Collywobble Posted February 16, 2007 Author Share Posted February 16, 2007 [quote user="Coco"]We've also experienced it with our French B&B guests. The Brits seem to accept that running a B&B is what we do but the French still ask what Monsieur does.[/quote]But they never grew up watching Basil Faulty. Or if they did, they may have thought the down trodded husband was just another exaggeratedly surreal aspect of the show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lori Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 My French friends have never asked what my husband does for a living. They know I don't work as they are my friends, so they know me. I've discussed my husband's work with some of them as it was part of current events at the time. I'm sure many of them are extremely curious, they've just never asked. I like that about the French.I have to add, and perhaps you'll all laugh, it is my British friends who seem to ask the ever so personal questions, including how much did you pay for your house, how much do you earn, what do you do for a living, is this your first and only marriage, etc., etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Animal Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 Absolutely, Lori, the Americans too. It became a private joke with our American friends "what is the industry", as he was always asking everyone what industry they were in or asking us what someone did. If you sit next to an American on a plane at the end of the flight he will know all about you and then you will never see him again. If you sit next to a French person on a plane, he will probably never ask you anything.It's discretion, they will never ask you anything personal, but wait until you may say it yourself during a conversation. Whereas my American friend said she felt she should ask people these things as otherwise it seemed she was not showing any interest in them, to be friendly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 [quote user="Tresco"]......Straight on to 'What sort of music do you like?', then......[/quote] A couple of months before I was married, I remember being at a party with my OH and his parents at their 'neighbours'. One of those evenings where this young French lady who was about to marry one of the local squires had to meet the 'neighbours'. Read that as the place was about 20 miles further than next door but the people were of my parents-in-law's social/political circle. During the evening, the lady of the house asked me : 'Are you musical?' [8-)]... My english was still not that perfect and very diluted with a strong french accent, my husband could see that I was at pain to answer the question as my taste in music were very much further than what was on offer at that party... Couldn't see Janis Jopplin, Crosby Stills Nash & Young a topic of conversation when the background music in that room was Mozart!... Anyway quick as a flash he replied for me : 'Only when she eats baked beans!' Until that very moment I had not been so [:$] embarrassed in my life!.... The lady's bottom jaw was ready for the butler to sweep off the precious persian carpet. Quickly getting over my surprise I turned around to OH who was sporting the largest grin [6] ever and winking at me that I discretely left the room for a monstrous attack of the giggles!.....Still waiting for an other invitation to that house .... [:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 [quote user="Christine Animal"] .......It's discretion, they will never ask you anything personal, but wait until you may say it yourself during a conversation. Whereas my American friend said she felt she should ask people these things as otherwise it seemed she was not showing any interest in them, to be friendly. [/quote] Discretion..... That's a concept that my M-I-L was always at pain to tell me off about.... Whenever I had to go out with OH and his parents to these kinds of drinks party, she was for ever asking on the return home : These people you spoke to, what do they do?.... My answer was : [8-)]Dunno! ... Her : Well aren't you interested in them?... Me : Yes I was, but we talked about a lot of other things... Her : You Must ask what do they do for a living!... Me :[8-)] ...really?... Her : Yes, it shows to them that you are interested in them and they will invite you again.... My dear F-I-L would be such a gentleman in these cases and gently tell his wife that it really didn't matter and that perhaps discretion was the better part....Well ... of all these parties I have been to, the most memorable ones are those where I never asked 'What do they do' and where I have made good friendships with the people and been invited again and again.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lori Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 Funny Christine - yes Americans are known the world round for their abruptness. I was raised never to ask such personal questions of people. My mother taught me it was rude. I still go with that.I have always said that one of the things I like about the French people I have come to know is their respect for other people's privacy. I'm sure there are exceptions to the rule, but luckily for me, I have not come across any.Missy - you must have gotten a real laugh out of your MIL. Your in-laws sound like really funny folks - I mean that in a nice way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teamedup Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 [quote user="Missy"] [quote user="Tresco"]......Straight on to 'What sort of music do you like?', then......