britgirl

Don't be too hard on your friends son. We all react differently when some one we love dies. When my husband died I was only mentally capable of phoning very close family. I e-mailed every one else, making each one personal, rather than an impersonal ' letter to all'. I recieved many e-mails and telephone calls back. In fact I have kept all condolence cards/e-mails, you can't keep a record of a telephone conversation.  Contact him in the way you feel happiest.

From my experience they may offer to let you have headphones and listen to a CD, which you may find calming, in fact they asked us to bring a favourite CD in, you might want to ask them about this.  

Hi, If you are really intending to go back to the U.K. on a permanent basis, is there any reason why you couldn't register with a U.K. doctor using a U.K. address and keep  your French address as a holiday home. If  you have a French house to sell, you would then have a date to work with, which might keep you in the 'spirit' of the law.  Whilst it may not be ideal you may be covered for any future health problems.

Hi, So sorry to read of your predicament. I am in a very similar situation. I was widowed last year and  am now waiting for a completion date on my  French property. This should happen in the next 3 weeks or so. I spoke to my notaire last week as to whether or not I could have 3 separate cheques  paid into my French bank account, but I gained the impression that this was not acceptable.  My children  (they're 31 and 29!) have to give him the details of their  U.K.bank accounts so that the money can be electronically paid to them.. They will then 'gift' the money to me. As my son is the tax manager for a firm of accountants, I'm hoping that any U.K. tax problems will be easily sorted out. Hope this is of use to you.

Thank you all for the help and advice. The good news is that without having to use 'strong arm 'tactics the Insurance company have , in my 'particular circumstances', agrred to pay up without a medical cause of death. This was due to the fact that the policies had been in place since the early 1980's and that a large amount was not involved. (what is large?) The main reason for posting was to make people aware of the problem, and what was the best way of dealing with it. I know I'm not the only one who has encountered this situation, but if I can make things any easier for anyone else then maybe Jeff didn't die in vain. As someone once said we have been forced to become members of a club we never wanted to join.  Best wishes

Steff, I'll e-mail you privately. It 's sometimes helpful to 'chat' to someone has been through a similar experience

Thank you all for your comments. I am well aware that there has been a lot in the press recently regarding a faked death, and am not offended by this being raised. It would be a natural question to ask and indeed another insurance  company did ask for cause of death, and accepted our word. The problem is that I  ( my son actually)  am dealing with a Swiss based company, and they are not part of the E.U. These policies were originally taken out in the 1970/80's and I am sure they were then a British based company. My son is awaiting a phone call from the company to see if in this case they will finalise things without me having to obtain further evidence. I'm not even sure whether the hospital would give me these details anyway. I'll keep you updated, and hope that common sense prevails.

I know this is a difficult subject, but I think it is an important one, as many people may be unaware that the cause of death is not disclosed on the certificate. My husband had a tumour removed from his kidney 11/06/2007 and sadly it was found to be not only cancerous, but also very aggressive, and he died some 20 weeks later 29/10/2007 aged 55 and I was 53. The U.K. government have not questioned the death, and I am in receipt of widow's bereavement allowance until 28/10/2008. His former employers (he was a policeman)  have not queried this and I am recieving a reduced pension. Other organisations have also accepted the certificate and have no problems with dealing with any monies that may be due to me. I am having problems with a 'neutral' european insurance company who, unless I can convince them otherwise, are insisting that I return to the hospital where he died and obtain a hand written, authenticated letter  giving cause of death. This means that once again I am having to ask friends for  help (and it is freely given) in a very distressing situation. It will open many painful memories for them and me.  The same company has also asked for the names and addresses of 2 non family members who attended the cremation. I understand that this company are well known for this way of dealing with  claims. For me, at the moment, I am not dependant on the money, but for some people it could have a huge impact. It's hard enough losing your husband, without having to deal with the insensitivity of a large internatioal company. It would appear that I should have asked for the letter giving cause of death when he died.!! Maybe it would be an idea for the forum administraters to have a section dealing with bereavement. I have freely given all the information I have learnt to friends etc, but France is a huge place. Whilst there may be small differences from one department to another, I would be willing to share our experience, if it would help someone else. Don't be sad for me. We were so lucky that we were able to realise our dream, even if it was for a short time. Not many people are able to say that.  

How about rhubarb and raspberries? When we lived in the U.K. it made a good combination for jam. The homemade wine wasn't too bad either.

I've had to work out a budget as a 'single' person and I had to allow a minimum of 600 euros per month to allow for all essential bills. (I would prefer to slightly over-estimate). Being a single person does not necessarily mean that your bills are halved. To this you have to add food, petrol/diesal,  wear'n' tear, entertainment(?)  and have an emergency fund. You also have to take in account  the type of life -style you lead. You may  also have to factor in return trips to the U.K. At the moment the exchange rate means your 'guaranteed' income no longer exists and that is something else you have to consider. Hope this is of some help.  

