cooperlola2
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Posts posted by cooperlola2
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Well I did my best to head off MIL. I was in the hospital by 10.45 - no sign of her. I was told that as it was early, I could only have a few minutes with Deb, who was still asleep, but they needed to finish a procedure first. Odile's bedside vigil is not on their agenda! So after waiting a few minutes, and sitting with Deb for a while, I was out by 11.30. I had warned the nurses of MIL's impending visit, and the dubious reception Deb might give her. I returned at 3, the statutory visit time, but still no MIL. Again I had to wait while they undertook a procedure, but then spent about 30 minutes with sleeping Deb, before, again, I was asked to return to the waiting room, while something else was done. Having waited over an hour, I enquired further, and was immediately allowed back in - the nurse had left, the doctor had come in, and I wasn't part of the handover, so I wasn't recalled. I asked the doctor about the substantial number of procedures being carried out, and she assured me that this was entirely normal, and Deb was making normal progress. Again, she told me that Deb would wake up when she was ready. She then asked if I would prefer Deb to be moved closer! I was delighted to accept, of course, and we agreed Le Mans is the place, as it almost certainly has Reanimation Chirurgicale facilities. I'm not going to count my chickens on this one, but as it was her idea, it may have little legs, if not actually wings!
Still no MIL when I left at 5, and no messages from her on my phone at home. Very odd.
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Deb is not in a coma, has not been in a coma She arrived at hospital conscious. All her sleep has been induced by medicine, for the best of reasons. She is getting the best of care, will be very woozy for some time to come, drifting in and out of sleep. She will be in a lot of pain. She will know I've been there. I can't "fend off" her mother, who will be seen by the staff as a brave little woman who has come all this way. And this is Deb we're talking about!
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I rang Rouen today, and found that Deb is still asleep, so I did not bother to drive the 240 mile round-trip! Lazy, or what? The slightly better news is that the medication that had been keeping her under has now been withdrawn, so she will now wake up "naturally" when her body decides it is the right time. I do not anticipate that she will be a barrel of laughs from moment 1, however! Sadly, this may mean the first familiar face she sees will be her mother's, as she's on the night boat from Portsmouth tonight. Deb will immediately conclude that she's died and gone to hell! My only chance is to ring very early tomorrow, and if she's awake, leg-it there vite!
Now, where's my copy of How to Speed in France, by Jean D'Armerie?Totally supporting the wise words of several on here and elsewhere, a neighbour who I've not previously met happened past last night, and we fell into conversation. I explained about Deb - and he announced that he's a nurse. He said that if the head and spinal chord have survived ok, then a full recovery is very likely. More cause for optimism!
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The MIL problem is that she will ring here at least once a week to talk to Deb! I can only make excuses for so long! Seriously, though, even on Weds morning, when I elected to tell her, there was an 'orribly big chance that something undetected would get up and bite Deb, and that would be that. I didn't fancy telling the woman that her daughter was dead without prior advice of the accident. She has, after all, already lost the elder daughter a few years back. I have no wish to be a parent - Deb was insistent on that before we married - but I do see that you expect your kids to outlive you.
She is not proposing to come near La Sarthe, will stay in the hospital accom, and probably be gone by Friday. As with many lonely people - divorced many years, and largely ignored by her daughters, each of whom much preferred dad in their adult years - she desperately needs a role in life, and here's a chance for one! She may give Deb a relapse, which will assist the hospital in making her PNG, no doubt!
As for dealing with matters medical - nor do I! I have been known to faint when people talk in detail about such things! Many years ago, an ailing member of my staff sat and talked in glowing detail about how wonderful it was now he had a dialysis machine at home! I struggled to stay upright!
By and large women are better at this sort of thing - all sorts of womanly events make them better atuned to it, perhaps. Deb is not typical, in this respect. The good news, as I found when I broke my left patella a few years back, is that medical events that happen to you are much more palatable, because you like the resulting recovery!
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Must say you lot do a good job of making light of my gloom - thanks for that! I'm going back on Monday, but I may ring first, on the basis that the full Monday contingent on the ward will have time to tell me what and how, perhaps, so I turn up with a better idea of what to expect.
Further txt on a related subject deleted by the poster!
