Moving to France

[boo]

Hi I am new to the site so please excuse any errors I make.  My husband and I are hoping to retire to France at the end of the year and we really like the Languedoc Roussillon area does anyone know where other expats live in this region as we don't want to be totally alone, in being English.

 

[idun]

You needn't be alone, learn french, if you don't speak fluently already and then you can make friends naturally. Just 'being english' doesn't necessarily mean that expats would be people you would ever want to mix with.

And if you don't speak french fluently, then learn anyway. You have everything to deal with in french in France, well most things. Also you will be able to look things up and do your own research on french web sites.

[NormanH]

There are many around Montpellier, and in the villages. Pézenas is another place full of them.

You certainly wouldn't be alone.

[P-D de Rouffignac]

There is a village just south of Perpignan called Laroque des Albères, in the shadow of the Pyrenéés, which is well known for its British community - some friends of mine have recently moved there specifically for this reason. Drive to Perpignan is less than half an hour, and there is a huge supermarket complex and shopping centre on the road in from the south, without going into the centre of Perpignan. Mediterranean beaches also less than half an hour from Laroque. Note that from April, TGV rail link Perpignan to Barcelona direct (50 minutes!) for a change of scene and days out. Hope this helps your search a bit.

[idun]

Alone ......... never, there will be french in France to meet and get to know. And lots of brits in a place?? Well, why move to France in the first place, to live in what is basically an ghetto/enclave.

I will never understand this need/mentality, and I also have no time for the enclaves that other nationalities live in in other countries, ie the UK......... so despised by the likes of the Daily Mail although there are other newspapers that make comments.

[Frecossais]

Ghetto/enclave?  A bit strong Idun.

I think you will never understand that some people can want to live in another country but have the comfort(?) of being in touch with others who speak their own language.

You have a very different outlook, that's all.

[idun]

LOL isn't that the definition of a ghetto/enclave, wanting the comfort of living amongst one's own rather than 'living' amongst the indigenous population???? And then my thought is always, why are they there, why the move? Not on holiday? I do understand holidays.

So, do I understand it, I don't suppose that I ever will, because, my mentality is not live in such circumstances, it is quite alien to me. I remember well my embarrassment in having to ask for help when we first arrived in France, because ours was not a planned move, but merely a whim. And my only goal was independence and get on with french life, ASAP.

And in some ways I feel for the original expat inhabitants of some areas, as they surely will have had to debrouiller and learn french and the french way. Just how much those moving there later will have 'used'(and maybe abused), good natured folk and their knowledge and to what degree, I really dread to think.

I don't think that I have a different outlook to a lot of people. I would hear comments all the time in France about maghreban  ghettos....... the cités, many many french people didn't like it, and I hear similar things in the UK about pakistani and indian ghettos, so what is different with 'les anglais' who do this, nothing as far as I am concerned. It is groups of people who want the comfort of being with their own and much of their own culture, when they have chosen to move to another country.

[HoneySuckleDreams]

[quote user="idun"]LOL isn't that the definition of a ghetto/enclave, wanting the comfort of living amongst one's own rather than 'living' amongst the indigenous population???? [/quote]

No it isn't - I don't think you could be further from the truth - look it up

I understand where you're coming from, but the choice of word to highlight your argument doesn't work in this case.

[mint]

Don't worry, Id, you are NOT alone.  I, too, wonder why some people want to move over here, knowing from the very first that they need to have other people of their nationality around them.

Our dear nighbours have been here over 15 years and I was asked to help them complete their census forms yesterday!

How many of these forms would they have had to fill in over the years?  Did they not, once they'd been helped to fill in the first ones, photocopy the answers (if nothing else) so that they could have the satisfaction of doing it for themselves next time?

And why not take them up to the mairie and ask madame la secretaire, who is charm itself, to help them?  Ooh, er, I forgot, they don't even know the secretary's name and anyway, they'd have had to ask in French, silly me!

So, why did I just fill them in without any remonstrance?  Believe me, it was sheer pity.  

[Pommier]

I just think 'different strokes for different folks'. Some people want to be the only British person in the village, others want people of their own nationality within easy call. I don't see either as right or wrong, and so far as I can see, neither do the French. When we lived in Lot et Garonne our postman told us (with pride) how Eymet had a huge British population, how they had revitalised the town and how great it was for everyone.

On the subject of census forms, we've never had one in 11 years of living in France!

[Quillan]

[quote user="Pommier"]

I just think 'different strokes for different folks'. Some people want to be the only British person in the village, others want people of their own nationality within easy call. I don't see either as right or wrong, and so far as I can see, neither do the French. When we lived in Lot et Garonne our postman told us (with pride) how Eymet had a huge British population, how they had revitalised the town and how great it was for everyone.

On the subject of census forms, we've never had one in 11 years of living in France!