Aren't you a lucky chap!! Yet again it's raining here.  Tell me, was God/or any other Deity,  male or female? You (not to be taken personally) have a lot to answer for.

I've had a similar problem in Brittany, and have had to resort to 'shopping channels' in the past. The French have a differant approach to sending cards, hence the problem with sourcing basic materials. I've now learnt to 'think outside the box' and it's surprising how inventive you can be. My best buy so far has been 144 paper roses intended for bridal favours for 1.65. I now swap ideas etc  with friends and family, usually to their advantage..  There are also one or two craft suppliers available by post. The trick is to make the most of having to pay  P&P. I know now what to do with the yards of 'french' knitting that I did as a child, and it's also surprising what you can do with pom-poms (thinks;I must get a life). Bon chance

I hate anyone touching my feet, especially my toes. The only useful purpose they serve is to stop you falling over.

I've always believed that what goes on 'behind closed doors ' should always remain there. Unless you were privy to all conversations how can you pass judgement? To do so is a tad naive. My cup (as an optomistic ) was always half full. The O/H as a pessimist was half empty. Who do you believe? Am I cynical ?

Cat, You have my full admiration. Go for it. When we were in the U.K. the O.H. was a traffic officer and was very often the first to arrive at the scene. He always said that he went into 'auto-pilot' because he had to keep a cool head, until ambulance/fire crews arrived. They would take over and he would help in any way neded by them. The reality of what he had seen was best dealt with by talking it over with others who had been there . A sort of early self help group. Sadly we have had to use the local pompiers for two 'blue light' runs, and the women were an integral part of the team. They had to help stretcher him downstairs. I never knew our stairs were so well made. It was also fascinating to watch, because they all had their specialised roles. Once he had been assessed any equipment not necessary was packed away, and the problem was dealt with. I'm sure you will have plenty of support and training. Just checked the calender and we have 4 female pompiers. Best of luck

I think he's made Bread and Butter pudding. Much nicer if you substitute half the milk with Baileys or something similar. The bread pudding my mum used to make was more of a slab and it certainly filled you up. [geek]

Not good the[+o(] next day, but never mind http://uk.youtube.com/results?search_query=red+red+wine&search_type= Still more practise needed.

Many thanks for the help and advice. So sorry Pierre ZFP but once (if) I sell here the strimmer has already got a new home. Buckdendave: I still think that even with a lighter petrol strimmer, I will still have the same difficulty. I have problems 'firing' up the lawnmower                        as well.I don't have enough upper body strength. Tracteurtom: Thanks for the tips. As a complete 'numpty' about anything mechanical (computers included) I think I may have to call a few                      favours in. The good news is that I can use the tractor for most things. All I have to do is turn a key.[:)] Just as well my cup is always half full and not half empty, and I can still laugh at the mistakes I make.  

Nope. Couldn't get it to work. I obviously need more practise.

Cold and wet in Brittany. This makes me feel warm anyway. http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=y04kUI1mrVc Hope this works.

The male is a domesticated animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.                                                               Jilly Cooper [blink]

Does anyone have any experience of using electric strimmers. I need something that is 'man' enough to cope with the edges of my field which is just under 4,000 sq. mtrs. I've got more than enough cable, from caravanning days, to reach the far end, so that will not be a problem.   At the moment I've got a petrol one (Stihl FS 80)  but I don't have enough strength in my arms to fire it up. It also too heavy for me. Many Thanks.

C'mon boys! Ronnie Peterson won the 1974 Monaco Grand Prix. He drove for Lotus Ford. He sadly died at Monza 11/09/1978. My O/H became disenchanted with F.1. in the mid 'naughties'. Last year we had a great agreement. He would watch the first few laps, fall asleep, and I would wake him to watch the last 2-3. Every one was happy.(?) Can we talk about something else? What was the worst meal you've ever had and why?. We used to go to a pub in Devon and had a pretty good idea of what we would have. Unfortuantly it had changed hands. I had to order mixed meat salad and was very disappointed that  the meat was pre-packed. we paid the bill, left and would not reccomend it to anyone. Over to you. .

Bit of a disaster really. Our holiday company went bust 36 hours before we got married in 1974. So instead of a fortnight in Ibiza we spent the first week in Brixham, and the second week replacing the car engine which had blown up. Too much travelling between Plymouth and Bath, before the A38 was completed.  I'm still surprised I actually made it down the aisle. My head dress was lost, my dad rushed into hospital, the car blew up, and the honeymoon was differant. All that in a week  At least it didn't rain. C'est la vie