[/quote] A couple of months before I was married, I remember being at a party with my OH and his parents at their 'neighbours'. One of those evenings where this young French lady who was about to marry one of the local squires had to meet the 'neighbours'. Read that as the place was about 20 miles further than next door but the people were of my parents-in-law's social/political circle. During the evening, the lady of the house asked me : 'Are you musical?' [8-)]... My english was still not that perfect and very diluted with a strong french accent, my husband could see that I was at pain to answer the question as my taste in music were very much further than what was on offer at that party... Couldn't see Janis Jopplin, Crosby Stills Nash & Young a topic of conversation when the background music in that room was Mozart!... Anyway quick as a flash he replied for me : 'Only when she eats baked beans!' Until that very moment I had not been so [:$] embarrassed in my life!.... The lady's bottom jaw was ready for the butler to sweep off the precious persian carpet. Quickly getting over my surprise I turned around to OH who was sporting the largest grin [6] ever and winking at me that I discretely left the room for a monstrous attack of the giggles!.....Still waiting for an other invitation to that house .... [:D] [/quote] I do hope that you husband has kept that naughty sense of humour. What a wonderful reply to a very odd question to ask a stranger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Collywobble Posted February 16, 2007 Author Share Posted February 16, 2007 So basically the jury is still out (for me), but it would be prudent, in my opinion anyway, to perhaps wait until I knew people before asking, as if I do alienate everyone in my village by asking what they all do, I might be very lonely.[:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerise Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 Ask away Collywobble. Just be you . Whenever I ask questions that are obviousl 'not done' I just shrug, smile and do the Boffff thing myself. I'm so wierd because I let my husband hang the washing out and once our neighbour caught him pushing the hoover round. I've had loads of different jobs. I'm dead curious - so like to know all about people. I DON'T LIKE accordion music and I HATE loto. I walk my big dogs round on leads. I don't care about polishing my windows and I drink red wine as an aperitif and café crème after dinner. I'm so wierd in fact, that they all want to keep in with me, because it's always nice to have someone really strange to talk about after the party!![:D][:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Collywobble Posted February 16, 2007 Author Share Posted February 16, 2007 [quote user="Cerise"]Ask away Collywobble. Just be you . Whenever I ask questions that are obviousl 'not done' I just shrug, smile and do the Boffff thing myself. I'm so wierd because I let my husband hang the washing out and once our neighbour caught him pushing the hoover round. I've had loads of different jobs. I'm dead curious - so like to know all about people. I DON'T LIKE accordion music and I HATE loto. I walk my big dogs round on leads. I don't care about polishing my windows and I drink red wine as an aperitif and café crème after dinner. I'm so wierd in fact, that they all want to keep in with me, because it's always nice to have someone really strange to talk about after the party!![:D][:D][/quote]Cerise, remember that if you have enough money, you cease to be weird and become endearingly eccentric [:)] So I guess that puts me at the other end of the scale, i.e. deranged [8-)] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chancer Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 [quote user="Ron Avery"][quote user="J.R."] Most french people that I meet ask me what I do for a living.[/quote] You sure they are French? This is the last question most French ask, they may ask if you are married, if you have a family or where you live but asking what you do for a living is just not the norm when meeting French people fotr the first time. It is very much an English trait which seeks to pigeon hole the person above or below the standing of the other person based on the outdated class system in the UK.[/quote] Yes Ron I am quite certain that they were French, there are very few other nationalities around my neck of the woods!I am frequently asked but I think it is a veiled question as to "how do you support yourself?"People around here never change careers and very few have travelled so they are curious as to how an "etranger" 25 years short of retirement age could buy a property and spend his time working on it.I once took my neighbours and some other friends to England for a weekend to visit the sights in London, we live an hour and a half from the channel ports, it was the first time that any of the had been abroad and for one couple the first time on a boat.One comment really showed me the difference in peoples outlook, I was chatting with a youngish 30's lady and said that I travelled around the world before coming to France, she asked me in all seriousness and with a straight face if I was a lorry driver? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hastobe Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 [quote user="Ron Avery"][quote user="J.R."]Most french people that I meet ask me what I do for a living.[/quote] It is very much an English trait which seeks to pigeon hole the person above or below the standing of the other person based on the outdated class system in the UK.