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B&Bers? Things you've learnt to avoid.

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During the hectic months of B&B, as Mr Blair seems to be forever saying:"Lessons will be learnt".I was wondering what other B&Bers have learnt to avoid or even tips to share?

I have learnt to avoid clingfilm,it never rips on the serated edge properly!!

Mattress covers that the makers are unaware of bed sizes and use elastic that isn't!!

Providing guests with a choice, as someone said,"The world is not enough".

Guests with long black hair,you always find another one!!

Guests who book for 2 adults and three children and arrive with a 6ft 6inch 25year old son,slightly smaller 22 year old and a 22stone version.!!

Rainy days after my wife has done 6 washing machine loads!!

Swiss[Don't ask]

One tip.A smile can defuse most situations,even incomprehension of why it is my fault!!

Regards. Still Complet. St Malo.


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I've enjoyed 99% of it too, but.......

Why do women that wear half an inch of foundation think that my white towels are make-up removal pads?  Or worse still, the pillowcase will do it overnight?

Black hair - I'm banning it next year!!

One-nighters in the family suite in August - 8 pillow cases, 4 bath towels, shower mat, loo mat, 3 sheets and 3 duvet covers to wash, dry and iron when it's raining.

Why do people feel obliged to wipe butter covered knives round the inside of the jam pot when spoons have been supplied.  Likewise,  stick a jam-covered knife into the middle of a new slab of butter.

I've learnt to only leave one ping-pong ball at a time by the table tennis table.  If you leave 2 they lose one, if you leave 6 they lose 5 - if you only leave one they never lose it! [:)]

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Fake tattoos which come off on the sheets.

Anyone who says 'I'm not a fussy eater but.......'

French people who push aside their plate at breakfast and eat the croissant jam side down on the clean tablecloth (WHY do they do that?)

One nighters in family suite.

People who say "You are so lucky living this wonderful, relaxed life style - what an easy way to make money"

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Agree with all the above - have found that leaving cotton wall balls in bathroom freebies basket does help keep the make up removal on towels to a minimum (famous last words - have a wedding party in this w/end inc bride & groom.....) However, this mornings bugbear is LATE BREAKFASTERS.......being Saturday I have a double gite changeover to do - the 1st gite guests have gone early & I'd like to get the 1st one done & dusted ASAP, but am sitting waiting for signs of life from the B&B guests...now 9.10 & I just know they wont appear till late this morning of all mornings...however, if I go over & help hubby with cleaning you just know they will appear.........grrrrrrrrrr
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.......and in a super B&B we stayed at in France, all piled up in a very pretty little basket.

I have enough problems at home with jam and butter, so am quite happy to be served this way. I know it's difficult for those who make their own jams (and butter maybe?) but actually some homemade jams I've been served taste awful (er......my mother springs to mind here!!!).
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Unfortunately it comes down to the economics of running a B&B vs a hotel again.  During the really hot weather I bought the individual butter pats because when the butter is too soft it doesn't go very far and if you keep it in the fridge it's rock hard.  But I ended up wasting even more butter that way because just about everyone (even from the same family) opened and used just half a pat and I was getting through a box every couple of days and they are twice the price of normal packs of butter!
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St Amour - don't know if you have a Pier Import shop near you but I got some dinky little butter dishes from there.  They hold a slice of butter about big enough for 2 people for breakfast so if it gets jammy not too much goes to waste - I recuperate the bits for making cakes/pastry so not much to chuck away.  Putting out a big dish seems always to lead to disaster.

Really must get a life instead of talking about ends of butter - I think this trade has removed whatever limited brain power I once had.[:)]

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 After I posted I looked at Lakeland - nothing! Those twirls must be out of fashion..........I can see why they were beloved of landladies though, one you have the knack they are quick and economical, leftover, jam free twirls are easily recycled too - bring back the butter twirl ![:)][:)]
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Okay my hand is waving madly in the air for my turn!!

Ditto guests with black hair at all...spanish and south american women take delight in filling the sink drain with their hair.

Bald people will be most welcome.

People who dont know how to use the toilet brush...enough said.

The words 'I'm gluten-free'

People who book a place that is in the countryside then complain that it is in the countryside.

Swiss? Try English (feel free to ask)

"We wish to see the room first". see under 'English'

Couples who book the 'maximum 2-person'  room and arrive with 2 kids then complain they all cant fit.

"Yes we've seen tonights menu...what else have you got?"...see under 'English' again.

"Do you have another mattress?".

"Can you swap our mattress with one from another room then?".

Perfume, pubic hair, unflushed toilets, setting up a  breakfast table especially for a couple who then go and sit at an unmade-up table, "You mean children dont eat free?".

I could go on if you like.

But there has been some fun amoungst it.


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[quote user="Cerise"]

Really must get a life instead of talking about ends of butter...[/quote]

Don't worry - you should see some of the things we gite owners spend hours discussing over on the LayMyHat forum! I think our record was the infamous "towel" thread that went on for about 18 pages....

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Not too keen on those who:

Say, "Our daughter's a vegan - did I mention that when we booked?"

Open yoghurts then decide they don't really want one.

Order breakfast for 7.30am then don't come down until 8.15am - I don't care how blimmin' comfy the beds were.  We could have had longer in bed as well!

Polish their shoes on the towels/ remove mud using the bathmats instead of the doormats.

Use their suitcases as battering rams to open doors when there is a perfectly serviceable handle in the usual place.

Think it necessary to stand for half an hour under the shower in order

to be clean - especially when they were due down to breakfast half an

hour ago.

We love guests who:

Come down on time for breakfast.

If they have small children in the twin room, bring them into their own room to bath or shower.

Don't chuck the patchwork quilts off the bed onto the floor and trample all over them.

Have a small bag instead of a sailor's travelling chest for an overnight stay (ooh, me back!).

Manage to get most of their breakfast in their mouths rather than on the floor.

Say thank you.  They can be forgiven almost anything in the previous section.

Leave us our shower mitts/makeup remover pad packs/keys/etc.

Leave their toiletries.

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Cassis! we have guests who have PLENTY of their own soap, shampoo and conditioner, but, (Herbal Essences seems very popular) complain when we dont  top all this up with our own. When we do they set all ours to one side...when we dont they complain we dont replace!.

I have had guests wipe MORE than their face on our towels...

We have just thrown out THREE bedspreads due to people throwing them on the floor and walking on them. What is a wardrobe for???.

We had a recent Spanish guest complain that the 'robe was full of "trastos". It contained 2 extra pillows & two extra blankets.

I rest my case.

That checkout at Tesco sometimes reminds me of better things....

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I thought there might be a few interesting replies, if I had the hard neck I could put a notice in each room with a few rules and reg's.

You WILL come down to breakfast at the allotted time.

You will NOT put wet towels on the duvets after use.

You will NOT spill red wine on the white bed covers.

You WILL sit where we have laid your table.

You will not chat to other guests at the breakfast table untill 11.55am as I have to clear the table,etc.etc and try and be polite to you.Now pack up.pay upand bugger off,Hope to see you next year. Bonne Route.

Regards. No more this year,only family.

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Russethouse - if you ask at the Chambre de Metiers you may get an EEC subvention and a place in the local artisans fete![:)]

Gastines - you wouldn't like to swop would you?  I'm actually going away for 3 days tomorrow but then back to an almost full house for September and well into October.  I know that I've got at least 2 lots of repeat guests who whilst pleasant enough are exhaustion factor - what kind of relatives would you care to trade for a band of over exuberant Australians?

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