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No Going Back - Chaos at the Castle


Deby
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Is it just me, or is this programme the most boring example of the genre ever transmitted?

We cannot decide whether this is because:

 

1 We have seen it all before, many many times.

2 One can't get involved with the personalities because if it all goes wrong, well back to The City.

3 There are too many implausibilities - Instant Workmen. Incredible Progress for a cack-handed DIYer (A complete bathroom in less than 2 weeks etc etc.

4 We know the ending , 'cause we have all seen the website.

Even more than Nippy and Nigel it just don't ring true. 

 

 

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Well thanks BJ, I was completely taken with the excellence of the chaps work and the speed he has learned to be a tradesmen. He has single handedly transformed this Chateau and now you have ruined if for me by putting doubts in my head

I will admit to being slightly amazed at how quick he got decorators, electricians and plumbers in, many times at a moments notice, should that have been a clue to this being all little less than a jackanory reality?

Duchess can it be done I say Did you have all the trades "on tap" as well.............

 

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Tradesmen, what tradesmen?  We asked for a quote for some small repairs to the roof by 3 different roofers, not one came back, one climbed up there and scratched his head and then announced it is not my 'metier' I do tiles not slates!!!  3 months later nothing...!

My darling husband is our tradesmen all rolled into one! He is also a perfectionist which sometimes causes a few problems when the guests pull up on the driveway!  My dad also lent a hand which sometimes conflicted with my husbands' high standards!

Putting a bathroom in two weeks is a mighty feat, but it would depend on the plumbing - for us there were no push-fit easy solutions. Poor bloke had to learn to solder copper piping in one easy lesson and no room for mistakes! Quite funny when you have to trek half a mile to switch the water on/off - oh we have many an amusing story.

The worst saga was the pool, will it/won't it be ready/arrive/work/leak  - well it finally did and we had happy guests.  We did have some village help from the guy who digs holes and he did come to help out in our hour of need. I put this down to hubby speaking good french and a bit of charm!

This programme is obviously made for television with Louis Theroux looky-likey miraculous DIY skills thrown in for good measure.

Mind you I thought his hotel checkers were a bit snooty, how many hotels have you all stayed in and they have been only too happy to make the kids lunch at a drop of a hat - oh yes Gleneagles I think or the one that Madonna stayed at!

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Hadn't the couple rather courted these two in order to get a mention on the child friendly web site ?

I thought it showed rather a gap in the service they thought they gave and the impression of the customer, I don't think they were quite as friendly as they thought either.

Ooops - most have watched more than I thought

I just don't warm to them somehow, can't really say why not either - takes all sorts.....

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[quote]Tradesmen, what tradesmen? We asked for a quote for some small repairs to the roof by 3 different roofers, not one came back, one climbed up there and scratched his head and then announced it is not ...[/quote]

I wanted an instant gas heat water heater. Found a plumber (recommended by locals), he came round that day, quote in three days and could start the work in two weeks time. However, the quote had the item "Boiler" and I made the stupid mistake to ask him "what make of boiler ... " and as the words slipped-out I knew I'd regret it. Now I can't get anything from him. He's polite enough but its always "I busy at the moment", "I'll call you back", etc.
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One thing that is difficult is to know how much is it the TV people "messing with how they come across". The classic is the Nippy and Nigel thing - no two people can be that incapable/inept when it comes to spending large sums of money (or just life) - so it can only have been the TV people.

In fact Nigel got a bit worried about how he came across and did a "comeback" series "just to convince the world that he really was incapable".
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  • 2 weeks later...

Well tonight was the last episode and I still think it was tabloid telly.  They probably had the conclusion already in the bag before they filmed the 1st episode.

Colette the wife was made to appear as a nagging housewife, whilst poor DIY Patrick politely soldiered on. Not real life at all.  Hubby and I glanced at each other a few times with knowing looks and a raised smile!

They accommodated a wedding (they got in a French Chef) and had the various hiccups of no hotwater/ lights failing etc - all to be fixed at the last moment.  I think they were pleased with their overall success.  There were no comments from the guests themselves though.

So now they are renovating their outbuildings - a Gite. 

I wish them success I sincerely do as this business is hard, I certainly don't fancy being a Hotelier thats for sure.

Deby

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I just ponder and ponder think the whole series is a set up from start to finnish, for viewer ratings . How much does it cost to do say 6 episodes of coronation street?? a lot less than £400,000 and you will still get your capital back on the property.  I just cannot believe that 2 supposed intelligent people with kids in tow could make a living out of a b&b and pay off a £400,000 mortgage at the same time. Just makes me think it`s a set up, or am I the worst pessimist in wales.....    soon to be the worst one in France....    
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I did watch this tonight.

They said that they had 'made' £28000. Made or took in? Wouldn't a £400K loan cost around £4000 a month. You need to have an income of around 1400 euros each week, every week of the year to cover just that, never mind the rest. I really do not understand this kind of high finance.