[/quote]

Absolutely. My BIL lives in Spain when he is not traveling the world. I wouldn't say he mixes just with Expats, he mixes with anyone who speaks English as he has no intention other than the odd polite word of learning Spanish. Actually the Spanish have learnt that it is more profitable to learn English (and some German although most Germans speak English)  because they can then get work from the English speaking community. It's better for the English who don't or won't speak Spanish because they have more options open to them and it has worked very well. Shame France has not, in some ways, embraced world languages like English and Spanish. In my opinion it somewhat holds them back. [:D]

If this couple want to live amongst Expats I really don't see a problem and I wish them the best of luck although after a few comments here I doubt we will ever hear of them again. [:P]

[HoneySuckleDreams]

[quote user="Quillan"]

Shame France has not, in some ways, embraced world languages like English and Spanish. In my opinion it somewhat holds them back. [:D]

[/quote]

 

Where we live Spanish speakers are quite common. English is taught, but with the same emphasis as Occitan. I would think that Alsace has a high proportion of French speaking German as well. I think it depends on the region.

I think learning (or trying to learn) french is a must as you can't rely on getting by if you don't as in the seven years we have been here there have only been three "british" (as one is a yorkshireman) people we have got on with. I don't know if that's a problem with us, or them [:(]

[mint]

Hold on, Q, I never said it was a "problem"!

I just wouldn't have bothered coming if I didn't want to make the most of my time here by learning the language and trying to understand as much of the culture as I could.

After all, I don't know how long I am going to be here so...I'm going to make the most of it whilst I can [:D]

[Frecossais]

[quote user="idun"]LOL isn't that the definition of a ghetto/enclave, wanting the comfort of living amongst one's own rather than 'living' amongst the indigenous population???? And then my thought is always, why are they there, why the move? Not on holiday? I do understand holidays.

So, do I understand it, I don't suppose that I ever will, because, my mentality is not live in such circumstances, it is quite alien to me. I remember well my embarrassment in having to ask for help when we first arrived in France, because ours was not a planned move, but merely a whim. And my only goal was independence and get on with french life, ASAP.

And in some ways I feel for the original expat inhabitants of some areas, as they surely will have had to debrouiller and learn french and the french way. Just how much those moving there later will have 'used'(and maybe abused), good natured folk and their knowledge and to what degree, I really dread to think.

I don't think that I have a different outlook to a lot of people. I would hear comments all the time in France about maghreban  ghettos....... the cités, many many french people didn't like it, and I hear similar things in the UK about pakistani and indian ghettos, so what is different with 'les anglais' who do this, nothing as far as I am concerned. It is groups of people who want the comfort of being with their own and much of their own culture, when they have chosen to move to another country.

[/quote]

No Idun, but you have a different outlook from people who do want to live in France and at the same time socialise with other British who live here.

That's fine and their views are fine too. It's called freedom of choice.[:)]

[andyh4]

[quote user="HoneySuckleDreams"][quote user="Quillan"]

Shame France has not, in some ways, embraced world languages like English and Spanish. In my opinion it somewhat holds them back. [:D]

[/quote]

 

Where we live Spanish speakers are quite common. English is taught, but with the same emphasis as Occitan. I would think that Alsace has a high proportion of French speaking German as well. I think it depends on the region.

 

In my experience learning German ranks just above learning Alsatian - which seems to be a dialect of German (well of sorts anyway)

I think learning (or trying to learn) french is a must as you can't rely on getting by if you don't as in the seven years we have been here there have only been three "british" (as one is a yorkshireman) people we have got on with. I don't know if that's a problem with us, or them [:(]

[/quote]

 

I agree totally that the OP should be prepared to learn and use French - if they then want to mingle mainly with English speaking groups, well that is for them.  However, believing that you wil "get by" relying solely on the ex-pat community and not speaking or understanding French is dangerous. 

 

The one additional word of caution I would make, is that choosing your friends because they speak English, rather than because you have common interests and values may not always be the right decision.

 

 

EDIT:  The highlighted "high" was meant to be crossed through.  Seems the forum software does not cope with crossed through words.  It shows crossed through here but not when posted.  Hey-hum

[Quillan]

[quote user="andyh4"]

The one additional word of caution I would make, is that choosing your friends because they speak English, rather than because you have common i[/quote]

That is so true, you pick your friends regardless of language, colour, sex and religion. Many people have arrived in France and I include myself who never spoke a word till they got here and I don't consider that a major problem. The language is difficult and many people do struggle with it and once your of a certain age for many it is almost impossible to create the unique sounds that are required to pronounce words properly. However that shouldn't put you off trying but you shouldn't feel bullied in to learning, just learn at your own pace.

