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Gitespeak - common phrases interpreted


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When some locataires (guests) leave they may give a clue as to what you will find when you go inside. This is normally in "gitespeak" - a form of code used by British holiday renters.

"We've left it clean" (We've left it filthy)

"We've been cleaning all /day/night/morning" (We've left it appallingly filthy)

"We've cleaned up as best we can" (We haven't lifted a finger, let alone a duster or sponge)

"Super kitchen" (We've been cooking fry-ups all week and there's fat spattered up the wall to ceiling height)

"Even the children helped clean their rooms" (There are bits of cake under the beds, broken biscuits in the bedside drawers, sticky marks on every surface, and melted chocolate on the carpet)

Doubtless you will be able to provide many other decoded examples of gitespeak.

I think I prefer it when they just say goodbye. That's usually code for a decent clean gite.

(As you may have guessed today was a particularly difficult changeover!)

Patrick

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At least you guys are prepared for the odd "disaster zone". We (stupidly) let our gite out for a few one night B&Bs last year without doing anything beforehand to downgrade it to a room rather than a gite. Now normally it takes us about 20 mins to clean a room. After the Colombians left we were way over two hours into it before it was ready to go again.

 

Arnold

 

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...actually, when they don't even say goodbye but try to leave without you even knowing, prepare for a cleaning session which would make even the revered Kim and Aggie reel with shock!

Had some locataires in our place (2 couples with 2 v. small babies) who managed not only to sleep in 2 double and 4 single beds, but also to discover and help themselves to the supplies of extra bedding, so I had to wash 4 double sheets, 4 single sheets, 6 duvet covers and 16 pillowcases for 4 tenants!! They left the fridge and dishwasher full, the iron and ironing board up and in the middle of the dining room, pasta all over the kitchen floor, barbecue coals all over the flower beds in the garden (I could actually count how many BBQ's they had had, as there was a pile for each one!). Won't go into further gory details, but I spent 3 days washing, ironing and cleaning the house back to the standard I'd want to find it in!!!!

I suppose it goes with the turf, but there are certainly some people that I hope won't re-book next year!!

Jane

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Why I always clean up properly.

 

 

I want my deposit back, and if hadn't respected the place and not left it clean I would not expect it back.

 

 

The last place we rented was with friends. My friend went to get stuff to wash the floors and came back with nothing from the cupboard saying that we'd have to buy a mop. I went to the cupboard and we were OK. She swept up ahead of me and I said I'd mop. She just couldn't imagine what I was going to use. Ofcourse they had left a serpilleaire, bucket and hard long handled brush. My friend had never seen anything like it in her life. My advice is if you have brit clients get a conventional mopping system as she wouldn't have known how to use a rather french method.

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Our worst one last year was "just one glass and one coaster broken", which equalled 2 torn matress protectors, one curtain pole pulled down and left on the floor, one cracked plate, filth everywhere, and toddler finger prints on every imaginable surface. Having travelled with a toddler myself I remember having to spend the night before departure going round cleaning, but I refuse to leave someone else's house in a poor condition.  I have my pride - a pity some of our locataires don't! I sometimes wonder if they want hotel conditions for gite prices???

Keep smiling everyone

 

Marie

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Ooh, and I forgot that our ones from last year also managed to pull the front off a kitchen drawer - how??? and the kitchen was only 3 weeks old!

By the way, what is your glass breaking average? Ours is one a week so far this year, although I expect that to rise over the next few weeks.  Incidentally, my rate at home is about one every 3 years, so it still staggers me how people manage to break so many while supposedly taking care of someone else's house!

 

 

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I can understand the glass thing, some people get nervous with other people's things. Bit like Hyacinths poor neighbour I suppose. We had a friend over years ago and she broke three glasses in one day. Our friend is rather meticulous and was dreadfully embarrassed. If memory serves right she broke something the next time she came too. She seemed to get over it after that.

And me I am terrible for knocking over those wine glasses with the long stems. I hate the things.

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I don't think British locataires are used to the carrelage, so unforgiving on all crockey and glasses compared to a typical carpet. In addition to this, the likelihood of dropping a glass is worse after drinking alcohol, which  of course, most people do a lot of on holiday in France! I get far more breakages of glasses than coffee cups.

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But where do all the teaspoons go? (Having just had to replace the remainder of the gite cutlery with a set of our own rather more expensive stuff...)

And why was the kitchen soap dish in the bathroom? (When there's one there already)

And why do I always end up with a pocket full of those little plasticky T shaped things that hold clothes price tags on?

Always a bottle of olive oil left (that's noce) but never potatoes, which you wouldn't think they'd take home...

And why was the little fat Scottish lady wearing a corset in the baking hot last week of August last year? (It was left down the side of the bed, no, I didn't send it back.) This prompted a small verse:

On the 3rd day of September my gite guests left for me -

12 Sainsbury's teabags
11 melted biscuits
10 pubic hairs
9 ripe or-anges
8 pieces crispbread
7 dirty towels
6 teaspoons margarine
5 poo-ooo spots
4 kitchen rolls
3 clothing tags
2 bot-tles water
...and a grubby grey grotty cor-set!
 
 
(Actually there were 9 dirty towels but I already had the oranges in there!)
 
Jo
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This isn't on the subject of breakages exactly...

...but what is up with corkscrews going missing? We can't seem to keep them in the house. We bought 4 on our last trip there and this week there were none left!
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I think corkscrews are semi-intelligent and move around when you're not watching them. We have four or five which aren't in areas accessible by guests yet can only ever find one!

Teaspoons are prized for eating yoghurts and whatnot on the way home and therefore disappear with great regularity. I gather that the thinking process is "they are small, the owners won't miss them".

 

Arnold

 

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[quote]"The children just love those Babybel cheeses"= expect to see the red wax trodden into floors, ground into furniture and stuck to the bedding.Don't you just wish those things could be banned ?[/quote]

There is an up side to babybel cheese.....we have one girl staying with at the moment who is making the most amazing mice, Loch Ness monsters etc from the shells of the babybels!! They look even more stunning now that you can get red, green & yellow babybels!!
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