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Blodwyn
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Hello, I've not been on the forum for ages. Not sure if it's appropriate under 'Health' but I've been thinking about funerals as my husband is  nearing the end of his life.

Someone suggested a nationwide company that will arrange everything 'after one phone call' when the time comes and save me the stress of organising a funeral when very upset. I found the website and was sent a devi.  They've now said someone can come to the house. (I was going there.)

I don't want to seem mercenary but also don't want a hard sell and have no idea of the average cost of a funeral: cremation, no religious official, collect from home (I'm hoping I can keep him out of hospital), ashes returned to me - probably means collecting them.  I've heard there are some pretty unscrupulous funeral directors out there: charging twice for things, or for things they haven't done.  Any thoughts?

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I applaud your practicality in possible moments of grief.

IMHumbleO the best approach is to plan ahead as you are doing.

For such things in the UK, in my experience, Coop as a national company gives an OK service. Local services give a similar service as well.

So, either look at local providers perhaps via the Marie or friends if you feel confident in doing so, or go with a national provider.

The last thing you will want is to worry about being ripped off. I should think that all funeral directors will offer an all inclusive service and, yes, that is what you will definitely need.
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Very courageous of you to be looking ahead in this difficult situation, Blodwyn, and I am so sorry for the circumstances you find yourself in.

I think, as said above, it's a good idea to ask around locally. If you don’t have friends or neighbours who have organised a funeral and might advise you who they used, then a good suggestion above is to ask the staff at the Mairie.

The only time I was involved in organising one in France, we used a local pompes-funebres in the little town 5 miles away. They were brilliant; efficient, sympathetic; came to the house to collect the deceased (it had been a sudden, unexpected departure), and organised everything just as the bereaved wanted (no church service; just a brief ceremony at the crematorium with music and words chosen by the relatives). They were able to pick up the ashes from the undertaker later the same day.

I am sorry to say that I can't remember the cost, as I was not the one paying, and it was 15 years ago now, but I am sure it would be over the 1,000 euro mark. It depends of course on what coffin you choose, whether you want embalming and viewing; how far away the crematorium is, etc.

I have recently been helping organise my aunt's funeral in the U.K.: collection from hospital, keeping the deceased for more than 3 weeks, church service followed by cremation; hearse plus one limousine for family. Came to £3,000.

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Hello Blodwyn, Those were the exact circumstances in which my mother passed away two years ago. We'd discussed the 'aftermath' and she wanted a simple cremation, no fuss. We made absolutely clear to our local undertakers what was required and what wasn't! Even so, it was obligatory that she was taken to the funeral parlour for the coffin to be sealed officially. Bottom line, €3000. If I was you, by all means get a devis from these people, but also approach a couple of local undertakers. If anyone tries a 'hard sell', give them the push. Courage!
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We helped a local British family bury their mother two years ago. Transport to the crematorium, the non denomination service, transport of the ashes to the Cemetery in the village, opening of her husbands grave, Priest to do that ceremony, (same day as the crematorium which was 50km away) closing up etc came to just under €5000 if my memory serves. The local company organised it all. There is an "allowance" for this within the inheritance rules. It does not cover the "wake".
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My French MIL passed away in the summer and all I can say having witnessed the procedures (and heartbreak) involved is that you are right to getting this matter sorted now. There is a strict timetable involved.

I have never heard of any unscrupulous funeral directors operating in France so I would not worry so much in that respect.

It is quite expensive though and the cost will obviously be dependent on what type things you opt for. In our case the deceased was transported across France to their village of birth which I believe was quite expensive.

I'm not sure but I think cremation is actually more expensive.

Anyway

Courage.

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Blodwyn ........

My sympathy to you in what must be a very difficult time.

I have nothing to add to the advice given above, all of which sounds ‘on the ball’.

The only thing that I wanted to say (which may be of more interest to others reading your thread) is that we took out a funeral expenses policy with Pacifica a couple of years ago. For €3000 worth of cover, we pay roughly €16 / month, which seems like a reasonable deal to me.

Bon courage.

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Thanks for the responses.  My devi was for over 3000 euros so I guess that's about right.   A lovely person from Cancer Support France also thought the price wasn't unreasonable.  Husband agreed it was a good idea to sort in advance so tomorrow I'm going with a French friend to the funeral place. I've got another friends 'babysitting' as can't leave husband alone now.

It's seems a bit late for insurance but I think the  mutuelle might pay a bit.

The ongoing worry is when to suggest our children come over. If they come now, they could be here longer than employers allow for compassionate leave, but if they wait they may be too late to see their Dad again. At least they were here in December and one stayed till 2nd January.

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It's true that funerals in France are usually within about three days of the death, so arranging leave and travel from afar can be tricky.

For the one I was involved with, the bereaved relatives were in Canada, so it was necessary to delay things by a few days to give them time to get to western France from Montreal. It was all possible though, so do ask about extending the death-to-cremation period if necessary.

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The same lady we helped husband died a few years before her. I am sure you are ahead of the administration too, but things like the Carte Grise for one car was only in his name. She could not dispose of the car after his death without written permission of all the children, a long and complex procedure as one lived in the wilds of Canada. The same for Bank accounts/savings etc. its worth checking you will have access to all these things. For example there is a difference, I think, between M et Mme or M ou Mme for account signing.
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Re the carte grise, I believe that you can have you name added to it, or maybe transfer it to your own name now?

