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Depression . Dont tell anybody you have a second home you might make them ill


Frederick
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Radio 4 this morning an expert on Depressikon stated it was the unfairness in society that was causing so much clinical depression and the governement has to tackle this . The have nots it appears are confronted by the sight of others doing so well and having so much and its making them depressed and suicidal . Like many on this forum I come from a have nothing background and now that I have moved out of that to the position I am now in ,I am damned if I am going to accept I am the cause of other peoples illness because my house is bigger than one down the road, and the occupiers might have to look at it going past .

Chiildren she states use the words "Its not fair " too early in life and that can go on to them feeling depressed . I dont recall the countries with everybody living the same lives like Russia and East Germany producing a happy depression free society a lot wanted to flee from it . I am sorry for people who have to live with mental illness and wish them a speedy recovery .But ...I dont think changing the make up of our society is the way we will cure it .
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Well said, Frederick.

Whatever happened to the word ENVY?  Didn't that characteristic belong to one of the List of 7 Cardinal Sins?

Now Envy becomes Depression , Gluttony becomes Comfort Eating, Sloth becomes Demotivation and so on.

As you say, it's always someone outside of themselves who are to blame.

Personal Responsibility is seriously unfashionable I know but, until that self-dependence returns to our psyche, we are condemned to living the same sort of lives because we think somebody else other than ourselves is at fault.

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I can't really knock the concept of Socialism, however, because I do think that it can be a Good Thing (even though it gets nary a mention in 1066 and All That).

Now Pride is surely Conservatism?

Go on, disagree by all means, Gengulphus, but please entertain me whilst you're disagreeing?[:D]

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Yeah, well, not as unpleasant as something I've just thought of![:D] 

If I'm ever in danger of feeling depressed I think about this; [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_too_shall_pass[/url].  If that doesn't work I consider this;[url]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3078/3165721000_8ef8a383ba_o.jpg[/url] and, if all else fails, I kick the cat...

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These people who "get depressed because they have less then others". Have they thought about educating themselves out of it?

Working for it? Changing their attitudes and doing something about it?

At the end of the day, it is always about choice, and today there are far greater choices and opportunities than ever, ever before.

I could quite easily go into depression after what's happened to me these past few months, but I choose not to and I choose to do something about it. Not saying it's easy, because it isn't, but the choice is still there.
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Father went down with his ship in Royal Navy WW2 also lost mother and twin sister in WW2 . Raised by an aunt.supervised by the state welfare system that looked after war orphans .Was one of the free school meal kids .Left school at 15 . no qualifications .Finished school on Friday started work in engineering workshop on the Monday morning. Went to night classes and later took civil service exam joined them . No student grant for me I am afriad I had to work my way up .
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[quote user="Scooby"]I'm guessing Richard, Frederick etc that you have both had good health throughout your working career, that you benefited from a free state education and qualified for a student grant? You are also both, notably, male.

http://www.universityworldnews.com/article.php?story=20091204100458266

[/quote]

Well you can focus on the negatives and how unfair life is and end up in depression, or you can just get your head down and focus on yourself.

Again, it's your choice.

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I'm not referring to me.  It's very easy to do well when you have good health and state support.  I left school at 16 to work in a factory - my mother made ends meet by working from home sewing trousers at 2p a pair but I was intelligent, able to do a college course in the evening (which didn't me cost anything but my time - hence government support) and had the health and energy to work may way up.   There are many that don't have the option of good health, free education and, hence, don't have these choices.

But it is exactly the reaction I would expect to get on an ex-pat forum for the early retired and second home owners. 

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Wow, Scooby, quite a bite in that last sentence! Many of those to whom you refer pulled themselves up from poverty by their braces. I also know some didn't have the benefit of good health, but probably did have free education, which they took full benefit of by studying hard.  I know I did. Also, not all on this type of forum own the properties they live in; renting is for them the way they can afford to live the life they wish to lead.

Unfortunately many in the present government wished to take free college education away from the current young generation, despite benefitting from it themselves. I find it very sad that so many young people start off their careers in debt; far better, I have always thought, to levy an extra tax on graduates when they reach a certain level of pay. I know I would never have gone on to higher education if it hadn't been free; to contemplate debt wasn't something I could have faced.  

I hope that the most of the very deprived youngsters I worked with over many years were inspired to strive their utmost to improve their lot after I had taught them to read, and aren't amongst those quoted as being depressed by the success of others. Actually, I thought that was a lot of tosh! People can find too many excuses for the way they lead their lives, and there seem to be plenty of people who connive with them to make them feel hard done by.

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I wasn't referring to "you" specifically. I was referring to the general "you".

In the western world, which is what this thread is discussing, pretty much everybody has the opportunity to further themselves in education and work.

Sure it costs, sure it's hard, nothing in life is free, and that all comes down to choosing whether to go down that particular path or not.

As for sickness, sure that also plays a part, but it's interesting to see how some of these people overcome the odds to do something extraordinary with their lives. They had to work and work hard for it, but they did it. They could have sat back and collected disability benefits or what have you, but they didn't. They chose to get off their backsides and work in order to accomplish something. And those people are inspîrational to me.

And also, how do you think these early retired ex pats got their second homes? By sitting on their bums doing nothing? Perhaps they worked hard for it too?