If you already speak French then you don't need to go out hunting for somebody fluent or bilingual but they do exist and are not always difficult to find. For finding out how to do things there is always this forum and others. People on our forum don't know it all and have to ask, we always see loads of posts from people who have been living here 10 years or more when it comes to filling out the annual tax return. Both the questions and answers are usually given in English as well.

[Cendrillon]

"............................does anyone know where other expats live in this region as we don't want to be totally alone, in being English."

This was the phrase in the original question. They did not say that they don't speak any French, they just wanted to know whether there might be expats (not even British) in the area for company. Of course as we all know, a knowledge of French will enhance their experience.

[idun]

[quote user="HoneySuckleDreams"]

[quote user="idun"]LOL isn't that the definition of a ghetto/enclave, wanting the comfort of living amongst one's own rather than 'living' amongst the indigenous population???? [/quote]

No it isn't - I don't think you could be further from the truth - look it up

I understand where you're coming from, but the choice of word to highlight your argument doesn't work in this case.

[/quote]

My understanding is that ghetto can be used when impoverished people end up living together. In this case the people are socially and intellectually impoverished by seeking to live amongst their own. If there is another word, I would be happy to hear it...........[:D] my alternative would be 'colonialists'?

[idun]

Frecossais said: No Idun, but you have a different outlook from people who do want to

live in France and at the same time socialise with other British who

live here.

That's fine and their views are fine too. It's called freedom of choice.[:)]

So who get's 'used'  in this scenario, because someone does, unavoidable isn't it. What with the utilities, tax forms which must be sent in every year, health problems, and ofcourse as sweet17 said, the census.

I suppose that the selfish will say that they have lovely friends/neighbours for those who help, or maybe they just take these good hearted people for granted. And maybe have something nasty to say about anyone who tells them to allezvousfairequelquechose because they won't bail them out and be their free clerks.

[NickP]

[quote user="idun"]Frecossais said: No Idun, but you have a different outlook from people who do want to live in France and at the same time socialise with other British who live here.
That's fine and their views are fine too. It's called freedom of choice.[:)]


So who get's 'used'  in this scenario, because someone does, unavoidable isn't it. What with the utilities, tax forms which must be sent in every year, health problems, and ofcourse as sweet17 said, the census.

I suppose that the selfish will say that they have lovely friends/neighbours for those who help, or maybe they just take these good hearted people for granted. And maybe have something nasty to say about anyone who tells them to allezvousfairequelquechose because they won't bail them out and be their free clerks.


[/quote]

Just because you profess to speak French, why is it that you and others like you think that nobody else can deal with the language difficulties. Lots of us arrived and will continue to arrive in France without a single word of the language and we don't all go running to the "self proclaimed integrated" We ask for help; of course we do, we buy dictionaries, we go to lessons. So why the  attacks from you, and how do you know that everybody abuses the good will of people who help them? Remember those that get help, give help, mind you; maybe not in your case.

[Kong]

Page 3. Must be vitreol time!

[Gardengirl]

Debate: is vitriol on page 3 better than having topless pictures?  [:D]

[Kong]

Never had much taste for acid......., on the other hand?

[Daft Doctor]

We have been in France nearly a year now and I'm very pleased we tried to learn French before we came and that we have continued learning and trying to speak French whenever possible since we arrived. Fact is that it helps greatly to do so, and in such an intensely bureaucratic country I think it is so much easier to deal with the administration intrinsic to day to day living. We thought there were a few Brits in our town, as it happens there are many many more than we expected. Naturally we are friendly and sociable with a few of those families, as apart from making the same bold move to live abroad we also have other things in common. We have also socialised with local French people however and remember feeling it a great achievement to survive our first visit to a French family for Sunday lunch, given the language challenges it presented.

Ultimately I agree that it is absolutely horses for courses, and for some it is preferable to find a niche in France where the language really isn't important, but personally I envy our British friends here who now speak French effortlessly.  I want to be like them and be comfortable in both languages, that ambition encourages me to keep learning and listening.  There is a long way to go, but to have the French immobilier complement me on my progress with the language, to have a builder friend ask me along to help with some English clients 'qui parlent mal le français' and have our visitors from the UK express their surprise at how much we seem to have picked up really makes me feel good (though I pale into insignificance compared to our 11 year old, who has progressed fantastically through immersion in the language at school).  That reminds me, must get those grammar books out and do my homework for next weeks lesson!

Good luck to the OP, whatever their circumstances it would be a big life-changing move.  My advice is to do as much research as possible on as many aspects of life in France, ask as many questions as you can think of, and even then expect the unexpected once you get here.  I am so grateful for all the help we were given through this forum, whether it was information, advice or opinion (be it negative or positive).  Thanks again for all that btw!  [:D]  

[boo]

As I started this thread I would just like to say both my husband and I are learning French and would love to associate, be friends with and live with French people in their country, I do think we would like to associate with ex pats as well.  Thanks to all for your interesting comments.

Boo