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Help, car crash, death - what now?


videfleur
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A friend of ours has just been killed in a car crash, tonight. We are the only people who knew him before he came to France. What happens now? We are trying to get intouch with his sisters, but dont know what to do about funerals etc. We identified him at the scene and have been asked to collect his belongings tomorrow. But dont know what to do now.

 

Jane

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Thanks, the mayor said he would help all he can. But its more about bank accounts etc. Funeral, dont know anything about them in France. He didnt really have any money so Im not sure how its going to be paid for etc. Will probably have a more clear head in the mornig.

 

Jane

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How awful for you, Jane.  This must be a terribly traumatic experience.

I had to deal with an unexpected death in France, when my sister-in-law was staying with me, with *her* French-Canadian mum too.  And the mother died. 

The French do expect to have the funeral quite soon - usually within about three days.  I think we made it about 6 days later, as the family had to come from Canada.  And we had to liaise with them to decide whether it should be a cremation or not.  Fortunately they decided on that.  It certainly made everything much easier about taking their mother's ashes back to Canada for a memorial service and burial in a family grave.  It would have been incredibly expensive to have opted to take the body back.

The undertaker was very helpful.  He had caskets ready for the ashes, all labelled with little plaques, that they picked up later the same day of the cremation.

If you don't want a religious service, you really do have to decide on music, and whether anybody is going to do a little talk etc, otherwise nothing much will happen in the way of ceremony.

I don't know what you do about your friend's finances though, if you are not executors.  I hope you can manage to get hold of some relatives.  Do you know if he left a will anywhere?

Angela

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Hi Jane

I went through this last year when 4 friends were killed in an accident who I had to identify an hour after they left our house.

British Consulate is the first port of call, if there is a sub-Consul in your area, they should deal with things.  They will find and speak to the family, it's not something that you have to do nor should you unless you know them well, the UK government have people trained in this sort of thing.

You cannot assume that the funeral will take place anytime soon.  The French state may want to put a hold on the body or inhumation, depends on the circumstances of the accident.  If there is any question of legal proceedings, the body may have to be temporarily interred or stored and anyway, there will need to be some sort of check of the body by a medic which means the etat-civil may not happen too quickly, no death certificate, no burial.

Do NOT be told that the death has to be registered in Paris at the Embassy - that is NOT true and Brit insurance etc organisations have to take French death certificates now.

The bank account and his finances are, with respect, nothing to do with you at this stage - they are his family's responsibility (if he has one) and the copies of the etat-civil will be released to them when they are traced.

If he does not have the assets for burial or cremation in France, then the British Consulate/Embassy have funds to facilitate that and they also have the funds to repatriate the body should his family wish that course of action.

Sorry to sound so hard nosed at a time of your loss but without the Consulate you could face a long and difficult process - the only reason that I was so involved was that as an ex-cop, the Consulate told the Mairie and Gendarmes that I was ok to deal with it and that's how come I got the experience of dealing with this stuff.

I'd be happy to chat on the phone if you want to, email me privately and we can arrange something.

And I am so sorry for your loss, I really do understand how you feel.

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Videfleur, so sorry to hear about the accident, it must be a terrible shock for you, hopefully this morning will give you the strength to carry out what needs to be done.

 

Tony - thanks for such an informative post, it's something I hope I never have to be involved in, but this is one to print off and keep, just in case, god forbid. [:(]

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A big thank you to Tony for his help. We have had two days of hell and things are very different over here for sorting out funerals. All I can say is if you havent thought about it before now, please do. Its not a subject people like to think about but it happens and someone has to sort things out after you have gone. You have a five day limit in which you have to have the funeral, otherwise there is another load of paperwork to think about.

There are a lot of other things but Im too close to it at the moment to go into

 

Jane

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  • 11 months later...

XXXX XXX XX XXXXX XXXXXwas found guilty of causing the death of our friend, in a car crash whilst driving on the wrong side of the road. He had drunk four lagers, he said.

 

He received a five month suspended jail term after being convicted in his absence at a court in Argentan and a 500 euro fine. He has 10 days to appeal.