To make a better life for yourself requires a positive attitude, determination and the choice to do it.

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People should be encouraged to do according to their abilities with help as needed. Those who wish to sit on their backsides and not do should not receive. They are most often the ones who are jealous. Effort and the work ethic should be at the centre with compassion.

Scooby, I thought that last sentence was unworthy of you.

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Sorry GG but it has been my experience that many of those who have been blessed with health, support, free education cannot comprehend the difficulties faced by others who haven't had the same benefits.  Our family has fostered some children with horrendous backgrounds - and many of these children will never escape the traumas and experiences of their early childhoods.  One girl watched her father attack her mother with a hammer - her mother had 32 fractures.  She never got over the trauma and was an alcoholic by her early 20's.  Other have watched parents using and dealing heroin, or with mother's who have a succession of 'clients', 'Uncles' who aren't averse to a little bit of child abuse.  For the less extreme - those that don't start their education immediately or have an uninterrupted working career (even at 21) they are constantly swimming against the tide.  Many won't get offered an interview for even the most mundane of jobs.  I have watched CV's being ruthlessly weeded through - over a hundred applicants for a basic technician's job.  People with good degrees being put to one side for a job that would have been offered to a school leaver when I was training. Those coming out of university now will do so with an average debt on £34k - and, for most of them, with a degree that will not give them a higher earnings potential because pretty much everyone has a degree nowadays.   I work with a charity for people with a hereditary connective tissue disorder - I see them battle to try to keep employment and watch as recurring injury (fractures, dislocations etc) force them to give up on work.

The world has become a place of the haves and have nots and sometimes it is impossible to move from one group to the other.  But if you have never seen it close up you wouldn't know that...and maybe from the picturesque scenery of France you don't much care.

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Please don't write messages to me like that Scooby. I can only charitably assume you didn't read my post. I have known about such problems from an early age and have taught children with huge problems over many years, as I intimated in my post. I didn't go into specifics, and don't propose to do so, although I'm sure I could trump your aces if I did.
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I hate these kinds of articles because they turn complicted subjects into simplistic statements.  Mental health is something which it is easy to be flippant about if yours is good.  Depression and other mental illnesses are triggered by things which to one person are incomprehensible and to another, apparently similar one, are logical and understandable.  Two people from exactly the same background can react completely differently to the same thing.   Of course most of us aren't depressed by the success of others but if you are prone to depression then I have no doubt that today's "if you've got it, flaunt it" attitude to wealth can trigger deep feelings of failure and self loathing.  If people are the victims of the latter then to my mind, they deserve our compassion, not our derision.
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[quote user="gardengirl "]Please don't write messages to me like that Scooby. I can only charitably assume you didn't read my post. I have known about such problems from an early age and have taught children with huge problems over many years, as I intimated in my post. I didn't go into specifics, and don't propose to do so, although I'm sure I could trump your aces if I did.[/quote]

The reference to you, GG, at the start of the post was only because you started your post 'Scooby'.  The 'you' in my post was a general and plural 'you'. 

It's sad that you can trump my aces.  Life can be very unfair and cruel.

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[quote user="Scooby"] Life can be very unfair and cruel.
[/quote]

Indeed, and how many of us are so blessed that we have never personally experienced that unfairness and cruelty?

I guess not many can honestly raise their hand and say "not me"!

The horrible things are shared around all right but I dare say that some people get much more than their fair share.

As we're all in this human condition together, it's as well to remember that all that appears on the surface might not be what it seems.

Have a care as to what exactly you are saying to others:  you might be twisting knives or rubbing salt in wounds and the pain you cause would have been completely unnecessary and thoughtless.

BTW "you" here as others have pointed out on the thread does not refer to you personally, but to a general you.  Thank you for not attacking me!

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I have never been jealous of what others have in the negative begrudging, devisive (not sure if that is a real word) hate filled kind of way that is so prevalent where I now live, that said wanting to have/experience what some others undoubtedly took for granted is what gave me the ambition to pull myself up from a similar background to many of the posters here.

It took, and still does take a lot of hard work but that is what got me into the position of technically being able to retire early, I work harder than ever now on my building which is my investment for the future but live on the savings that I amassed whilst running my one man business not I hasten to add borrowings from any notional increase in UK property values.

Even though I now live a life of comparitive poverty and dress like an S.D.F there are those including family members that are  jealous of me, now clearly they cannot be jealous of my lifestyle, they mistakenly think that I must have a packet hidden away which in their opinion is going tro waste because if they had it they would spend, spend, spend.

I think jealousy/admiration for others acheivements can be a very positive force but unfortunately it can have another ugly face [:(]

Ironically where I live now people think that I must be really poor and have always been so because of the way that I am happy to live, by contrast in my area it is those taht have the least that like to be seen flashing it around, showing off their flashy possessions etc, except of course they dont actually possess them, the banks, leasing and revolving credit companies do.

We have a saying in Picardie, all of my land and buildings may have been reposessed but I must have a bigger and newer tractor than my neighbour [;-)]

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there is also a very big difference between suffering from clinical depression and "being a bit bit depressed" if jealousy is a factor then it's not depression. If it was as easy as pulling yourself together then there would be no suicides or clinically depressed people out there. It's very easy to be smug and righteous when you have good mental health.
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