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Sadly, today's news is not so good. I arrived about 16.15, waited an hour and a half, and then found Deb was still unconscious. I think there were fewer drug inputs, and fewer monitors - but she'd gained an oxygen tube, which is a bit worrying. Clearly Saturday afternoon staffing is more in line with NHS levels, and the few people on duty were busy. I did find a doctor, and expressed my concern that things were not as I'd been told to expect them when I saw the doctor on Thursday. As far as I can gather, they are not happy about her lungs, hence the oxygen, and had been doing tests to find out what is wrong. I asked about pneumonia, but that is not the problem. Perhaps nearly 40 years of puffing away is catching up with her when she least needs it. The left leg is now plastered round the ankle, so clearly that has gone ahead as planned. Deb had a cushion against the broken ribs. She has bad bruising on her left shoulder.
I'm sure this is a temporary blip, and next week things will get going again. -
Accommodation at the hospital is available and has been offered. Frankly, it is not what I need. That would be appropriate if Deb were at death's door, which is not apparently the case. I need to get back here every day to do this task of updating everyone else, to look after animals (yes, I've plenty of friends who would do that, and the dog has been away since Tuesday on that basis), and to do the admin. It also helps me to get my head together. Commuting is best in this case. Even when Deb is sitting up and has all her faculties, a couple of hours a day together will be fine for us. You will already be aware of Deb's independence in most situations - hence the fact that she'd just had a 3-week break in the UK, doing her own thing, as every year.
I think the option of talking to MAAF face to face works best, and I'll try to start that next week - I've several fluent-French-speaking Brits about. The conversations I've had to date were by phone in terms of reporting the accident. Now another tack seems necessary. Sadly, and bafflingly, I am unable to locate anything resembling a schedule for the insurance. This is unknown, because Deb is meticulous about careful filing - if it ain't in the file, it'll be in the filing tray, but no sign. We must have taken the papers to MAAF a few months back, when we signed up for my Skoda to be added to the policy, thus making a saving over existing cover by another assurer. That policy becomes effective 7.9.2008, but I have no idea whether it's been paid for! Whoops!
Anyway, with all the jolly problems that this set of facts seems to offer, I'd better toddle off, shower and go to Rouen.
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Yes, both airbags deployed. The one in front of Deb had some blood on it, but otherwise there was really very little of that precious stuff about, thank God. No doubt that helped her survival - she wasn't losing blood very fast.
I think I feel a need coming on - and one of you will know how to get closer to my goal. I am now faced with a journey of 240 miles, let's say every other day. Our remaining car is a 7-yr old Skoda, with 56k miles on it. I think, now the gendarmes have made it clear Deb was innocent, that I should have use of a hirecar with free fuel to make those trips, but my halting French isn't going to make a very strong case when the lady at MAAF explains why it can't be provided until the whole claim has been settled.
Where is my lever under her stone, please? Any ideas?
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Circumstances of the accident have now been revealed, following my conversation with the gendarme responsible today. It was in no way Deb's fault. A lorry, which may have swerved to avoid a car or cars in front of it, came across the white line and hit Deb head on. No-one else was injured.
I have spent an hour retrieving things from the wreck of the car, and am very impressed with how little damage there is. The engine has stayed pretty much in place - quite different from the old days when it tended to try and join you in the cabin on such impacts. The rear passenger door still opened and closed. The roof is missing, having been removed by the Sapeurs/Pompiers in releasing Deb.Deb had always fancied a convertible Micra, and now she'd got one when too ill to enjoy it! Seriously, if you want a small car that will protect you, Nissan Micra is a good bet. I'm sure Deb would have another.
The gendarme, who acted brilliantly on the day, calling me twice to let me know where Deb had been taken, had taken her handbag, camera and laptop, as well as a couple of holdalls, into police care - they were handed over today, with her passport. But in the car there was a complete mess of horse-feed, Diet Coke and Heinz Baked beans (4-packs, of course). Surprisingly two jars of Sainsbury's Hollandaise Sauce survived, as did several bottles of Saumur which had clearly not been drunk in England. The camera - a Nikon D70 with new-ish 70-300 Vibration Reduction (ooh!) lens - is not going to take further pictures, I think. But if someone else was responsible for the accident, then a claim looks likely, so redress in some form may emerge in due course.
I expect to see Deb in Rouen tomorrow.
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Cooperlola update! I saw Deb tonight - but she was "asleep" at the time! She had just returned from 8 hours (yes) in theatre fixing her right knee. The reason she was still asleep is that they'll leave her that way until tomorrow, when they will mend the comparatively simple break on the left leg. The right wrist has been done, and apparently the left is ok - no break. Then she will be woken up - and given the little present I left, which is a picture of her favourite cat, Cooper! The ribs - three are broken on the right side - will not be fixed, which is the norm.
