing I definitely don't want is one centime more than the absolute minimum to be spent on my last one-way ticket and hopefully Di has more sense anyway.

John

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[quote user="woolybanana"]Now listen you morbid lot, it is a delightful Sunday and I am feeling good so do we have to discuss this topic today? Can't we wait until a cold freezing day in January, svp? Besides, I have a seven year guarantee to outlive and, more important, my two doggies.[/quote]

Wooly, in freezing January I am usually so depressed that discussing funeral arrangements would push me over the edge.  However, I agree with Idun. No frills, just the simplest casket (cardboard?) and no flowers. I would leave word that in lieu of wreaths and all that nonsens, people planted trees.

I have a friend who went to basket making classes as she wanted to 'weave' her own casket.  How weird is that.[:-))]

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I never understood this, i knew a close relative who died recently, left no money for the funeral. the wife went overboard with the arrangements inviting people who he had not seen in years, and they could not stand each other for years, had the most terrible fights. Then asked everyone else to pay.What is the point in all that rigmorole when someone is gone at someone else's expense... guilt??? Show then when they are alive is what i say.
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[quote user="Théière"]http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Oread-Oak-Foil-Coffin-/290619527044?pt=UK_Home_Garden_Celebrations_Occasions_ET&hash=item43aa460f84

Two sold already! only 8 left  [/quote]

The part which made me smile is right at the bottom of the description:

"The coffin is delivered in a large box and the delivery driver will require assistance please"

Where do you store it ? In the garage, the garden shed ?

Sue [:)]

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[quote user="suein56"][quote user="Théière"]http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Oread-Oak-Foil-Coffin-/290619527044?pt=UK_Home_Garden_Celebrations_Occasions_ET&hash=item43aa460f84

Two sold already! only 8 left  [/quote]

The part which made me smile is right at the bottom of the description:

"The coffin is delivered in a large box and the delivery driver will require assistance please"

Where do you store it ? In the garage, the garden shed ?

Sue [:)]


[/quote]

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I can think of quite a few good uses for the "new design coffee table": somewhere to put your smelly socks when visitors arrive unexpectedly, a magazine storage "box", somewhere to keep the doggie treats in, the matches, the glasses, even the bino's if you so desire and many more, anyone else got some suggestions for use????

As you say Sue very accessible when the end is nigh, you can just put yourself in and await the event :) :)
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Funeral costs really chaff my chuff. When my mother died, my father specified a coffin that cost a 4-figure sum. Whats the bloody point in that? especially since it was getting burnt anyway. I (and my mother, I would have thought) would have preferred that money used to pay the tickets to allow members of the family to attend without causing them money problems.

For me, if it were allowed, I would have my carcass dragged into the woods and left for the animals. More realistically, a cardboard or chipboard coffin and into the flames with no fuss or ceremony......

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[quote user="dave21478"]Funeral costs really chaff my chuff.

More realistically, a cardboard or chipboard coffin and into the flames with no fuss or ceremony ....  [/quote]

Ahhh, but as Idun asks have you made these wishes known to whom-so-ever-needs-to-know ?

I have (ish) in that I have specified minimum costs and minimum fuss and the family can do what they think fit with what's left of me after death if it occurs in France. Though I have said if I am in the UK then I would like a scattering of my ashes where I can have a decent view of the sea ... is that still allowed ?

Sue

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[quote user="Théière"]

You'll probably get your wish Gem, cardboard, most are made from MDF with plastic brassed handles yuk!

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Oread-Oak-Foil-Coffin-/290619527044?pt=UK_Home_Garden_Celebrations_Occasions_ET&hash=item43aa460f84

Two sold already! only 8 left [:D]

[/quote]

I like the bit that says 'Returns accepted'

I read somewhere that burial is more eco friendly than cremation. Is that true? I think I'd prefer one of those woodland burials where you're buried in a cardboard coffin with a tree planted on top, but are there such things in France, and are they dearer than the cheapest send-off? (and is cremation still the cheapest?)

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. Barbara Cartland's coffin was cardboard, IF I remember properly.

 

I'm not keen on big coffee tables so I wouldn't have a coffin coffee table, but I must say that the willow ones do look nice. I think on An Idiot Abroad, there were chinese people making their coffins. So why not WB, you could make it as you wanted.

 

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The main thing I have told my friends and family is..... please don't "celebrate/worship/remember" the bit of ground where I died (especially if it was in a road accident). I'd much rather they remembered me in places where I "came alive".. a nice bench with a brass plate in a picturesque place, a sponsored seat in the theatre..... but if they even think of putting a tacky floral tribute at the roadside I will come back and haunt them. (If I die a hero they can put a huge great statue in that place, but that is the only exception!)

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My mum died last year and like Idun's father, she had a 'pre-paid' funeral. She'd stipulated, no black or hats and no fancy,expensive flowers. We did the no black and hats but couldn't stop friends and family buying flowers. One thing, as a family, we did was to have a willow coffin which looked really lovely - she'd have said ' what a waste'. We sent her on her way with a simple service at the crematorium followed by a party and a knee's up.
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An interesting thread, if less than joyful!

It reminds me of a conversation with my neighbour a few weeks ago. Don't remember how it came up, but the essence was that you could reserve a place in the Commune cemetary.  At a price, of course (extortionate, according to Michel).

However ........... if you didn't 'use' it within a certain number of years, then you lost the place and had to start again (subject to availability).

[:)][:)]

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[quote user="Gardian"]

An interesting thread, if less than joyful!

It reminds me of a conversation with my neighbour a few weeks ago. Don't remember how it came up, but the essence was that you could reserve a place in the Commune cemetary.  At a price, of course (extortionate, according to Michel).

However ........... if you didn't 'use' it within a certain number of years, then you lost the place and had to start again (subject to availability).

[:)][:)]

[/quote]

Gardian that is hilarious. So many of these posts have made me smile.

 

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