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Daves Christmas rant


dave21478
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The prices....oh my God, the prices! Im not the only one am I? Surely other people are seeing the upwards spiral of prices in the supermarket? Week on week, a few cents here, a few cents there, then at random something or other will have had a whole euro slapped on. Quality is as bad as ever....piles of fruit and veg rotting on the shelves, having to rummage to the back of the shelf to find expiry dates more than a couple of days away. The butter "shortage" was hilarious. Sad wee apologetic signs on the shelves blaming it on lack of stock, but strangely the milk, cream and other dairy products were as full as ever and suddenly the crisis was over and literally from one day to the next every different brand making every different type in all those different factories, using all those different supply routes managed to get stock onto the shelves on exactly the same day. Coincidence, I am sure.

I have given up totally on a nearby Carefour as the quantity of rat sh1t on the floor was getting just a little too high for my liking. If the bloody shop floor is like that, I wonder what state the warehouse is in?

Driving standards are getting worse and worse on a weekly basis too. Despite allegedly higher penalties I am seeing phone use INCREASING...seriously, drive though town and watch the oncoming drivers.... at least one in four will be on the phone.

Why though? Then I realised that I honestly cant remember the last time I saw cops anywhere....not patrolling, not manning a roadside check, not even just driving around getting somewhere.....I genuinely have not seen a police car or officer for months. This ties in with what I heard from someone who is married to a cozzer....apparently staffing levels are "critical" and if I knew the number of officers on shift overnight in a nearby city I would be frightened....When pressed, the answer is two. All night, for the whole city. Two.

Ah, Sunday....the day of rest, a relaxing day to catch up on a few things round the house, punctuated by the melodic sounds of braying dogs, shouting men and gunfire. I know hunting is a forum favourite, but things seem to have changed here. It used to be mostly older giffers....you would see a selection of C15 vans, maybe the odd R4 parked up at the roadside and the "hunting" seemed to consist more of standing around chatting. Now though....I dunno if there is a new club or something, but every Wednesday and Sunday there is a large number of guys in their twenties and thirties, all driving 4x4 pickups...you know the kind with the aggressive, macho model names like Trojan, Barbarian and Thunder, all kitted out with big knobbly tyres, lift kits, winches and too many spotlights. They tear along the middle of the road in a convoy and expect everyone else to get out their way on the narrow roads, spread out into the forest and start blasting away....not the pop pop pop of the old guys....God knows what kind of artillery they have but its deafening. I dont know why they bother (aside from playing Rambo, obviously) as with the noise they make there is likely nothing bigger than a mouse for 5 miles. I will be surprised if a person isnt shot by the end of the season.

I havent been to a dentist since....well, put it this way, last time I went I got a couple of hours off school and chained my bicycle to the railings outside the dental practice. All has been fine in the intervening decades but lately I have a tooth at the rear that is moving. Not loose, it just seems to move slightly every now and then, causing my "bite" to not fit together properly...its a very strange sensation. Obviously, having left it so long, I cant admit defeat and go to a dentist now....I wouldnt even know how to for a start, and secondly, it would likely precipitate much tutting and a huge amount of "vital" other work. Might be a job for vodka and pliers in the bathroom mirror.

Its raining? snowing, even? Well, isnt that a MASSIVE surprise in December? Better spend endless days talking about it on the streets, on the telly, all over the internet....Newsflash...wintry weather occurs in winter. Get over it and shut up.

The little hamlet I live in has had a population cull with two guys dying of heart attacks and one suffering some kind of episode thats landed him in the old folks home. Its funny...the two that died were the two least liked by everybody else....always being badmouthed by the other residents and silly feuds occasionally spilling over into shouting in the street and occasional push-me-shove-you fisticuffs. After each death the outpouring of faux grief in public was interesting as I am absolutely certain that behind closed doors the sentiments were more likely "good riddance."

The mental case at the end of the village (no, not me) dismantled his car months ago after it broke down. It probably needed new spark plugs or something, but his solution was to strip it literally to a bare shell on his driveway. I guess he has finally admitted defeat as he spent a few evenings last week using a wee angle grinder to cut it up into four quarters which are now piled by the side of the road. Apparently the scrappy wont come to collect it as its not enough metal to be worth the journey and the nutter has no money to pay them. He removed the stairs from his house recently and burned them in the driveway. He now accesses the second floor via a ladder. Well, when i say "his" house, he rents it.....thats going to be a fun one for the landlord as he has previously ripped out and burned all the kitchen units and has ripped out most of the electrical wiring too. The guy needs help....a carer...something, but nothing ever comes of inquiries.

My printer died. The new one is wifi enabled. Fantastic. Except that the eighteen inches between it, the computer and the modem seem to be insurmountable. wires it is, then. Technology can FRO.

Speaking of technology, the next town over was supposed to have fibre internet installed for the start of summer. Obviously, that deadline is blown, but last month they got a sudden hurry on and for a week the road out of the town was clogged by Orange or Sedtel or whatever they call themselves this month putting up poles. Apparently its too expensive to bury the cable...fibre...whatever. Anyway, no traffic control, they would just block the road as they saw fit as they put in the poles, leaving you waiting for up to fifteen minutes at a time. they then strung the cable....and gave up half way. Literally. The cable is done for a mile or two, then just droops down to the ground and the big spool is lying in the ditch. Been like that ever since. Great job, guys.

whether a speed improvement would reach this hamlet, I dont know. It wasnt/isnt full fibre they are installing, just fibre to the exchange then copper to each house as before, but even this gives a reasonable increase, but I think I am too far away to feel a benefit.

Oh and speaking of failed public works, EDF or Engie or whatever they are calling themselves this month decided that a nearby transformer needed moved by a few hundred meters. They turned up and spent a week digging up the road, laying trunking and causing chaos and....have given up too. Just stopped all works, leaving open holes now filled with water with some plastic barriers scattered around.

