Le Scouse

If I was feeling cynical.. I'd say your post sounded like an advert

Hi,   Will's comments about the one way nature of typical Satellite Internet are as usual spot on. I have clients who run a graphics company (web site designers basically). They relocated to a beautiful area but could not get broadband where they were.They took advice from a "Comms expert" and spent over £1500 getting a system which was totally unsuitable for them. They had an upload/download ratio of 30:1 and therfore spent a fortune on a dial-up connection, taking hours to send content to their customers at 56kps and had a patchy download experience (Ranging from perfect to pathetic) for occasional browsing. Basically it will depend on what type of connectivity you need. If you just want to surf, and have a very clear line of sight then it "Might" be a good option, but it's expensive and without a landline, you'll be able to get your email, but typically not be able to reply to it   Lee

[quote user="WJT"] When you ask the question of preference between plasterboard or plaster, my answer would be plaster hands down but how could this be achieved without plasterboard. In other words, how would you construct the walls or cover the interior of a roof without first using plasterboard prior to plastering? As you can see, I am not that experienced in this area and I assumed you had to use plasterboard. [/quote] Before plasterboard was invented, the only way to create partitions was to create a frame and span little strips of wood across the uprights called laths. These were sometimes twisted around the uprights, a bit like weaving a wicker basket, but usually they were just tacked onto the frame A thick plaster was then applied which seeped through the gaps but clung to the laths. A few coats later you had a "solid" wall. The advantage is that it actually feels solid and you can fix things like shelf brackets to it with more confidence than with plasterboard. the disadvantages are:- Cost - Plasterboard is ridiculously cheap Time-Platerboarding is quick (and if using an artisan is therfore Cheaper) Ease of use - plastering is a skill.. nailing plasterboard to a batten is childsplay Finish - If you want smooth clean finishes, the basic job is done instantly with plasterboard. You can just run tape over the joins. Some people then paper over it directly. If you want a plaster finish, it requires only a very thin screed. L&P has to be built up in layers (apply too thick a coat and it will crack when it dries) Convenience- Less mess and easier to construct. I do not know anybody who has ever created lath and plaster walls unless they were sticking to some archaic guidelines for true RESTORATION. Note that renovation differs enormously from restoration. Practicality - You can hide cables and pipes by encasing them in plasterboard, and even retro fit after boards are fitted. This is much harder with L&P. Also to gain access to a void, you can cut out a section of plasterboard,or remove a section completely, whereas this is more difficult with L&P, which needs full horizontal spans to maintain it's strength I'm not an expert, but I do recall this info  from attending a plastering class at college in the 80's It is therefore hard to justify  using anything other than plasterboard, unless you are a purist and wish to conform to original designs. Personally my feeling is that if plasterboard had been invented in the middle ages, they would have used it  !!!!! Lee

Hi guys (and gals) I have millions of questions, but i've decided to prioritise rather than asking questions about things that i'm not going to get around to until the next millenium !!! I would initially really appreciate anybody's expert advice regarding what to do with my  walls. Basically I have a 19th century farmhouse, with a couple of stone walls and a couple of  thick walls made out of  what has been described to me by one person as agate and by another as cob. It's sandy in colour, chalky with what looks like tiny sandy stones in the mix.. in parts it just seems to be dust and straw. Its quite strong (it's holding up my house!!) but it doesn't appear to be waterproof as the surface turns to a wet clay/plaster consistency when it rains and it absorbs moisture. Internally it always feels damp even in the height of summer. My question's are Can I plaster over it when it is dry in the summer? Can I emulsion over it (english vinyl matt/silk for example) Or Do I need to use any special french paints (ideas/brands would be helpful) On the outside, can it be rendered over or painted over. If paintable, could I use sandtex or dulux weathershield for example or is there a special type of paint? I understand that it's a traditional material and the construction allows the walls to breathe, expand and contract etc, its just that the walls are damp and externally need some small patching, and I just need to know how I can seal/decorate internally and what materials can be used externally to protect and repair the wall (repairs in terms of crazing and small potholes) I can mail pictures to anybody who is willing to offer advice. I'm sure the wall is not unique as this material appears on most farmhouse in the area. Apologies if i haven't identified it or described it accurately Thanks for reading Lee  

