Hereford Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 I am going to visit and get advice from the 'Social Worker" person regarding help for my elderly father (aged 89) in looking after my mother (a year younger) who has severe dementia (and is ALD agreed).Before I go it would be helpful to have any information or even better experience of getting help in these circumstances.My father has refused all offers of help (specialist and GP suggestions) as he "does not want somebody in the house doing nothing most of the time" and in any case "does not want odd people messing her about"...He is very fit but the strain is getting to him. She can go all "stiff" for no obvious reason and it is almost impossible for him to move her against her will. He says that what he needs is someone who will come when he telephones for 15 minutes when he has a problem. He will not allow me to do it (in any case I am 5'+not a lot and she is quite a bit bigger!!). The main problems he has are what one might call "hygiene".The only person Mum recognises is him and she is anxious if he is not visible - I sit so that he can go shopping and she can get really tearful no matter how much I say he will be back soon. I cannot look after her in my house as we have no downstairs toilet and to get her up the stairs is almost an impossibility.There is no family now in the UK as my children are also abroad (not France).The sort of things I would like to know in advance are: Is the help means tested? Day centres?Many thanks in advance for any thoughtsMrs H Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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