She is in the Reanimation Chirurgical Unit, which is the Intensive Therapy Unit -French Style. She has so much stuff by her bed, with all sorts of drugs being administered and monitors going left right and proably centre. I was "shown round" by a delightful young doc and her even prettier student. I had to wear a gown and wash my mits before entering. Once again, I am entirely impressed with the level of care and professionalism. If Deb doesn't make a full recovery, it will not be for lack of effort by the hospital, that is quite certain.
A car crash is a violent event. I am pleased to say that apart from a bit of bruising and a couple of small marks on her chin, Deb's face has not suffered - not that that would worry her very much, anyway!
I expect to visit again late Saturday, when conversation may be posible. More then.
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Just a minor update, having spoken to Rouen at 16.30. I had a call this morning asking what blood group Deb is! Not quite my field, so they had to do a test. It emerges that they were giving her a transfusion because she was losing a little, and they wanted to x-ray the arteries in the right knee, where much work must be done. Evidently the x-ray was good, so I think we may expect the op quite soon. I am pencilled in for a visit tomorrow, but will only go if they are confident that I can see her.
Thanks to all for the kind and encouraging messages. Today everything I've done has felt like the deckchair re-arrangement on the Titanic. Being strong is needed, and your support helps. I am lucky that we have a number of Brits hereabouts who are stepping forward, so I am not alone.
More anon.
Ian
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I am very humbled by the outpouring of warmth on here - clearly Deb has hit the mark wih the nature of her contributions. Of course, that's no real surprise to me after 35 years together! She is the organiser in our marriage, which makes the next few month look a trifle scary.
It was suggested that the FHI site should say something - I have sent a note but have had no response. I do wonder if they think Deb is now back in the saddle! Be assured that any representation of my message this morning, in any place you feel appropriate, has my full blessing.
Thanks for being a super bunch!
Ian
cooperlola2 (I'm often several laps behind her, anyway!)
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Good morning. I aplogise for my intrusion, but I have important news re my wife, member cooperlola, I think.
She was driving back from the UK yesterday when involved in a crash on the RN12. She was airlifted to Rouen where she has been diagnosed with multiple fractures of arms, legs, ribs. Vital signs appear ok, and she was apparently conscious and somewhat alert on arrival in hospital. I expect to visit Thrusday, and will be pleased to update on here if that is appropriate.
I am so ignorant on forum discipline that I do not know how to boadcast this news in any other way (my Groups tend to be Yahoo, which work differently!) and cooperlola's computer is not a friendly place for a husband to lurk!
Again, for those who neither know nor care, I apologise, but please try to understand my position!
Ian
cooperlola2
Forum Member cooperlola
in Other Topics
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Sadly no info on socks here - although I'm in the middle of washing plenty of cooperlola socks and undies and teeshirts and - hey what's a dress doing in here? A dress? Must have been when she was staying on Dartmoor with MIL - dressing for dinner, perhaps.
I have two other things that I need help with. First these posts - how the hell do I get the dreadful Times font off, once and for all? It looks as though it was devised in 1732 - and it should have stayed there! Arial please. Also every para seems to be double spaced, and there is apparently no spell-check. What sort of cheap and nasty package is this - it has no place in C21! If there's no answer to all that, you won't hear from me after cooperlola returns, that's certain.
More seriously, I am well hacked-off with MAAF. Having rung the claims lady, a Madame Beauvoir, twice, she is au fait (hey, French, what!) with the fact that Deb is out of it, and has multiple injuries - I even listed them to her, So she writes to Deb, and sends a standard claim form, even asking for Deb's driving licence number - which Deb must have shown to the agent when the contract was signed. And what does the number have to do with anything, anyway - it's so French!There is an insulting form for Deb to sign that is to certify she was sober, and it's up to Deb to provide details of the vehicle that hit her, the name of the driver, and so on. So, sitting in her crumpled car, with multiple injuries, she used her broken wrist to note down names and numbers. Yeah, right. Then we get to a part of the form where the number of children is to be listed. What? Are they gonna pay more to mothers than women who choose not to have kids? Discrimination! And of the environmentally wrong sort - the planet's hopelessly overloaded, and the last thing we need is kids! The French insurance industry is an expensive closed shop - no Direct Line-type predators to shake it up - and the dodges like registering letters to ensure receipt are off any scale of reasonable business practice. Too many offices, with, on this evidence, incompetent staff. Again, anyone with ideas for making this woman's incompetence known to her employer - and what that does for his business, will be enjoyed!