I am by no means a hornet expert... but I know a man who is. I have a "Little" hornet problem.. by little I mean the nest is only the size of a double wardrobe. I came across it one night when I went into a room in our ruin. Its the only room in the whole building with four walls and a door (long story), so it has become our "little room". Whilst it does have four walls, what it doesn't have is a roof, so the view above is of the roofspace. one night I ventured in to answer a call, and took up residence on the portaloo (don't worry, thats as graphic as it gets). I fumbled around looking for loo roll and my torch momentarily shone upwards, which alerted the sentinels around the nest... A nest I was unaware of. I heard buzzing, looked up and saw two big buzzy things.. then my torch illuminated a creamy coulored tube with an intricate design.. resembling one of those 1970's plastic lampshade that you pieced together yourselves by snapping the folder plastic sails onto the plastic frame. I didn't know what it was, but the buzzing cut short my visit. The next day, I ventured out of the caravan and armed with a rolled up newspaper and a flyswat, climbed up the ladder to our Upstairs (well it would be if we actually had stairs) I looked into the general area where I recalled seeing the "Thing" and to my horror saw this monstrosity. It looked like an uncooked kebab meat, the kind you see wrapped around a spit in the window ofm a dodgy fast food place.. you know the one I mean.. only considered edible after a crate of stella artois .. This "thing" was at least four feet tall. As I stood up on the last remaining sound beam of my first floor, the creaking, awoke the beasts within and I hastily retreated, followed by a couple of the blighters who saw me off back toward the caravan. I steered clear for the remainder of my week, satisfied that natures balance was intact. I had a perfectly good caravan that sleeps three and they had my house, which could easily sleep six (eventually), but was currently sleeping about five million of them. "not to worry.. " I thought.. "plenty of other jobs to do for the next five years.. no great rush to actually inhabit my holiday home..." Upon my return I went to work and over a crafty bensons at playtime with my pals, I mentioned this horror story. An unlikely hero stepped forward.. A fork lift truck driver (hence highly qualified)... "tell you what you need to do there mate//" he said, putting out his fag and drawing a long breath for maximum theatrical effect "Pi55 on them".... There was a hush.. eyes looked left and right "Pi55 on them?" I scoffed... "Just how long do you think my little fireman is?" It turns out that his solution entailed this following process, which I will now lay out for you all in as much detail as I can recall Attack mid-day !!! Take one wooly jumper.. wrap around head Take one pair of ankle boots.. place on feet Take one pair large socks.. place over boots and as far up leg as poss Take one pair of gloves.. place on hands Take one pair of swimming goggles.. cover eyes Take one scarf... wrap around neck and mouth Take one big coat... put it on Take a cup of Pi55 (my own I hope?)... Douse myself with it Take one childs super soaker water gun... Fill it (not with water!!!) Go into lions den (area around hornets nest).. get pumping !!! RUN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Amidst the laughter, I took notes.. I vowed to implement this twelve point plan and see off these fellows... fellows which apparently don't like this being done to them... who would? Now I never stopped to consider why this would work, or indeed how he knew this.. Moreover I never got round to asking him if there was any particular drink that I should have on the day to produce the best "hornet poison"... What if mine was actually hornet friendly? I decided to avoid honey for a week and to cut down on my sugar-puff intake. On day one of my next trip, I decided to go for it. My wife is by now immune to my activities.. so seeing me wrapped from head-to-toe like a bad extra from "Doctor Who" was never going to phase her. The biggest problem was wrestling the super soaker from my five year old. After prising it from his tiny fingers, he ran off to mummy, crying. Seconds later she comes around the corner with a sobbing five year old only to be confronted with a scene which will probably haunt the little man for the rest of his life... his dad, dressed like an imbescile, emptying his bladder into the tank of his water gun.. more tears.. muffled apologies from behind my scarf and me trying to explain with body language alone, exactly what I was trying to do. I could not hear her response as I had taken the precaution of plugging my ears with toilet roll. "Stand Back" I shreiked.. moving slowly toward my prey. My swimming goggles were in another suitcase in the loft, so my eyes were protected by a snorkel mask which was already steaming up. I could hear my heart beating, and each breath was getting shorter and faster. I climbed up the ladder and adjusted my weapon to "LASER" My thinking was that "WIDE SPRINKLE" might have a broader pattern, but would lack the deadly force required to penetrate the core I recall getting about three short bursts off into the nest before putting my foot through one of the rotting boards. I fell onto my back and through steamed up goggles began a relentless attack in all directions. Unfortunately, due to me being on my back, most of the ammunition went straight up... and then straight back down on to me. I regained my footing and had another go. I have no idea what effect I was having.. but it felt good !! Apparently this needs to be repeated daily over a period of a week or so The next day I decided to go to the beach instead Doeas anyone know what number I dial for the pompier?

