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Harrassment


Angie
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[quote user="virginia.c"]Simon Not only are you a fool, which, in itself is not your fault, not everyone is fortunate enough to be blessed with intelligence. No, I'm afraid your greatest crime now is that you have become tedious, and you have become a wonderful exponent of the characteristic. I wish you and your neighbours a lovely life and give great thanks that you don't live any where near me..[/quote]

Ginny - just been mucking out and thought about you and your most recent post.

Naturally I bow to your superior intelligence and unquestionable eloquence. Although, I must stress that as a lower mortal I tend to steer away from personal attacks and insults - they do so tend to 'downgrade' one somewhat. Tedious I know but there you have it!

I'll pass on your kind thoughts to the neighbours.

Simon :-)

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[quote user="Simon-come-lately"][quote user="Quillan"]

I just caught up on the posts on this thread. I was going to answer some points but actually I now realise I just can't be bothered. What I will say is that whilst one member is very pleased the OP does not live near them I am sure I am not the only one who is glad I don't live near that particular member. I would love to find a proper definition of what it means to be integrated in France when you own a holiday home and come for a few weeks every year.

[/quote]

Morning Quillan - simple definition of 'Integrated' for you.....

 : of or pertaining to a group or society whose members interact on the basis of commonly held norms or values.

Voila!

Simon :-)

[/quote]

I was thinking, I don't remember people doing much of this in the UK when I lived there. Sure people had a 'house warming' when they moved in but that would usually be family and friends. I don't remember village meals (I also lived in more than one small village at different times in the UK) like they have in France. In fact these days some people hardly speak to their neighbours, sad I know compared to 50 or 60 years ago but that's how it is these days. The English have a different culture to the French and whilst it is not for the English to 'push' their culture on to the French likewise, when talking about holiday home owners, it is not for people in the village to 'push' their culture on them. Most holiday home owners I know just want a bit of peace and quiet away from their stressful lives. They don't want to feel that they have to attend every village event, have BBQ's on a regular basis inviting all the locals many of whom will not even bother talking to them apart from hello and goodbye after scoffing all the food they can. Integration is not mandatory, it's up to the individuals. There are many French who live in villages who don't integrate either, just watch who turns up, or doesn't turn up, at village meals and other events etc.

As to stereo typing people by dress (".......bet you he wears a Panama hat, Blazer and Chinos!") well honestly. Who cares what people wear as long as it is not indecent. I thought France was the home of high fashion, how wrong I was but then who really cares. Then there is the "French not giving a damn about the British", well in general he is probably right. Many French are too busy getting on with their lives.

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This thread is making me feel bad - I think I might be guilty of harrassment!

When my various neighbours go away I tend to "keep an eye" on their property, and dash round with a report as soon as I see they've returned [:$]

I realise now that I should give them a day or 2 to settle back in before breaking any news.

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Strange you should say that, Pat.  With me it was somewhat different.

In our other house, we were the people "on site" and reluctantly took on the role of caretaker of the English neighbours' house.

It was always they who harrassed us!  No sooner had they driven up than they were knocking on our door, asking for news of their house, had we put on the hot water/turned on the fridge freezer and yes, a cup of tea would be lovely!

Just goes to show how different our ideas of "harrassment" are! 

I suppose, generally speaking, it's I won't harrass you if you don't harrass me......[8-|]

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[quote user="Patf"]This thread is making me feel bad - I think I might be guilty of harassment!
When my various neighbours go away I tend to "keep an eye" on their property, and dash round with a report as soon as I see they've returned [:$]
I realise now that I should give them a day or 2 to settle back in before breaking any news.
[/quote]

We live in a group of five houses. some don't bother you, one wouldn't even phone the fire brigade when somebodies shed caught alight whilst another will watch your house like a hawk when you are away and they are all French. Different strokes for different folks I guess.

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[quote user="sweet 17"]

In our other house, we were the people "on site" and reluctantly took on the role of caretaker of the English neighbours' house.

It was always they who harrassed us!  No sooner had they driven up than they were knocking on our door, asking for news of their house, had we put on the hot water/turned on the fridge freezer and yes, a cup of tea would be lovely!

[/quote]

But more importantly sweets, did they pay your invoices on time? or is discussing money still infra dig?

Seriously though, are other nationalities prepared to "put up with things" the way the English do? Or perhaps "you mustn't make a fuss" is  a phrase that does not translate?

John

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It seems to me most of the prblems are fairly easily solved, next time the OP is asked about hedge cutting I would say that it would be too much for me alone, and that it isn't my responsibility, but I'd happily join a team of helpers or help pay for a professional. Write to the person about the land or get a notaire to do it.

I think much f the problem here is perspective - the OP is there 8 weeks, but his responsibilities regarding the property are 52 weeks of the year........that means that things are stored up and condensed.

For the sake of the guests I would have a letter printed saying they are guests, on holiday and uable to help, but giving the owners address or even find some one within a 10 mile radius able to act as a liaison between the owner and anyone with a question about the property - pay them a small honorarium if need be

This problem needs some investment of time and /or money - but I think it would be worth it.

 

As for the personal rudeness on the thread - you may not like or approve of everyone who posts here but please remember your manners - I'm pretty sure some of you wouldn't be that rude face to face.

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SLC I have found you more affable on this thread that usual, sounds like you are for the most part just messing around a little and rather chirpy.

I don't usually find you so affable incidentally.

See how we all read posts differently.[8-|]

 

 

The only time I have seen chino/panama hat men is when we go to a philipino friends birthday party in England. She is married to a very pleasant english man, but it seems that her philipino friends in the UK are not, they are married to these chino/panama hat blokes and you couldn't find  a creepier bunch of old peter's with their lushious young wives in tow and leching over everyone else's.

