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Gites - Tales of the Unexpected.....!


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Here we are in the middle of silly season....thought I'd share one of my recent gite classics....

New arrivals on Saturday. Sunday morning Madame 'needs-to-get-out-more' from Bescancon - calls out to me across a field to tell me about a problem she had last night.....

2 (not 200 mind you!) BIG hornets were spotted - one inside her gite, the other outside. She quite clearly demonstrated the size of them to me by holding her thumb and index finger as far apart as possible. 'Luckily' (quote) her husband and brother-in-law had managed to kill them.

Apparently she had tried to call me last night at 23h10 to tell me about this 'problem'. Unfortunately I was 'en fete' (!) so sadly didn't hear my phone ring :-( (shame)

So - what did she do? What would you do? Well - she called the pompiers! Rightly so - they refused to 'attend'. No more hornets spotted as at time of writing - guess they were just passing through......

I've got loads more stories but thought I'd kick things off with this one as it's so recent....

Care to share any ?

Simon :-)

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Yep, the guest who demanded an umbrella for shade in spite of the garden have plentiful leafy trees.

The ones that arrived at 11.15 am in spite of the 4pm arrival time and couldn't understand why the gite wasn't ready for them.

Stopped letting guests know I was a Dr - poolside consultations are sooooo tedious!

One set of regulars who bring all their own bedding.

The guests that said ''you are in Burgundy, you should provide snail forks'!
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[quote user="The Riff-Raff Element"][quote user="Théière"]

[quote user="JK"] The guests that said ''you are in Burgundy, you should provide snail forks'![/quote]

I sort of agree with that one

[/quote]

There is a certain logic.

I tend to take the view that our guests are always right because they make it possible for me to live here. [:)]
[/quote]

Wow Riff-Raff Element - you must be kidding ???

1. 'Guests' don't pay - clients / customers do

2. They are most definitely NOT always right! Who on earth calls the firemen for wasps?

3. Who on earth makes a living from gites ?? I do it for a bit of fun !

Simon :-)

 

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[quote user="Simon-come-lately"]Here we are in the middle of silly season....thought I'd share one of my recent gite classics... [/quote]

I have a magical bed in the gite.

I know it's magical because one week I was told it was "the worse bed I've slept in" and the following week it gave someone else "the best sleep he'd had in a long time."

I tell you. It's magic.

[;-)]

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I have a cottage in UK I rent too to 'vacanciers'

 

Once a jewish family came to rent it. They were a pest through out the whole booking process, endless phone calls and negociations. Having worked long ago in a hotel not far from North London where there is a sizeable jewish community, I knew how difficult they can be, so took it on the chin. Other than that I expected a normal family of mum/dad and 2 kids ...

So I clean the place up to the moment my knuckles are bleeding and my nails are none existant and await their arrival. Normally it is a Saturday change over but negociated they could come on the Thursday to stay 'til the next one. See ... No disturbance on the Sabbath ...

[:-))] Turns out that they were the strict jewish ones with the big long dark coats and wide hats, the women with wigs AND hats etc ... They were at a seminar at the university in the nearby town from here.

Not one family but 2 arrived in 2 ubiquitous Volvo Estates !! The adults had the bedrooms and the kids slept on the floor of the sitting room. And nevermind my thorough cleaning : they CLING FILM-ed all the counters in the kitchen, covered the cooker, the microwave, brought in their own mini cooker, their own fridge, the entire kitchen but the proverbial kitchen sink, their own bedding as in the duvets, pillows etc ... 

I went ever so diplomatically bezerk [:@] with them as for 1/ I got short changed [:@] and 2/ Should there have been a fire in that cottage with their own appliances and all that plastic/cling film, my insurance would have said 'sorry, you have contravened the terms !'

They stayed their week because of that seminar they had to attend and I prayed every night to my God that nothing else bad would happen... but Oh Dear! NEVER again ...

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Mr Awkward, who came early July, said on leaving that the coffee I offer as part of the "Welcome Package" was not up to his standard and a brand he would never consider drinking... [Www]

You're welcome...

I am somewhat relieved he did not find fault with the wine, the biscuits, the pâté or the jam... [:P]

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We are constantly surprised by the number of enquiries where the enquirer asks questions that are clearly answered by even a cursory look at the website (which is where they've seen us in the first place). Such as: How much for the week x to x? Look on the rates page. Can we book for 3 people........? It clearly states the gites are each for 2 people. How far are you from Calais? Well, as it says on the website.........

Yet when they arrive they seem quite normal and literate.
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I think that's a sort of property blindness which occurs after checking out too many holiday places in one day so leaving them utterly confused [8-)]

Next web site will have a down loadable PDF brochure so they are not left in any confusion. Not that we have had that problem but the relly's did, Inhabitants from the other side of the Atlantic absolutely sure broadband was available, still didn't believe it when every page of the website was printed out and presented to them.

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OK I don't run Gites or anything similar but I thought I'd share this with you.

In june my family and I went on hols to Protugal, never been there before and so booking a place was a bit random but we picked one we liked the look of.

When we got there it was super, just perfect in every way (and I told the owner so).  There was a Guest book for comments and most were upbeat and rightly praising the accommodation etc.

One entry caught my eye, which was not so enthusiastic saying  'You should provide an artist's easel and materials'  [:-))]

Yeah right

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