[/quote]Seems a logical thing to ask to me - after all as you spend most of your waking hours at work its a pretty important part of your life.Kathie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teamedup Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 It is very much an English trait which seeks to pigeon hole the person above or below the standing of the other person based on the outdated class system in the UK. ROFLPMP with that, like where one stands in the pecking order isn't important. Very funny that, amused me no end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clair Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 for clarification (I had to look it up!)ROFLPMP = Rolling On the Floor, Pissing/Peeing My Pants Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Collywobble Posted February 17, 2007 Author Share Posted February 17, 2007 I’m defintely not interested in class structureand personally I don't mind being asked. I am genuinely interested inpeople and what makes them tick. Talking about football, religion, politics etc can be a bitboring. Well maybe not boring, but repetitive. Also, sometimes (but notoften) people have or previously had interestingjobs, or simply, intersting storiesabout their work. We must all have one or two tell, surely. For example, a friend of minewas doing some work in a clients loft. When he was finished, the clients askedhim what the problem was. He needed to explain that their teenage children’ssunlamps – for the hemp plants, of course – were causing an electrical problem.Apparently the parents went ballistic [;)]Stories like that are great.Most people have at least one .Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Like I say, bugger all to do with pigeon holing folk. cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted February 18, 2007 Share Posted February 18, 2007 It struck me through this thread that, there we are, mostly British and a few other nationalities and moi [:$], and none have come forth in the conversation with the question : What do you do?.. Why? Because none of us are interested in the least at pigeon holing each other. What is of interest to us is our experience of life, travel etc... So you could consider yourselves French for not raising the question![:D]OK for some of us, we know what give them their daily bread and poison but that has only come through in the forum to relate anecdotes of their experiences of whatever subject it is that we want to know about and for others we can guess and make a wholly big whopper of a misguess! [:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Collywobble Posted February 19, 2007 Author Share Posted February 19, 2007 Missy, thats an interesting slant on it.[:)] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoddy Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 I once asked a man at a party what he did for a living and he replied, "I married a Thornton's chocolate."Hoddy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Collywobble Posted February 19, 2007 Author Share Posted February 19, 2007 [quote user="Hoddy"]I once asked a man at a party what he did for a living and he replied, "I married a Thornton's chocolate."Hoddy[/quote]OK, I'll 'bite' [;-)] Huh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoddy Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 Thornton's started off in these parts as a small local firm. He'd married one of the daughters. Sorry, I didn't think I was being obscure.Hoddy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Collywobble Posted February 19, 2007 Author Share Posted February 19, 2007 [quote user="Hoddy"]Thornton's started off in these parts as a small local firm. He'd married one of the daughters. Sorry, I didn't think I was being obscure.Hoddy[/quote]I thought that was what you meant, but I didn't want to miss out on some esoteric pun.[:)]CheersPS Does she have an available Sister?[:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 [quote user="Hoddy"]I once asked a man at a party what he did for a living and he replied, "I married a Thornton's chocolate." [/quote] What a waste of a good chocolate! [:D] Men don't like chocolate .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoddy Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Collywobble, I don't know if she had a sister, I suspect that if she did they would be out of your age bracket.Hoddy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Collywobble Posted February 20, 2007 Author Share Posted February 20, 2007 [quote user="Hoddy"]Collywobble, I don't know if she had a sister, I suspect that if she did they would be out of your age bracket.Hoddy[/quote]Hoddy, Yeah, I was afraid that might be the case, given the fact that the company was founded in1911.....I wonder if they are in the market to adopt.?[:D]cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patmobile Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Apparently, when quite new in the Prime Ministerial job, Tony Blair asked a charming, and somehow familiar-looking lady, whom he met at reception at a European summit of some kind, what job she was now doing."Oh, I'm still the Queen of the Netherlands", she replied, offering him some cocktail nibbles from a dish she was circulating with.Moral: Don't ask - it could be someone whose job you really ought to know already.Patrick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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