This link should be live.

You sound very practical and everything so far seems reasonable.

I always found funerals in France to be held very quick following the death. But that is just the way it is.

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Fortunately, I have not so far had any direct involvement with funerals in France but, having spent about 30 years dealing with probate in the UK, I have had a lot of experience with undertakers. Invariably, the small private firms were less expensive than the big nationals who seemed to sell bereaved families more than they probably required, and more than they would have agreed to if not in such a vulnerable position.

Another noticeable thing was that families with modest resources often went for, or were persuaded to choose, more lavish, more expensive options than did wealthier (cannier) clients.

And those whose dearly departed had paid in advance invariably found that there were a lot of "extras" that were not covered by the prepayment plan and which the national firms were very adept at selling to the bereaved.
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"I always found funerals in France to be held very quick following the death. But that is just the way it is."

Indeed, Idun, our French friends were very surprised that I delayed my trip back when my father died as we had to wait for the coroner's report etc, and that also we could choose the date .. which was not necessarily as speedily achieved as it would have been here in France.

I just told them that the rules were different in England!

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I did just that, put my OH onto my carte grise at the time of the initial French registration so that he could transfer it easily to his name in the event of my demise without going through the Notaire (so I thought).

However, when I tried to subsequently add my name to his carte grise at the Prefecture (when it was done there) the person behind the desk told me it made no difference, in that it still had to go through the inheritance procedure with the Notaire and get the permission of his son and she gave me a 3-page green form which would have to be completed.

Therefore, I didn't bother at that time but I wonder if it has been simplified for the co-titulaire?

Has anyone easily transferred it to the co-titulaire in those circumstances?

It would make things a whole lot easier for at least the vehicles and it is a good idea to sort out what you can in advance when you are clear thinking.

I should have asked the Notaire last time we were there.

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[quote user="Laurier"]
I did just that, put my OH onto my carte grise at the time of the initial French registration so that he could transfer it easily to his name in the event of my demise without going through the Notaire (so I thought).

However, when I tried to subsequently add my name to his carte grise at the Prefecture (when it was done there) the person behind the desk told me it made no difference, in that it still had to go through the inheritance procedure with the Notaire and get the permission of his son and she gave me a 3-page green form which would have to be completed.

Therefore, I didn't bother at that time but I wonder if it has been simplified for the co-titulaire?

Has anyone easily transferred it to the co-titulaire in those circumstances?

It would make things a whole lot easier for at least the vehicles and it is a good idea to sort out what you can in advance when you are clear thinking.

I should have asked the Notaire last time we were there.

[/quote]

On first reding this it occurred to me that a co-owner would have to sign the form(s) to relinquish their claim, which would not be possible if they had died.

However, according to the information Idun posted earlier LINK , it is not necessary in the (special) case of a married couple when one of them dies.

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Thanks for that. I read the link. We are not under the marital regime Communaute de Biens but Separation de Biens (English) and I think I am reading that documents testamentaires have to be produced in other cases, on death, which I presume is through the Notaire?  Maybe I have misread that but think that is what it is saying.

However, I shall print off the link and have another go. It can't do any harm to put us both on the Carte Grise and may well be enough to simplify the matter when  required.

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[quote user="Blodwyn"]
Hello, I've not been on the forum for ages. Not sure if it's appropriate under 'Health' but I've been thinking about funerals as my husband is  nearing the end of his life.

Someone suggested a nationwide company that will arrange everything 'after one phone call' when the time comes and save me the stress of organising a funeral when very upset. I found the website and was sent a devi.  They've now said someone can come to the house. (I was going there.)

I don't want to seem mercenary but also don't want a hard sell and have no idea of the average cost of a funeral: cremation, no religious official, collect from home (I'm hoping I can keep him out of hospital), ashes returned to me - probably means collecting them.  I've heard there are some pretty unscrupulous funeral directors out there: charging twice for things, or for things they haven't done.  Any thoughts?

[/quote]

Blodwyn, I can't add anything useful but just want to say I feel for you at such a difficult time. I hope you have enough help and support in the coming days/weeks. Bless you xx
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Thanks for all the responses.  I've only just come back to the forum as, very sadly, my husband died last week - so the plan to organize things in advance were irrelevant. I've got through it somehow and now there'll be all the admin, notaire, notifying banks, pensions, etc etc.

I've had wonderful help and support from friends and my sons but it will be hard.

I did want to transfer the carte grise to my name (we didn't realise we could have put it in both when we got French plates) but find it's not simple (what is, here!). It costs at least 270 euros, plus I have to get a new CT, as it's been over 6 months (8 in fact).  The garage can put it through the system quicker than I could and only charge 28 euros for that.

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Our thoughts and prayers go with you, Blodwyn.  Doing the paperasse will keep you occupied, with no time to brood, at least for a while.  When the time comes to cope with the grief, and the memories, as it will from time to time, with tears no doubt, remember we are all your friends here, and some have been there too.  Hugs from the forum.

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