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I must say as the series ended and they started on the gite, I couldn't help wondering about the financial viability long term.

How long would it take just for the gite just to 'wash its face' leave alone make a dent in £400,000 ?

As I said I got tired of it pretty quickly and ended up just seeing snippets so I may have missed something - can only wish them the best of luck though.

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[quote]I did watch this tonight. They said that they had 'made' £28000. Made or took in? Wouldn't a £400K loan cost around £4000 a month. You need to have an income of around 1400 euros each week, every we...[/quote]

Based on the 1/3 principal of the french bank system you would need a net income of around GBP12000/month (slightly less), which seems to be really pushing it for a hotel of that size - even a posh one.  With rates of ~E200/night and 6? rooms they would seem to need quite (very!) high occupancy figures to make it viable, after taking into running costs and taxes.

However they still seem to be in business www.chateauribagnac.com. so good luck ot them - I wonder how many people have been put off from staying there based on the watching programme.

regs

 

Richard

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Me for one, I don't think I would like her at all, although this may be due to editing.

As they are both well qualified I just couldn't fathom why they had been unable to 'downshift' in the UK and rather felt they may have got into the 'its more sociably acceptable to move to France' mindset - takes all sorts......

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I saw this programme last night for the first time quite by accident and thought what a miserable life this family have  created for themselves,they spend all the time working and are missing out so much.Who in their right mind wants 24/7 drudgery as that was the impression we got from their existance. To have a mortgage of £400K hanging over you is enough to turn your hair grey and OK they may be renovating the place right through but once they have finished it will be time to start all over again, hence the never ending moneypit. I don't know anything about the family at all,but they have no hotel type training thats obvious to see and as for catering,what a fiasco and what a filthy kitchen. I had to laugh when the couple got miffed about not being invited to the wedding reception and the groom was supposed to be a good friend,wonder why! Wonder if this trash will herald a stampede of brits to go chateau-buying and start becoming hoteliers?
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  • 2 weeks later...

The programme producers don't have quite so much leeway to select their "ideal" French property as you'd think. We were in the frame for one of the series ourselves but were dropped simply because we couldn't start the move in January which is when filming had to start. Having said that, I suspect that time limitation has a lot to do with the problems that some places have: in principle we might have been able to load everything into the removal truck in January but that would have forced us to move a couple of months before we were ready (not that we were as ready as we'd have liked even two months later!) and created all kinds of problems that we were able to avoid.

As far as the chambre d'hotes/hotel thing goes... it's best to advertise as a "hotel" simply because that word is used in most of the common languages and therefore you appear on the web searches more easily. Our english website lists us as a hotel but the french version lists us as a chambre d'hote. In practice, we get more hits from France itself on the english pages simply because people here search for hotels more often than using chambre d'hote.

In hindsight, we think it was actually to our advantage NOT to have been on the programme. As it is, we know that any queries we get are "real" ones rather than people just writing to say they'd seen the place on TV and could they have a look around. (We did just the same ourselves with Nigel & Nippy's place) I think that's one reason why some places that you see on TV fail after a while: there's no way that anyone could afford to maintain the equivalent of the level of "advertising" that a TV programme gives you.

We have noticed that there is a considerable difference in the amount of assistance that appears when you're wandering around with a TV crew in tow. When have you ever seen any difficulty in French administration with one of the programmes? I'm sure that local politics comes into play to a large degree in that.

Having said all that, we have received nearly instant response from the local tradespeople. It's not really a big surprise to find that though as we are one of the larger local businesses and they're expecting further business in the future. Presumably that would apply to a chateau, only more so. I can see the gardeners rubbing their hands in glee at so many hectares needing looking after!

 

 

Arnold & Wendy

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Here's something mmh unusual.

I forwarded them an enquiry which we could'nt help - their autoreply email stated they're having a break and wont be checking mail until the 13 December!  Did I miss something here?!

Deby

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[quote]One thing that is difficult is to know how much is it the TV people "messing with how they come across". The classic is the Nippy and Nigel thing - no two people can be that incapable/inept when it c...[/quote]

Correct me please if I am wrong, but did I not read in the Grudian at the time that Nigel was in fact the programme's producer and that most if not all of all the situations, like his not having any money, the neighbours washing line and the girl friend's boyfriend turning up, had been made up make a very dull programme more interesting.

I am puzzled by just what is a chateau in France, this afterrnoon a couple were shown a 4 bedroom country house, with a large garden  in the Charente and it was described as a Chateau, but isn't a chateau a castle

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No, what we refer to as a "castle" is referred to here as a "chateau fort". A "chateau" can be taken to mean the biggest or grandest house in the village: in olden times it would have been where the equivalent of our "lord of the manor" lived. That rather vague definition means that there is an enormous range of what is referred to as a "chateau" over here.

