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[quote user="virginia"]Come with a positive state of mind. i hate English ex-pats who spend all their time moaning about the French system. If they are not happy why don't they move back! Yes there are always some problems, but very few that cannot be overcome. My husband died 6 months after moving here, and it was horrendous, perhaps the worst thing that could have happened,but I moved forward, and have never regretted making the decision to stay here.
Virginia
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Not all forum members have 20/20 like me.[Www]

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[quote user="virginia"]Come with a positive state of mind. i hate English ex-pats who spend all their time moaning about the French system. If they are not happy why don't they move back! Yes there are always some problems, but very few that cannot be overcome. My husband died 6 months after moving here, and it was horrendous, perhaps the worst thing that could have happened,but I moved forward, and have never regretted making the decision to stay here.

Virginia

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Virginia,

Well done - what an excellent posting.  Attitude is everything - it can make the difference between enjoying and staying, and being resistant, and going back (for all other reasons but money, being excluded).

My pennorth - for what it's worth.

Learn the language and use it as much as possible (joining organisations of like interest helps this along greatly, as well as getting you established in the locality).  Make friends as much as possible outside the ex-pat community (though you will find you will need some english -speaking friends just to keep you sane at times, and they've been there before you, so can give advise (usually OK, but be beware of the ex-pat mentality causing errors!)

Don't worry unduly about French bureaucracy - expect the worse, allow plenty of time - expect to wait, go back again, get two separate and different answers, don't give up, go back again, do not turn up 5 minutes before closing ....

Use the advice on here, usually invaluable.

Keeping a bank account in the UK - invaluable advice already given.

Healthcare - one of the reasons we waited until retirement to come.  Warnings on working here and its impact on pension and healthcare options are valid and should be researched well, this can make or break.  Once here, we have found costs of healthcare so far (we do not have a top-up mutelle) acceptable, except for dental and optical needs, which are generally higher than the UK (even compared with private dental work in the UK).  You can buy medicines here over the counter which are restricted in the UK, which can be useful.

That's all for now!

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Welcome, we have been here since the end of last year and are early retirees. We now have a French registered car and our Carte Vitales, for our health. Am still trying to sort out our top up insurance.

Learning French is sooo important to getting help and advice. In our village there are a lot of Brits, Dutch, Belgians and French, even a Portuguese! But we all talk with each other, tell each other what is what and have learnt soo much how things are done and how they are not done!

Make sure you mix with your neighbours, it's the quickest way to learn the language and our neighbours are aware that many Brits do not speak the language or mix and can't understand why they live in a country where they can't speak to other people.

We have to find full health care as from the end of the year when our S1 runs out, so we are looking now - things don't often happen that quickly in France.

Apart from that, enjoy your life and good luck to you! x
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If you are entitled to a private employer or personal pension and are planning to take advantage of the UK tax free cash lump sum withdrawal option available to those 55 years or older, make sure that you do it before you become French resident, as new French tax rules introduced last month will tax this as income on an aggregate basis!
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Try and make sure you both learn French to the same level, if possible.  We moved here 9 years ago and as I already had better French than my OH I was the one who coped with all the admin etc.  and made social contact with neighbours.  My French improved at a rate of knots whilst OH began to rely on me and after a couple of years he began saying "I'll never learn French", "it's too hard", "I just can't remember words" etc.

I joined a choir, made French friends and bit by bit our life set off on parallel lines.  So - beware!  The French dream may work out better for one of you than the other, and it is definitely linked to the ability to speak the language.  Since we've made the decision to return to the UK we're back on the same wavelength and enjoying the whole project of finding a house, coping with the move.

Don't want to pour cold water on your dreams - and please don't think that we haven't enjoyed ourselves.  We've had a great time and will go "home" with wonderful memories.  Just be aware that there are hidden problems that you may not have thought of.

Mrs Hoggie

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Don't mean to sound rude, but, in my opinion, if you stop to ponder on hidden problems, you wouldn't do anything with your lives! There are hidden problems in all walks of life, eg who would ever have kids if we stopped to think about the hidden problems lol!