I never lived in an expat community. We could pick les anglais out at a 100 paces though when on holiday, often those sandals, and worse, those sandals with socks. Easy enough to pick the germans out too, I have to say.

 

Re harrassing. Well our neighbours who would check our house for us would leave a note if there was anything important, and we would usually go and see them the day after we got back bearing gifts, it worked, no hassling and all very pleasant. We'd have a bit of an apero and natter and tell them about our hols and catch up with village news. I had no idea it wasn't like that for everyone else, I though that these arrangements were 'usual'.

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Maybe I missed a point here. If the gentleman is so concerned about the hedge-why doesn't he help to cut it? Why does he expect a holiday home owner to do it?

It sometimes seems to me that S-C-L expects people to behave differently from their normal character because they have a holiday home (or even live permenently) in France. I live in a small hamlet with 6 french neighbours and 2 english. I don't socialise much with any of them although speak reasonable french. I am polite,help out when and if asked. I have had a small soiree to which I invited all the neighbours. Even in the UK I was a somewhat solitary person and prefered it that way.Does that mean I didn't integrate in the UK (the country of my birth) just because I didn't go around making myself known in the neighbourhood or chatting to my neighbours over the gsrden fence? Does it mean I am not integrated here because I behave the same?

If I still lived in the UK and had a holiday home in a different area I would feel harrassed if a neighbour approached me and harranged me about something that was not my responsibility and that I had already explained to him was not my responsibility.Why should I feel any different because the holiday home is in France-or does S-C-L expect us to be subserviant and just do what is demanded of us? I would guess that this chap is not haranging his french neighbours about this but feels that he can demand from this foreigner and expect the OP to jump.

Why when there are other neighbours should the OP be responsible?
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[quote user="Mr Ice-ni"][quote user="sweet 17"]

In our other house, we were the people "on site" and reluctantly took on the role of caretaker of the English neighbours' house.

It was always they who harrassed us!  No sooner had they driven up than they were knocking on our door, asking for news of their house, had we put on the hot water/turned on the fridge freezer and yes, a cup of tea would be lovely!

[/quote]

But more importantly sweets, did they pay your invoices on time? or is discussing money still infra dig?

Seriously though, are other nationalities prepared to "put up with things" the way the English do? Or perhaps "you mustn't make a fuss" is  a phrase that does not translate?

John

[/quote]

Did they pay us?  Did they heck!  Never any mention of money or even taking us for a meal or a few prezzies from the UK. If we were paid, I wouldn't mind so much.  In fact, we didn't mind for over TWO years and I only got resentful when she said to OH one day, BTW, you forgot to put the ice tray in the freezer and I had to drink my G & T with no ice!

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[quote user="Cendrillon"]After seven pages of discussion and bickering on this subject I should think Steve (OP) has probably gone away or lost the will to live.[blink]
[/quote]

He most certainly has after the obsessive drivel spoken by simon the integrated Frenchman. I bet come latelys neighbours in the UK had a whip round to pay for his moving expenses to France.  [:D]

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[quote user="NickP"]

[quote user="Cendrillon"]After seven pages of discussion and bickering on this subject I should think Steve (OP) has probably gone away or lost the will to live.[blink]
[/quote]

He most certainly has after the obsessive drivel spoken by simon the integrated Frenchman. I bet come latelys neighbours in the UK had a whip round to pay for his moving expenses to France.  [:D]

[/quote]

Oh silly Nicky....what makes you think I came from the UK?!

No to worry, I see the daytime temperature in Crawley (!?!), West Sussex reached a stunning 23C today - hope you had your suncream on!

Beautiful eveing here in the Pyrenees, 34C, not a cloud in the sky and local villagers all behaving immpecably.

'Clem's Disco' playing in the village tonight so looks like more integration on the cards for me!

Simon :-)

 

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If the evening is an atrocious 34°, then what on earth was the noon temperature. Just the thought is making me feel very ill. I know why I left.

23° sounds lovely, just right, not a wilting heat, just a very pleasant one in the mid teens will do me on an evening/night. At least I can put things on or on the bed to keep warm, when you're down to nothing on or nothing on the bed, getting cool can be problematic.

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[quote user="Russethouse"]AndI think that if you continue to be personally rude to/about  forum member you risk a ban.......last warning.[/quote]

Who was that aimed at or is it a secret? After all I think it only fair you should give come lately a chance to explain his reasons for his rudeness

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[quote user="Jay"][quote user="Russethouse"]AndI think that if you continue to be personally rude to/about  forum member you risk a ban.......last warning.[/quote]

That's Harrassment surely, give Simon CL another chance, I'm enjoying this thread!
[/quote]

Hi Jay - don't worry, I'm not going anywhere - just NickP missing the point - again!

Anyway, must dash - hedges to cut ;-)

Simon :-)

 

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[quote user="Albert the InfoGipsy"]On the subject of the guru from Ariege, I expect (from experience) that if enough people can show holes in his arguments he'll throw his toys out of the pram and ask a mod to remove all his posts, ever, from the forum.[/quote]

Problem is Albert - noone has showed any 'holes in my arguments' - all they do is make personal attacks which is pretty weak really!

Oh, and just for the record I have never asked a forum moderator to remove any of my posts. I'm proud of them all!

Simon :-) (the guru from the Ariege)

 

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[quote user="NickP"]

[quote user="Russethouse"]AndI think that if you continue to be personally rude to/about  forum member you risk a ban.......last warning.[/quote]

Who was that aimed at or is it a secret? After all I think it only fair you should give come lately a chance to explain his reasons for his rudeness

[/quote]

The person who posted immediatley before - but you are on thin ice too............attack the argument if you want, but not the person holding the views you disagree with.

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