 

Arnold & Wendy

www.mascamps.com

 

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[quote]I must say as the series ended and they started on the gite, I couldn't help wondering about the financial viability long term.How long would it take just for the gite just to 'wash its face' leave al...[/quote]

The finances are impossible. Short term, let alone long term.

This is the bit I don't get. These people are from the city, which presumably means they can add up.

They claim to have a £400,000 mortgage. If they earn £28,000 a year this would pay the equivalent of an interest rate (very roughly) of about 7%.

But this excludes everything else. To even get *near* manageable I think they'd have to earn 40k.

And they won't get the "friends visiting" all the time either. Business is about sustainability ; I scoff when I hear about "renting out to people buying or moving into houses" .... hello ... those people wont be there for ever !

Also, who lent them the money ? What sane person would end £400,000 on a castle in Limousin (which is not exactly Monte Carlo) on this business plan ? (I don't even think the property is worth that much)

Answer : IMO it's bo**ocks. They've saved a wodge, or flogged a UK house and paid mostly cash - well as a *minimum* half of the total purchase and renovation costs.

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A couple of observations - with moderator hat off.

The reason these TV programmes are made is, basically, entertainment. The Nigel and Nippy saga was the prime example of this; Nigel was indeed the producer and the whole thing had a very blurred line between fact and fiction, but that made it great entertainment (it was also very economical to make of course). Those who want to take these programmes seriously rather than have a laugh, or those who feel uncomfortable laughing at the misfortunes of others, should perhaps stick to the more intellectual channels.

Of course, it all begs the question as to why seemingly intelligent people, knowing they are going to be made into figures of fun, and their business is going to be shown up as amateur and less-than-competent, take part in the programmes - though if that argument was to hold water nobody would fly Easyjet after seeing that orther 'reality' programme. And one has to question the ethics behind the way it is presented as fact rather than a good, well-embellished story of misfortunes - the more basic 'facts' are those that are seized upon by other people thinking they can chuck in their lives in GB, move overseas, and all their problems can be solved, as they wouldn't make the same mistakes, would they?...

And 'Business is about sustainability ; I scoff when I hear about "renting out to people buying or moving into houses"'. Surely business is also about making the most of opportunities while they are there? Our own rental enterprise is based solely around house-hunters and those who have recently bought, and it exploits a niche market very nicely thank you. Should we not have embarked on it just because the supply of customers might diminish at some time? I think not. Of course, a big consideration is that we both have other jobs so the future doesn't depend on this single business. I quite agree with what you say about the figures though, Paulrlinux.

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The business is not viable and cannot service a debt of £400.000. So we must assume they have other sources of revenue which the TV programme failed to mention. I cannot believe that two trained lawyers would be foolish enough to enter into a business plan on the basis presented to the TV watching public. I suspect they have not fully given up their jobs and have consultancy contracts working from France or some such thing. If not and all is as the TV would have us believe then they are doomed.
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I agree that the house-hunter market isn't one to depend on in the long term and even in the short term it can be quite fickle. However, it is definitely profitable. House hunters generally stay a good deal longer than the average and need to come back a number of times during the purchase process. If I could work out how to do it, I'd be making a point of attracting them. The obvious solution of advertising in French Property News doesn't seem to work.

To be fair on the "chaos people", this has been a dreadful year for tourism in France overall so in a more normal year they would make a good deal more than they did this year. Aside from that, they will have their marketing a good deal more sorted out although this might well be cancelled out by the absence of the series on the TV next year.

Going by the experience locally I suspect that we saw a good proportion of their total number of clients which would mean that they're a long way short of bringing enough in to make the mortgage payments. That excludes the TV income, of course and any residual consultancy fees that they may have.

 

Arnold & Wendy

 

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I think part of the difficulty and cause of dissatisfaction with the program are that it is not what it presents itself as.

I saw one or two then gave up. It seemed to present itself as a sort of factual documentary – describing what these people had done and how they were progressing doing it. However, it appears it may actually be entertainment “dressed-up” as documentary which I disagree with. It is hard enough these days to know what parts of what is being reported are true, subject to bias or just untrue and presenting entertainment as a factual documentary does not help.

Things like are they talking about £400000 or €400000. Is that the cost of the property of the amount borrowed by the mortgage. I did not realise that the “Nigel” was involved which and, from his previous efforts makes the possibility of “convenient errors for dramatic effect” quite probably.

I may not enjoy the style of presentation, but that is me and others may like it. Anybody can chose not to watch the program. However, people wishing to move, planning, etc. are often “hungry for information” (I know I was before I moved) and thus, even though they may not enjoy the program, still watch in the hope that they can gain helpful insight and knowledge as to how thing work in France. For people (including myself with the Nigel/Nippy farce) who watch for information and insight the program is particularly poor as it only pretends to present facts, providing fiction in a plausible format.

(I’ve just found this site and registered. Is this site always so slow or is Saturday a busy time because its pretty “snail’s pace” stuff. Also does not like my browser very much !!!!!)

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