In our experience, having lived in France perm. for nearly 10yrs now and bringing over our youngest at 10yrs old, on the whole, I think we've settled well.

Like Mrs Hoggie, on arrival, I had some school French and my husband had zilch. Hubby still hasn't learnt French, prob due to a combination of lack of interest, not being academic, etc and leaves all the admin, etc to me, although he has picked up a limited understanding and can now say a few basic things. The only thing he says he misses is to be able to have a conversation with some of the old French guys in the pub! Obviously not enough to make him do anything to change that but then I think, there prob aren't many ordinary folk of our older age who would be able to learn French from scratch to such a high standard.

After saying all that, we both do mix with French friends and they seem to be very forgiving and we manage to enjoy ourselves with them, over a few glasses of wine!

One of the main things, which has already been mentioned, is to have your health cover and your finances sorted before you make the move. During the time we've been here, we've seen many Brits around us having to move back to the UK, due to running out of funds (some having taken out a mortgage on the strength of their UK wages and then moving over here with no way of finding the money to keep up their payments!) and also lack of healthcare cover. This applies especially to people under state pension age, which we were on arrival. However, we had planned ahead and are happy to live modestly (the old saying of taking care of the pennies...springs to mind.. and also asking ourselves if we really need something before making the decision to buy).

We still have the old car we brought over 10yrs ago, grow a lot of our own veg, make eating out a treat instead of the norm and have become a dab hand at darning socks, etc. Also, hubby being a dab hand at maintaining our house, helps! All of which might not appeal to everyone but we now actually enjoy the challenge!

Anyway, sorry, didn't mean to go on so much!

Enjoy your life in France and be happy!

Bon courage!

Anna
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Anna, pondering the hidden problems is just sensible planning, as to avoid the mistakes made by others is one of the reasons many members join this forum to ask questions from those who have made the move.

The fact remains that most Brits who do move to France, end up leaving for one reason or another and for Brits planning the move it is valuable to understand the reasons why.

Not all spouses would be as tolerant as you, if their other half had still to learn the language and had to totally rely on them to do all the admin for ten years!
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Sprogster, I think and hope that I made my point, which was not to criticize anyone's reasons for joining this forum and their need to ask questions.

I've been a member of the Forum pretty much since it's beginning. This forum is amazing and I have always been grateful to those members who have taken time to answer my questions.

The main stumbling blocks of making the move to France had already been pointed out and I did re-iterate those.

I just wanted to point out that I don't see the need for getting all uptight and stressed out about looking for "hidden problems".

Also wanted to point out that if one struggles with the language, that prospect shouldn't put anyone off going ahead with living their dream in France. There's really no need to feel a failure and what would you do if you found that one half struggled with it....nag?, give up and return to the UK?

Don't think I'm tolerant at all, think he's tolerant for not making it a big issue! Not everyone can get to grips with learning a foreign language to a high standard. Besides, admin was never his forte in the UK so why would it be any different here?

The fact is that some people have better practical skills than acedemic skills. After all, it wouldn't do if we were all academics and there were no tradesmen! He has other skills...eg our car, house, pool and garden maintenance so he more than pulls his weight!

If truth be told, I think many of us will probably be in this situation and are happy enough to settle for the "get by in French" level.

We have never regretted our move and love living in France. Our youngest daughter has gone through the school system here, integrated well, is now an apprentice hairdresser and loves it here too.
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Since day one we were together my husband has never ever done any domestic admin. He has the jobs he is good at and I have mine and this is definitely mine.

Me, I wouldn't in a million years ever move to a country as I was getting older where I didn't speak the language. Being self aware, I knew that learning another language would be problematic for me even at a young age, but I had a sporting chance of getting to grips at a young age, and I did. Hard work, but as far as I am concerned essential. I am enraged by anyone who does not learn the language in the country where they chose to live. And I saw enough of that in France, no, not from brits, no brits really where I lived, apart from us.

You made me smile Anna, with your 'get by in French level'. That covers a multitude of sins from someone being able to actually get by and chat to some gonflé people who actually don't even understand the simplest of things but like to say that they do.

So yes, learn the language. It means being equipped to deal with everyday living. The rest then can sort itself out.
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