If i wanted to watch people badly half-assing their job, I would fit a mirror in my own garage.

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LOL Dave.

BTW, our Carrefour is really good. Well apart from the birds. I think the number of birds in supermarkets have got worse this year.

I have Tippi Hedren moments when buying pasta ?

What is it with birds and French supermarkets ? They flock and follow you about when shopping. Chirping and fluttering their wings. It is all very scary.

I bet they don't mention that on 'a place in the sun'.

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[quote user="woolybanana"]There was an ostrich in the supermrket the other day! Big bird it was, scrawny, big erse, tiny head, long neck with jewelled collar...... spoke with a hiss from a great height, could see right up its nose.[/quote]

Sounds like the normal help desk staff to me.

"help" desk - total misnomer.

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[quote user="alittlebitfrench"]LOL Dave.

BTW, our Carrefour is really good. Well apart from the birds. I think the number of birds in supermarkets have got worse this year.

I have Tippi Hedren moments when buying pasta ?

What is it with birds and French supermarkets ? They flock and follow you about when shopping. Chirping and fluttering their wings. It is all very scary.

I bet they don't mention that on 'a place in the sun'.[/quote]

Nothing like a bit of birdsh1t on the produce to improve your shopping experience.

When I worked in retail in the UK a bird got in the store once and caused full on panic stations for the manager until one of the mechanics frisbeed an old brake disc and scored a direct and fatal hit on the bird while it was perched on a shelf.

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Well observed Dave, I think all of those boxes can be ticked. But...... if everything was perfect, we wouldn't get chance to read the rant.

Here's another.... Refuse collections. 75 Euros a year for three collections, and the joy of walking each of the 25 "free" plastic sacks - you can imagine the drips - down to the locked Wheelie bin in the old school yard. If I lose my key, my first-born will be taken. Obviously this last crisis has befallen one of the neighbours, who has - under cover of darkness - subjected the lock to crow-bar fatigue. But the fact remains: some numpty somewhere in the prefecture, has convinced some other numpty that this whole idea would be good value for money, and fully supported by the plebs. Cue increase in rubbish dumped in forest lay-bys, and silenced crow bar purchases. Ar5e wipes!!

Happy Christmas all.
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My rant is French banques, yes all of them probably, I am on my 3rd now and will have to find a 4th, every one either steals my money or loses it or pays it into someone elses account probably a family member.

 

I was with the same bank in the UK since the age of 16 and never had a single problem, begrudgingly had to close the account as I was no longer using it, had a Nationwide Flex account since the age of 24 and still using it, never any problems, 2 different Lloyds business accounts never ever a penny went astray.

 

The Credit agricole were offended that i insisted on paying in my monthly cash takings over the counter and outraged that I suggested that they counted in on the counter where we could both see it and not hidden underneath, they finally insisted that I had to use use the borne automatique, it was completely secure, the cash counting was recorded by CCTV etc, all lies, on my second deposit using the borne they stole a €50 note, told me it was impossible, I had made the mistake etc, true we all will make a mistake one day but I hadn't with cash in 45 years, easy said I lets look at the CCTV recording at which point they said the banque had no cameras despite the lobby being filled with them.

 

Then a couple of weeks later my statement showed €500 being deducted, just shrugged shoulders in the branch, they did not know what it was and did not care, expected me to go away like anyone else, after insistence and a 3 week wait I found that a cheque that I had paid in was allegedly not in my name except I had a photocopy of it, then all sorts of cover ups, I spoke to my tenant and his banque had paid out on the cheque, the money had been paid into someone elses account, they tried saying that I hadn't paid it in but they had initially creditted it to my account, took them another month to recredit me with my funds.

 

So a change to La Banque Postale and they are an equally useless shower of sh1te, never anyone at the guichet, they are always outside smoking or selling someone a mobile phone contract, they dont know anything anyway and have no authority, I have to phone my conseilleur who never answers or responds to messages, to see her I have to go in and ask for a meeting which they will try their hardest to say they cannot arrange, I have to call her, I can see her shadow in her office so insist they speak to her at which point they can suddenly arrange a RDV in quinze jours.

 

Then I discovered that I could do all that I needed at my village La Poste where the new staff are very serviable, paid in 3 cheques 7th totalling €1625 on the 7th of this month, took 2 weeks for the deposit to show on my account at which point it was backdated to the 12th, trouble was it was for only €1100 which corresponds to 2 of the cheques, no letter or anything to say that one has bounced, a cash deposit paid in on the 9th also took 2 weeks to show on my account, my balance showing during that time was €1600 less than the balance printed on the reciept they gave me for the cash deposit.

 

I gave my village La Poste a try this morning but as expected they could not help me, they said that La Banque Postale in town would not either, tellingly it was a would not (wan to be bothered) rather than a could not and that I should ring Lille direct on 3639, tried that and was on hold listening to musack for 30 minutes at 15cts per minute.

 

So having gone through 2 "proper" banque I am now with a bank that is not a banque, that takes 2 weeks to credit any deposits, that loses cheques and/or does not communicate when there is a problem with one, who wont help you in person and who wont answer their phones and I have to pay them for the priveledge, I might as well go with an on line banque but for the impossibility of paying in cash and having no faith in sending cheques to them, if they are capable of losing cheques that a branch has already given a reciept for what hope do I have they would treat the ones I send in as anything than an another annoying piece of paper to throw in the bin.

 

That reminds me, at 18 I had a National Girobank account for my weekend and evening car repair business, I posted them hundreds of cheques over several years without a single hitch.

 

Its going to have to be cash under the mattress, credit card payments or virements from now on.

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