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La Roche

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  1. The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now, the man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...'' Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you." "Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. did you know babies are my specialty?" "Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat" After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there." "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!" "Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith. "Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that." "Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said. "Oh my G o d!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. "And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look" "Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement. "Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too." The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in." Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?" "It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work ri ght away." "Tripod?" "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long." Mrs. Smith fainted.
  2. Driving to work this morning on the N17 motorway, I looked over to my rightand there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 140 kms per hour with herface up close to the mirror putting on her eyeliner!!!! Shocked, I looked away for a couple of seconds and when I looked back shewas *still* putting on the make-up but drifting halfway into my lane!! It scared me so much (and this coming from a bloke....) that I dropped myelectric shaver, which knocked the bacon roll out of my other hand.  In all the confusion of trying to straighten up the car using my kneesagainst the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile from my ear, which fellinto the coffee between my legs, causing it to splash and burn BIG JIM ANDTHE TWINS, causing me to scream, which made me drop the cigarette out of mymouth, ruined my shirt and DISCONNECTED AN IMPORTANT CALL.  Women Drivers!!!!!!!
  3. the reason i sent you a PM was because i thought it unfair to show my thoughts on some of your stupid comments and instead of air them for the room to see so  i sent them to you instead . I dont hold a grudge as life is to short but in future if you have nothing good or postive to say then maybe its best you say nothing at all . Going forward as i stated i dont hold a gudge so if you can add to a posting instead of kidish remarks we can all get along .
  4. update problem sorted by DVLA they told me to get temp cover untill i am in france then run on my french insurance once in france . then return my new tax disk and they will refund the difference to me . voila !
  5. if you are worried about the snakes get yourself some chickens as they will attack the snakes for you . This is what our French neighbour told us any way
  6. it appears we have opened a can of worms up here ! I have just had a long chat with the traffic police who are saying my car is now not legal in the UK due to the fact i have french insurance , they said the company had no right to insure me while the car is still in the UK and with DVLA records . They have told me i must get UK insurance to continue to drive my car here . They also said this car insurance and europe is becoming more and more messy by the day do to the influx of Polish and Slovakian cars being sold on in the UK and no records to track the cars , it appears the British people are buying them and using them to avoid paying road tax said the police officer . So it appears i have NO choice i must renew my car insurance and tax it at the end of the month and speak to the french company to cancel as i was told  it is an offence to have the car insured by 2 companies ........ what a head ache i have today PS  thanks to sunday driver i would have listened to the insurance clerk and thought i was road legal once again SD top person you are for your help and everybody else on the forum .
  7. [quote user="Sunday Driver"] Nice to see you're proud of your score on what was only your second posting since joining this community.  Perhaps their interest was more to do with the reputation you've clearly established for yourself here...[8-)]   [/quote]       Brilliant your right that was only my 2nd posting i made , if i draw such intreast i will get quicker answers !! only joking i am a nice person really just ask my mother LOL . if you dont ask you dont know do you and as i have read through so many postings on here i have found my answers without having to ask a question . But i had not come across a question such as mine so i thought i would raise the issue .......... I GOT MY ANSWERS  Pheeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww .
  8. many thanks Eslier and i have taken onboard what sunday driver has said and you are correct he/she is very good on this forum and i do trust 99.9% of what they say is true or in good faith . Its just that i also have to ask the question to the right people also to, because if i am stopped and i say to the police officer " Sunday driver on the french forum told me this " i dont think that will hold much weight either . As i did not know the answer thats why i asked the question and i am sure more questions are just round the corner .. in advance many thanks Sunday Driver you are a wealth of knowledge and a credit to this forum .
  9. yep lets lock it up as its run its course , not bad though 4,000 views and counting just goes to show how many people were intrested in this matter maybe they might be hideing something also .......
  10. many thanks sunday driver i have taken that on board and will ring the insurance people again and speak to some one different and see what they say . I have made a few phone calls to the UK police to ask where i stand on the legal side of driving to the ferry in auguest as i will have no road tax then , they informed me i would be braking the law in the UK and would face a on the spot fine and reported , they could not answer about once i am the other side of the water but as far as he knew as there is no road tax in france he could not see there is a law to be broken . Then the police officer said but should i be stopped in the UK challenge the police officer refuse the fine and tell him you want it to go to court , once the CPS see your main house in France they will drop the case . ( that was the UK police advice )
  11. cheers Bob but the chances of me driving back to the UK are remote as i would fly back thus making my car 100% road legal in france of course i am going to be told different now . Think i will stick to what i have in writing from my insurance company
  12. give these guys a shout ............ just follow online instructions and they will work out your tarrif for you in seconds . mine is 9.90 euros   http://www.teles-skydsl.fr/order.php?func=tariff_summary
  13. you are correct in what you are saying but some of the people on here are making out like a killed someone !!!! i have had direct emails from people on here saying they left the UK 5and 6 years ago with much larger debts and have not heard a thing . I am not saying it is right but i have not broke any laws AT ALL , if how ever one day i get a knock at a door then the money will be sitting there for me to settle the debt untill such times its staying in my bank account ..........
  14. ok problem sorted I WILL NOT REQUIRE A TAX DISC IN FRANCE . Have just spoken to my french insurance company and they have stated as my main house is in France i can drive my car legal on british MOT and their insurance not a problem and NO TAX DISC . They went further and said as my main house is in France i can even drive in the UK without a tax disc . They did say however i should go on french plates ASAP but it is not critical as they said moving house is stressful and they would write to me in 6 months time to remind me of this . any one that doubts me please call them   Sylvie Lespagnol Cabinet Bruno Sellier Assurances & Placements 9 Place Jean Monnet / 10 Rue du XIV Juillet 16100 COGNAC Tel : 00 33 (0)5 45 82 03 20 Fax : 00 33 (0)5 45 82 34 40
  15. thanks Will was not a snipe at you . I have just been online to renew my tax disc for the car and DVLA will not allow me to tax my car as i have french insuance and not british insurance , it looks like i am going round in circles here and my tax disc runs out at the end of the month .i am going to call my french broker and see what he thinks i should do .
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