The French ability to cultivate the self

[Kay]

I recently read the book "What French Women Know: About Love, Sex, and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind" by Debra Ollivier.

In the book, the author said something that struck me. She said that Americans are obsessed with developing themselves, while the French are more interested in cultivating themselves.

What do you think is meant by cultivating oneself?

How would someone go about doing that?

I am really curious about your opinions on the above questions. Can you help? Thank you!

[woolybanana]

Well, educating oneself means knowing how, say, sex toys work and telling everyone, whereas cultivating oneself is becoming an expert in their use and telling noone.

[DerekJ]

[quote user="woolybanana"]Well, educating oneself means knowing how, say, sex toys work and telling everyone, whereas cultivating oneself is becoming an expert in their use and telling noone.[/quote]

Magic.... the best reply I've seen in ages.[6][:D]

[Hoddy]

If cultivating oneself means growing -

I'm still doing that.

Hoddy

[idun]

[quote user="Hoddy"]If cultivating oneself means growing -

I'm still doing that.

Hoddy[/quote]

Me to Hoddy[:-))]

I never understand these sorts of comments. IF it all worked out so well in France, why are so many french friends divorced AND why do so many of my married french friends, admittedly oldish, sleep in different bedrooms. They all seem happy enough with their lot incidentally, not only the lone sleepers but the divorcees too[Www]

[Zero Cool]

I've read that book. It seems like the author was saying that the French are not that interested in improving themselves. She did say they are interested in cultivating themselves. Now that you pose this question, I want to know the answer as well. What the heck does cultivating yourself mean?

[Russethouse]

[quote user="Hoddy"]If cultivating oneself means growing -

I'm still doing that.

Hoddy[/quote]

Me too - widthways :-)

[Frederick]

http://www.cultivatingthemind.com/2011/10/cultivating-mind.html

Perhaps this ?

[Clarkkent]

[quote user="Kay"]I recently read the book "What French Women Know: About Love, Sex, and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind" by Debra Ollivier. In the book, the author said something that struck me. She said that Americans are obsessed with developing themselves, while the French are more interested in cultivating themselves. What do you think is meant by cultivating oneself? [/quote]

I suppose that it could mean that: 

Americans are concerned with learning new skills and abilities so that they are capable of performing a wider range of tasks, jobs and duties.

French are more interested in honing the skills and abilities that they already have so that they can better perform their current range of tasks, jobs and duties.

I can't help thinking, though, that it is just a piece of pseudo-intellectual bovine effluent that sounds impressive but actually means nothing. Its purpose is not to give you any greater understanding of the human condition but to make you admire the author's linguistic capabilities.

[Russethouse]

What I admire is that two new members have apparently joined the forum just so they can comment on this book......[Www]

[Clarkkent]

[quote user="Russethouse"]What I admire is that two new members have apparently joined just so they can comment on this book......[Www][/quote]

 

So are you suggesting that it is part of a Cunning Plan by the publishers to market the book to a complacent audience?

[woolybanana]

Complacent yes but certainly not compliant.

[Russethouse]

 Gosh, what a spiffing idea ! No, it couldn't possibly be true [8-)]

[Thibault]

The French in general do have the idea that their culture is far in advance of any other nations. A few years ago, I employed a young Frenchwoman who had come to work in England to help me with French conversation. We were discussing the number of Brits who loved France and how many wanted to live there, or visit. I asked her if many French people would like to visit England. I shall never forget her reply, which was uttered in all sincerity (and not without a little puzzlement) 'Why would they want to come here? There's no history and no culture.'

[YCCMB]

"The French" (whoever these mystical beasts are) can be, in extreme cases, so far up their own rectums that only a proctologist would be able to locate them. However, there are people like this of all nationalities

Many of "the French" (although, thankfully, not all) are hell-bent on trying to convince others - and maybe also themselves - that they have reached some sort of "cultural" nirvana. I know a few Brits who are like that, too. "Culture" or "Cultivating ...(insert noun of choice) is subjective, innit? For example, my son just sent me a text saying "I've been hanging out with David Shrigley". I make no secret of the fact that I had to google him, and I would happily bet the farm on the fact that anyone on here would need to do the same. So... so..... what?

I don't think I'd ever want to read a book by someone trying to explain to me what a whole race (or a whole sex) is like, and how they became like that. It's almost as pretentious as me giving my opinion (above) and expecting anyone/everyone to take it as gospel.

[woolybanana]

Well, yes, Betty, nice and clear. Bit early for such complexity and long words, though. Remember that most of the people on this forum are approaching 70 so long words need to be kept to a minimum until at least lunchtime.

[Pickles]

[quote user="Russethouse"]What I admire is that two new members have apparently joined the forum just so they can comment on this book......[Www][/quote]

And despite desperately wanting answers, neither has been seen since. I vote that we call it for what it appears to be - a publisher's or agent's spam attack, and delete any reference to the author or book title. I looked up the reviews on Amazon.co.uk and wasn't impressed - seems to be an American writing primarily for a particular type of American audience.

[Catalpa]

[quote user="Zero Cool"]What the heck does cultivating yourself mean?[/quote]

Sitting in the dark under a blanket of nice warm manure while reading books like the OP's, I suspect. With a backlit ereader. It's not nationality or culture specific. Though possessing an ereader may be.

[YCCMB]

[quote user="woolybanana"]Well, yes, Betty, nice and clear. Bit early for such complexity and long words, though. Remember that most of the people on this forum are approaching 70 so long words need to be kept to a minimum until at least lunchtime.[/quote]

But....but....I'm 107.

[YCCMB]

[quote user="Pickles"][quote user="Russethouse"]What I admire is that two new members have apparently joined the forum just so they can comment on this book......[Www][/quote]

And despite desperately wanting answers, neither has been seen since.

[/quote]

But we're having just as much fun without them, aren't we? And no-one's bought the book?

[woolybanana]

I bet Norman is thinking about it, though: Makes a change from Hustler.

[Pickles]

[quote user="You can call me Betty"][quote user="Pickles"][quote user="Russethouse"]What I admire is that two new members have apparently joined the forum just so they can comment on this book......[Www][/quote]

And despite desperately wanting answers, neither has been seen since.

[/quote]

But we're having just as much fun without them, aren't we? And no-one's bought the book?[/quote]

Yes, but personally, I'd prefer it if we weren't providing free publicity for a freeloader. Hence the suggestion to remove references to the author and title.

[Clarkkent]

[quote user="Catalpa"][quote user="Zero Cool"]What the heck does cultivating yourself mean?[/quote]
Sitting in the dark under a blanket of nice warm manure  ....  [/quote]

 

Like I said, bovine effluent.

 

 

[idun]

........... or 'la bouse'[:D]

[YCCMB]

[quote user="Pickles"][quote user="You can call me Betty"][quote user="Pickles"][quote user="Russethouse"]What I admire is that two new members have apparently joined the forum just so they can comment on this book......[Www][/quote]

And despite desperately wanting answers, neither has been seen since.

[/quote]

But we're having just as much fun without them, aren't we? And no-one's bought the book?[/quote]

Yes, but personally, I'd prefer it if we weren't providing free publicity for a freeloader. Hence the suggestion to remove references to the author and title.

[/quote]

Oh, I think we're providing them with the sort of "free publicity" that money can't buy...[Www]