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cajal

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Posts posted by cajal

    Water resistant hardboard?

    in House Renovations

    Posted

    Following your Wickes link will take you to OSB3 which under product details is suitable for use under humid conditions and will also require ends and edges preserved for external use..

    Don't forget Humid (Atmospherically damp) - English is different to Humide (Wet) - French.

    Perhaps if you tell us for what purpose you will be requiring a particular board for an alternative, with translation, can be suggested.

    regards

    cajal

    3 for the men

    in The Lighter Side

    Posted

    I thought that buying my wife a maid's outfit would improve things in the bedroom, but nothing has changed.

    The place is still a tip.

    ========================================================================

    The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.

    She’s 21, and her name’s Kathy.

    ========================================================================

    I'm reaching out on behalf of a friend of mine who needs some help!

    His wife told him to go out and get some of those pills that would help him get an erection.

    When he came back he handed her some diet pills.

    Anyway, he's looking for a place to live. Can anyone help him..?

    regards

    cajal

    One for the ladies

    in The Lighter Side

    Posted

    Tech Support in Marriage

    (The Query)

    Dear Tech Support,

    Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: Football 5.0, F1 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

    Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

    What can I do?

    Signed,

    Desperate.

    (The response)

    Dear Desperate,

    First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

    Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html <http://me.html/> and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

    Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta version. Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.

    In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

    In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

    You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

    We recommend: Cooking 3.0.

    Good Luck!'

    regards

    cajal 

    It's official.....The Official European Joke.

    in The Lighter Side

    Posted

    European paradise:

    You are invited to an official lunch. You are welcomed by an

    Englishman. Food is prepared by a Frenchman and an Italian puts you in

    the mood and everything is organised by a German.

    European hell:

    You are invited to an official lunch. You are welcomed by a

    Frenchman. Food is prepared by an Englishman, German puts you in the

    mood but, don’t worry, everything is organised by an Italian.

    That joke was proposed by a Belgian as the Official European Joke, the

    joke that every single European pupil should learn at school. The Joke

    will improve the relationship between the nations as well as promote our

    self humour and our culture.

    The European Council met in order to make a decision. Should the joke be the Official European Joke or not?

    The

    British representative announced, with a very serious face and without

    moving his jaw, that the joke was absolutely hilarious.

    The

    French one protested because France was depicted in a bad way in the

    joke. He explained that a joke cannot be funny if it is against France.

    Poland also protested because they were not depicted in the joke.

    Luxembourg

    asked who would hold the copyright on the joke. The Swedish

    representative didn’t say a word, but looked at everyone with a twisted

    smile.

    Denmark asked where the explicit sexual reference was. If it is a joke, there should be one, shouldn’t there?

    Holland didn’t get the joke, while Portugal didn’t understand what a 'joke' was. Was it a new concept?

    Spain

    explained that the joke is funny only if you know that the lunch was at

    13h, which is normally breakfast time. Greece complained that they were

    not aware of that lunch, that they missed an occasion to have some free

    food, that they were always forgotten. Romania then asked what a

    'lunch' was.

    Lithuania et Latvia complained that their

    translations were inverted, which is unacceptable even if it happens all

    the time. Slovenia told them that its own translation was completely

    forgotten and that they do not make a fuss. Slovakia announced that,

    unless the joke was about a little duck and a plumber, there was a

    mistake in their translation. The British representative said that the

    duck and plumber story seemed very funny too.

    Hungary had not finished reading the 120 pages of its own translation yet.

    Then,

    the Belgian representative asked if the Belgian who proposed the joke

    was a Dutch speaking or a French speaking Belgian. Because, in one case,

    he would of course support a compatriot but, in the other case, he

    would have to refuse it, regardless of the quality of the joke.

    To

    close the meeting, the German representative announced that it was nice

    to have the debate here in Brussels but that, now, they all had to make

    the train to Strasbourg in order to take a decision. He asked that

    someone to wake up the Italian, so as not to miss the train, so they can

    come back to Brussels and announce the decision to the press before the

    end of the day.

    "What decision?" asked the Irish representative.

    And they all agreed it was time for some coffee.

    regards

    cajal

    Clair, are you paying attention? Useful expressions!

    in French Language

    Posted

    Bon     après-midi pour les francophiles

    Nice to see you on here, Cajal.     

    Nice to be here mint.

    Actually, lists of expressions alone are not much use and they do not

    give a context and wouldn't necessarily enable the reader to use them

    effectively or even correctly.

    Au contraire. Ma motivation était de ne pas vous dire tout comment sucer les œufs.

    As Archant, the company who own the magazine and consequently the 'France Forum' where we hang out, had published an article of idioms in 'Complete France'  I thought it would be a gesture to create a link to that article.  This board and this particular thread seemed the most appropriate location for a link-to for such an article.

    especially how we made many faux pas, socially and linguistically in the course of our coming to grips with the language.

    Two of mine:

    l'homme de poste (facteur)

    week-end de vacances de banque (faire le pont)

    regards

    cajal

    Important - postal vote needs a stamp!

    in The Complete France Post Bag

    Posted

    [quote user="PaulT"]With the funny rules that the French seem to have is there a danger of putting a stamp on something that does not need a stamp mean it will not be delivered? :)[/quote]

     Spot on PaulT. I read the above out to Mrs c.(she doesn't do social media) and she responded with "Yeah. There's someone who's got the hang of living in France"

    regards

    cajal

    Brick wall, head, bang......

    in Forum Technical Support

    Posted

    [quote]

    Please tell me where I find those three buttons, I don't seem to have this feature, nor the "notify" option. Almost certainly something wrong on my part.

    Thanks from ernie.[/quote]

    On a PC/Laptop (not sure about tablets/phones?)

    If you go to the 'header' at the top of the page you should see  'edit your details'  followed by your name 'ernie'

    Click on 'ernie' and it will take you to your editable details page.

    The penultimate option is:

    Enable Email Notifications of replies to your posts. Yes or No.

    After making your selection the final option (bottom of page right) is 'save changes'.

    Hope that helps.

    regards

    cajal

    What is the movement 'Nuit debout' about?

    in French Culture

    Posted

    [quote user="NormanH"]If you look closely at the picture you will see that it is water in the glass...[:)][/quote]

    Ah, eau de vie, that kind of water.

    Rocket fuel that stuff....mon voisin d'à côté plied me with some a few years ago and I've never been the same since!  Yeah Yeah I know.

    regards

    cajal

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