Dear Mr Swissbarry, You really should compile your stories. You write very well with just the right blend of observation, humour and wit. You do of course need to put a warning at the beginning of each post as each one so far has made me spill hot drinks on my lap, which has just happened again with this post.. I can only hope that when I finally get to book that one way crossing to France, and can find time to spend more time posting in these forums, my posts will be half as funny as yours A fan

[quote]Hornets were a real problem last year and seem to be on the increase. We had a nest in an adjoining barn and I left them alone in the belief that they would not bother us. However, this turned out n...[/quote] I am by no means a hornet expert... but I know a man who is. I have a "Little" hornet problem.. by little I mean the nest is only the size of a double wardrobe. I came across it one night when I went into a room in our ruin. Its the only room in the whole building with four walls and a door (long story), so it has become our "little room". Whilst it does have four walls, what it doesn't have is a roof, so the view above is of the roofspace. one night I ventured in to answer a call, and took up residence on the portaloo (don't worry, thats as graphic as it gets). I fumbled around looking for loo roll and my torch momentarily shone upwards, which alerted the sentinels around the nest... A nest I was unaware of. I heard buzzing, looked up and saw two big buzzy things.. then my torch illuminated a creamy coulored tube with an intricate design.. resembling one of those 1970's plastic lampshade that you pieced together yourselves by snapping the folder plastic sails onto the plastic frame. I didn't know what it was, but the buzzing cut short my visit. The next day, I ventured out of the caravan and armed with a rolled up newspaper and a flyswat, climbed up the ladder to our Upstairs (well it would be if we actually had stairs) I looked into the general area where I recalled seeing the "Thing" and to my horror saw this monstrosity. It looked like an uncooked kebab meat, the kind you see wrapped around a spit in the window ofm a dodgy fast food place.. you know the one I mean.. only considered edible after a crate of stella artois .. This "thing" was at least four feet tall. As I stood up on the last remaining sound beam of my first floor, the creaking, awoke the beasts within and I hastily retreated, followed by a couple of the blighters who saw me off back toward the caravan. I steered clear for the remainder of my week, satisfied that natures balance was intact. I had a perfectly good caravan that sleeps three and they had my house, which could easily sleep six (eventually), but was currently sleeping about five million of them. "not to worry.. " I thought.. "plenty of other jobs to do for the next five years.. no great rush to actually inhabit my holiday home..." Upon my return I went to work and over a crafty bensons at playtime with my pals, I mentioned this horror story. An unlikely hero stepped forward.. A fork lift truck driver (hence highly qualified)... "tell you what you need to do there mate//" he said, putting out his fag and drawing a long breath for maximum theatrical effect "Pi55 on them".... There was a hush.. eyes looked left and right "Pi55 on them?" I scoffed... "Just how long do you think my little fireman is?" It turns out that his solution entailed this following process, which I will now lay out for you all in as much detail as I can recall Attack mid-day !!! Take one wooly jumper.. wrap around head Take one pair of ankle boots.. place on feet Take one pair large socks.. place over boots and as far up leg as poss Take one pair of gloves.. place on hands Take one pair of swimming goggles.. cover eyes Take one scarf... wrap around neck and mouth Take one big coat... put it on Take a cup of Pi55 (my own I hope?)... Douse myself with it Take one childs super soaker water gun... Fill it (not with water!!!) Go into lions den (area around hornets nest).. get pumping !!! RUN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Amid

