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thehydes

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  1. Hi All

    Is there a difference between english natural gas and french town gas as I want to buy a catalytic flue gas fire from england and use it in my new house in France?

    Thanks for any replies

    Richard

  2. Hi All

    Is french town gas the same as english natural gas as I want to buy catalitic english gas fire and have it installed here in france.

    Thanks for any info

    trickie

  3. Hi All

    A friend has a two stage water filter, first a cartridge, the second part is full of little dissolving balls!!

    What are they, what should they do and can she get more?

    Thanks for any help

    Richard
  4. Can I use ptfe tape on a fitting which is for domestic fuel oil?

    Thanks for the help

    Richard
  5. Hi All

    Having to buy a new laptop as french tower has just chosen a top story window to be thrown out of !!!!!!!

    All new laptops etc have windows 7 as the installed program. Has anyone heard about having to pay extra to use this system after a 'probation period'.

    Will be buying english, sorry

    All postings, thanks for the help/ advice

    Richard
  6. Colonoscopy Journal:

    I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.

    Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.

    I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

    I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies.

    I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.

    Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture ofgoat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon..

    The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

    MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle... There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

    After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

    At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked..

    Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

    When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point.

    Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate. 'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me.

    'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

    I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

    Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

    On the subject of Colonoscopies...

    Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

    1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'

    2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

    3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

    4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

    5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'

    6.. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

    7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'

    8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

    9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'

    10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'

    11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'

    12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'

    And the best one of all:

    13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

    Had be in tears

    Richard

  7. Hi All

    I have just been informed that the small windscreen insurance document, yes the little green one, has to be kept for 7 years after it expires incase of any enquiry on your insurance. Surely this is not the case!!!! I know about proving 13 years insurance for no claims.

    Thanks to all repliers

    Richard
  8. Hi All

    Can anyone tell me the date for the purchase of domestic fuel that then allows a rebate on the cost for winter fuel. It has happened in the past!!!!!

    Thanks to all

    Richard
  9. Hi All

    Have a four-way valve (vanne melangeuse) and I am trying to get the motorised control unit for it. Any suggestion, Cedeo perhaps. Tried Leroy/ Bricoetc but no joy. Part number would help too if poss

    Cheers for any help

    Richard
  10. Frenchie

    Insomiac first class here

    I have noticed that it is people with high post counts that have trouble sleeping!!

    My days of marking papers in the night are past but still turn the computer on and read things

     

  11. Hi All

    Have some items for sale so thought of the D.V as a solution.

    Can anyone give me an idea of how they work, do they price the item and take their cut?

    Interesting to know

    Thanks to all answers

    Richard

  12. Hi All

    Can anyone suggest a cure for a smelly microwave after a spicy chicken/ mexican dish was cooked in the machine?

    Thanks to all helpers

    Richard
  13. Morning All

    I have a sky+ box and it is maybe 18 months old. The other day it started to make a noise like an overheating fan was working. It sits on a shelf under the tv and has nothing on top and good ventilation. It continues all the time even when on standby. Any suggestion thankfully received

    Richard
  14. Hi All

    Have just brought a Compaq laptop computer and as usual now with these things , no manuel except online.

    So a question to you people 'in the know', what does the little chequered light do which sits under the spacebar and you can turn on and off (turns to orange) ?

    Thanks for the help

    Richard
  15. Hi All

    Have just spent five days in hospital having an op on a dodgy shoulder and now am in a harness which locks my arm and hand to my body. So how restricting is it? Let me start:

    cant serve at tennis,

    give applause,

    fish- it was this big!

    hold the yarn for my gran to wind into a ball and as it is the left hand, shake hands with a boy scout

    What would it stop you doing, clean thoughts please

    Richard
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