 

We were witnessess, we gave statements, we were ignored. We were not told of the court hearing. I am so cross with the French system. It seems to me that if you pretend not to speak French you can get away with murder and this has proved it to me. I am at a loss for words, I just hope that the scene of the crash stays with XXXXX XXX everyday for the rest of his life.

 

Jane

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RH, for the record, I think you are wrong on this one.  It is not naming and shaming as this has already been reported in the media.  Censorship of this type is very dangerous. 

So what do I have to do to report this type of censorship, could you explain the process please. I am not being awkward here and do not wish to score points with you and it is not personal.

Thank you.

Deby

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Thanks everyone for your comments. This forum was the first place I turned after the crash and I wanted to let you all know what had happened. We have had  a hell of a year as a result of the crash, dealing with French authority and this guy seems to have walked free. I havent the strength to start a fight with admin, Ill just let him win again.

Jane

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Hi Jane

I'm absolutely stunned at the leniency of the sentence.  A Brit round here who pleaded guilty to drunk driving, again a builder working on the black, in July 2006 and who kiiled two women, one of whom was pregnant, got 4 years and then only because he pleaded guilty.

And the driver in your friend's case didn't even go to Court - it really is a disgrace and I can only sympathise.  Hopefully your friend's sister is getting into the civil side of the case tho the driver's defence seems to have already swayed the Court.  And if it hasn't happened yet, she could use the UK inquest/coroner to return a better verdict on the cause of death, it wont get the guy reconvicted but may help her feel a bit better. 

And thanks for the kind words, pleased I could help - if it's any consolation, the case I'm involved in has yet to go to the Tribunal (accident happened June 2006) tho a new judge seems to be kicking things into life at long last.  We need to put all this behind us but can't with this is hanging over us all the time both here in France and in the Uk for the Inquest.

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Totally and absolutely amazing sentence. I note in the newspaper article that he said 'I think he had no lights on'. What a feeble excuse - obviously 'blind' drunk.

I thought leniency in the UK was bad but it seems that the French have turned it in to an art form. His failure to turn up should have counted against him (or is it reflected in the sentence!).

Paul

In defence of RH she has a job to do as per the forums rules - but it does seem strange, here is someone who has been convicted yet there is a certain airline that seems to get a lot of naming on this site with the posts seemingly shaming it but it has not yet been convicted.

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I erred on the side of caution, but if you have a problem with that decision please feel free to contact admin. However discussing the administration of the forum is also against the Code of Conduct :

Comments or questions regarding the general administration of the forum should be made by "private message" or using the "Report" link to the moderators or direct to Forum Admin. Such comments or questions should not be posted in the open forum

 

Sorry !

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vidfleur- if this is the accident you are talking about, then we  moved into the next village last summer and were told about it by the locals.

One of the shops handed us a sticker in English to put inside the car to remind us to drive on the right.

It must have shaken them up quite a bit to go out and get them .

I'm very sorry for you- must have been awful.

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[quote user="Russethouse"]

vide fleur,

 I am really sorry but I'm afraid that 'naming and shaming' is against the forum code of conduct so I have edited your post accordingly.

[/quote]

 

I think that you should review your decision.

Making a statement about the results of due legal process which is now in the public domain is NOT naming and shaming.

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Well for what it's worth, we are still fighting the elderly, deaf, French tractor driver who caused such a serious accident involving my husband and 13 year old son in May 2007. He has never been brought to justice even though he left the scene of the accident by driving off. We are STILL seeking compensation. We found out a good while ago that he had been drinking alcohol in the local cafe that morning prior to the accident...and the accident occurred at 8.49am! Why is it that one cannot buy a meal in a French cafe before the usual 'serving' times but one can imbibe alcohol from the earliest hours of the day here?

French law is an ass/arse/whatever word you want to use.

We are not letting him get away with it even though it is costing us. He is going to pay in the long run, that much we know. His actions cost us thousands in the months afterwards, not to mention the fact that it was a miracle my husband and child were not killed.

I can understand you being pissed with the French system. It works in favour of the French.

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