Firstly.. I have no connection with this carrier, any agents, and have no agenda in any ongoing price war between ferry operators. I am an individual from the UK with a pile of bricks and rubble in Normandy. just thought i'd clear that up in case anyone thought this was some kind of advert or endorsement Basically, like most people I've done the usual phoning, checking the sunday papers and the various websites over the past few years, trying to get cheap crossings accross the channel. I live in Preston and our place is 60 miles due south of cherbourg, so naturally the St Malo, Cherbourg or Caen ports are preferable. The best i'd had to date was a little over £120 off season for a couple of adults and a child into cherbourg. At peak times, i'd used Norfolk lines and ended up a bit higher up the coast than I would have liked, and despite it basically being a greasy spoon type of operation, suited maily to honourable truckers, it was okay.. no complaints This year, we've seen the demise of the P&Ocrossings into my preferred ports so I'd been looking at BF (WOW thats cheap... NOT!!!!) So here's the outcome of my little check:- BF  August 14days Car, Trailer  £624 Speedferries  August  14days trailer  £52 !!!!!!!!!!! I've booked it and I also booked another crossing at the end of May  same price. In all I'll probably save over £750 doing this. Downside  I'll have to go to dover as opposed to portsmouth.. (another 38 miles) and i'll get into Bolougne instead of cherbourg (okay this is quite a downer at 180 miles more driving)I'll pay about £25 on the toll roads each way if i want to use the autoroutes  But on the upside   Bolougne is seldom as affected by industrial action as the other main ports.The crossing is quicker, which means the extra time driving is saved already. Service seems good, with friends reporting the service to be mainly on time and treatment and facilities was good.More importantly, my cash is going to a forward thinking entrepeneur who wants to break the channel pricing monopoly, and not to the dinosaurs who think that 70 miles of water should cost as much to cross as a 14 day mediteranean cruise with free drinks and a swimming pool Of course I'll arrive a bit more tired, and if the engine packs in half way, or they go bust in April i'll have egg on my face but having only paid £102 i'll not lose too much sleep over it In conclusion, there is a great deal of money to be saved.. money I can spend on materials for the ruin, or quality food and wine. I know i'm not the first person to mention this company. I just wanted to add my own opinion Cheers   Lee  

I am still travelling to and from France a couple of times a year as we are in the early stages of renovating he first "house" we bought in Normandy 3 years ago I was due to come over on the 20th of Jan to put pen to paper for a second property (this one has a roof and four walls this time.. hurrah!!), and was half way through confirming a booking on ferrysavers.com to go on a five day return Portsmouth-Cherbourg at a cost of £131.00 for car and 3 adults, when the site crashed and when i logged back on, ferrysavers had removed all crossiings to that part of the coast. I had to hastily arrange a BF replacement, this time from Poole, at a cost of £183.00 There were no more than 20 cars on the ferry (23:45hr crossing on the 20th). Now I understand the laws of supply and demand, but in all honesty, BF are shooting themselves in the foot if they think it makes any kind of commercial sense to sale with such a small number of "Retail" passengers. I understand that the hauliers subsidise the routes with their year round crossings, but this surely can't make up for the empty car decks which are their most profitable customers Either the freight trafic makes them enough money, or the crossing prices are being kept artificially high for us all in off peak times to protect and justify the peak time crossing prices. Surely the Ferries would be full if they did £50-80 round trips in the off season, and they would have all the bar, cafe, cabin, and retail sales they are missing out on. BF could very easily offer a PROPER frequent travellers price structure. I know they have the annual discount card scheme, but I personally have always managed to find a better price than the full members discounted price just on web searches. Lets hope someone out there picks up the baton.. someone like Branson should do it.. he's obviously no good with trains !! Lee