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Somebody help me


BIG MAC
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I keep looking at the Bennelli Tornado at £5,995.00 plus £200 on the road .......I know it's probably going to cripple me......I know the electrics were probably crafted by Nanas who are on an off day from knitting 'Shreddies' ......I know that the thing will be as reliable as a Thai Rolex........I know that I could achieve similar levels of comfort by using my bench grinder on my nethers.........I know the design dates back to the Dark Ages.......I can see it has a steering damper because it doesn't do steering.......I know I will need leg extensions to be able to sit oin the thing, due to the very silly but very pretty rad and fan arrangement under the seat.......I know that the very pretty rad and fan arrangement under the seat would likely flamb'e my  already bench grinder ravaged jewels.......I know that sudden braking could see the fuel tank finish the job.......I know it will be like riding while holding the front wheel spindle............

But

There's this little voice ...I can't quite tell if it has a Chinese or an Italian accent.....but it keeps saying.....

"Buy me"

Please someone save me!!.......Tell me you have one and it spontaneously combusts  every time you put a key in it........it's burnt down your garage, ran away with your daughter......anything that might dissuade me from .........

"Buy me"

"Buy me"

"Buy me"

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In answer to your plea, a bike for poseurs and real riders alike  benelli_tornado 
(apologies to Victoria Wood)[:)]
Big Mac sat one night,
The sky was clear, the stars were bright,
The wind was soft, the moon was up,
BM drained his cocoa cup.

he licked his lips, he felt sublime,
he switched off Gardeners' Question Time.
Brains cringed in fear and dread
then conscience said….

Let's do it, Let's do it,
Do it while the mood is right
I'm feeling, appealing,
I've really got an appetite.
I'm on fire, with desire,
I could beat all the bikers of a male voice choir.
Let's do it, let's do it, it's right.

Then Brain said:
I can't do it, I can't do it,
I don't believe in too much sex
This fashion, for passion,
Turns me into a nervous wreck
No derision, my decision,
I'd better watch the GP on the television.
I can't do it, I can't do it, even if it's right.

Then conscience said:
Let's do it, Let's do it,
Do it till the sonic wave goes boom
Go native, creative,
Racing with VaVaVoom
This folly, is jolly,
lean it over sideways on me rideout jolly.
Let's do it, let's do it, it's right.

But Brain said:
I can't do it, I can't do it,
Me ‘eavy breathing days’ve gone
I'm older, feel colder,
It's other things that turn me on,
I'm imploring, i'm boring,
Let me read this catalogue on vinyl flooring.
I can't do it, I can't do it, tonight.

But conscience said:
Let's do it, Let's do it,
Have a crazy ride of love.
I'll strip bare, then just wear,
Y-fronts and leathers like a glove.
Don't starve me of a palava,
Get a matching helmet balaclava.
Let's do it, let's do it, it's right.

then Brain said:
I can't do it, I can't do it,
I know I'd only get it wrong.
Don't angle, for me to dangle,
Me arms have never been that strong.
Stop pouting, stop shouting,
You know I pulled a muscle when I did that grouting.
I can't do it, I can't do it, even if it's right.

Let's do it, let's do it,
Share a ride of wild romance,
Frenetic, poetic,
This could be your last big chance,
To quote Milton, to eat stilton,
To roll in gay abandon on the road to house of wilton
Let's do it, let's do it, it's right

I can't do it, I can't do it,
I've got other little jobs on hand,
Don't grouse, around the house,
I've got a busy evening planned.
Stop nagging, I'm flagging,
You know as well as I do that the pipes want lagging.
Can't do it, can't do it, tonight.

Let's do it, let's do it,
While I'm really in the mood
Three cheers, it's years,
Since I caught you even semi-nude
Get drastic, gymnastic,
Wear your baggy leathers with the loose elastic,
but let's do it, let's do it, it's right.

I can't do it, I can't do it,
I must refuse to get undressed.
I feel silly, it's too chilly,
To go without me thermal vest
Don't choose me, don't use me,
Me mother sent a note to say you must excuse me
I can't do it,I can't do it, even if it's right.

Let's do it, let's do it,
I feel I absolutely must,
I won't exempt you, want to tempt you,
Want to drive you mad with lust
No cautions, just contortions,
Smear Castrol R on my lower portions
Let's do it, let's do it, it's right.

I can't do it, I can't do it,
Its really not my cup of tea,
I'm harassed, embarrassed,
I wish you hadn't picked on me.
No dramas, give me my pyjamas,
The only girl I'm mad about is Judith Chalmers
I can't do it, I can't do it, tonight.

Let's do it, let's do it,
I really want to run amok
Let's wiggle, lets jiggle,
Let's really make the rafters rock
Be mighty, be flighty,
Come and melt the road, don't have a nightie
Let's do it, let's do it, it's right.

Let's do it, let's do it,
I really want to rant and rave.
Let's go, 'cos I know,
Just how I want you to behave
Not bleakly, not meekly,
Beat me on the bottom with an MCN Weekly
Let's do it, let's do it, it's right.

 

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Was in New York some years ago and there was some sort of public holiday when they had a parade and I saw a street full of Harleys all lined up and shining like new coins.

They were stationary at the time so don't know if they would have purred but they did look so beautiful.

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B.M.

You ar talking about one of the Great machines built by the Italians, MV Agusta, Bennelli, Moto Guzzi, Laverda and Ducati. I believe all of these Marques now use Nippon switch gear and looms.

The only machine to handle better than an Italian machine was possibly the Manx Norton, but all the Italian machinery could handle really well with the exception of the Laverda jota, over 140mph it would start to weave. I witness this on the Mira test track. There was never any bad  handling problems with the other machines so you have no problem on that score.

In the 70s all of the Italian Marques suffered with the crome pealing and pitting, that was a problem in the preparation process and as you have said the Electrics.

In those days I had the Motto Guzzi 850 T-3 which had a different brake system to all other machines, it had a linked system, the foot brake operated 1 front disc and the rear disc together. it was a boast by the factory that this bike would stop from 100mph while using only the foot break, with NO hands on the handlebars. They were absolutely correct it certainly would do as stated.

So I guess this puts me in favour of the Italian Machinery!!

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I avoided Ducatis like the plague, then had to buy one because it was silly cheap, within two miles I realised what I had been missing while riding Japanese bikes. Yes my tool kit has grown in size, and I spend more time fixing it than I'd like, but it's the riding!!!!

Get a road test, you'll know if it really is THE bike you want/need.

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And it falls within the French power limits and I have just ridden one and need to stand on tip-toe at the lights (seat height is silly due to radiator ducts beneath)

It's the basic TRE I want albeit the Ltd and RS are rather lovely.........

What I didn't expect was the sound.......three cylinders do sound very different .......dunno why I am surprised by KH250 used to sound like the doggies appendages (Well I was 19 at the time!)

The only thing holding me back is that is  £6k could be spent on the French house.....

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Aren't they offering No Money Down  and 0%[6], then end your Motorcycle emptiness [Www]

at least the house will get some and they can only repossess the Pasta Rocket[:)] 

 wikipedia.Benelli  is now part of Motor Group Qianjiang, which is a corporation located in southeast China at Wenling. (July 2009) [:-))] so I spose it should be a rice rocket.

Ever get the feeling the Chinese pretty soon will end up owning everything, . . .  with our money . . .

 

 

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There's some rather nice Triumph triples about as well, although I wonder how the locals around my way would take a Brit flying around with the Union Flag on the tank. Still, some good ones about, well priced and leaving a  bit of change, you've got me thinking now!

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