Cassis

Does a humour bypass require removal of the patient's elbow? If so, do they first check as to whether the patient can tell it from their arse? Does Gerry Adams still have his beard?  It's donkeys years since I saw a picture of him.  Has Paisley grown one?

Here's Clair's message - maybe forum admin or the mods could merge the posts? [quote user="Clair"]The 2007 calendar for income declaration has been published: [quote]En 2007, pour la deuxième année, les déclarations de revenus seront préremplies des principaux revenus (salaires, retraites, allocations chômage, indemnités journalières de maladie). Une nouveauté : les salaires versés par les employeurs rémunérant leur personnel à l’aide du chèque emploi service universel (CESU) figureront également sur les déclarations. Plus.de 96 millions d’informations seront collectées par l’administration fiscale auprès de 2 millions d’employeurs et organismes sociaux. Réception de votre déclaration papier: Du 23 avril au 4 mai 2007Ouverture du service de déclaration par internet sur www.impots.gouv.fr: 2 mai 2007Date limite de dépôt de la déclaration papier: Jeudi 31 mai à minuitDélai supplémentaire pour les télédéclarants:     Zone scolaire A : 12 juin 2007 minuit    Zone scolaire C et DOM : 19 juin 2007 minuit    Zone scolaire B et Corse : 26 juin 2007 minuitDates limites de dépôt pour les résidents à l’étranger:     Europe, pays du littoral méditerranéen et Amérique du Nord, Afrique : 30 juin 2007    Amérique centrale et du Sud , Asie (sauf pays du littoral méditerranéen), Océanie et autres pays : 15 Juillet La déclaration préremplie sera également, comme l’année dernière, disponible en ligne sur www.impots.gouv.fr. Elle offre plusieurs avantages:  des délais supplémentaires pour télédéclarer ; une réduction d’impôt de 20 € accordée cette année encore aux contribuables qui choisissent un moyen de paiement dématérialisé (paiement en ligne, paiement à l’échéance ou par prélèvement mensuel) ;une procédure simple, sécurisée et rapide ;le calcul immédiat du montant de son impôt ;l'obtention d'un accusé de réception en ligne ;l’absence d’envoi de justificatifs.Si vous avez déclaré vos revenus en 2006, vous possédez un certificat électronique et un espace abonné qui vous permet d'ores et déjà de consulter votre compte fiscal en ligne. Début mai, vous pourrez accéder directement à votre déclaration préremplie 2007. Sinon, procurez-vous dès à présent le certificat gratuit qui vous permettra de déclarer par internet. Rendez-vous à la rubrique Particuliers>Espace abonné>Abonnez-vous à votre espace et obtenez votre certificat en quelques clics. N’attendez pas le mois de mai pour effectuer cette démarche, vous déclarerez ainsi en toute tranquillité le moment venu.[/quote] Source: http://www.impots.gouv.fr/ [/quote]

"5 couples coming for their honey moon(sic)" - careful.  Sounds like a Moonies convention.

I know this is something that other people might find useful, if it is what you are looking for.  Can you let us know if it is any good? [:)]

I'm not sure where you get it, but this product seems to contain "champignons mycorhiziens" http://www.vitalhumus.com/ Have a look at their site and perhaps contact them if they don't have a list of outlets.

You can't really give everything that might be relevant to your posts in your personal details - maybe if people remember to mention these things in their post if the info is not in the PDs.  It's only common sense.

I read and bought just the same book before moving here and found the reality very different - not on the marriage point, but elsewhere.  Also the same size of French marriage regime does not suit everyone. 

Oh, Anton, I'm sorry - it's cruel, isn't it. Sorry! [:D] Signed, Smug Git.

[quote user="chessfou"] Round our way, just remember to add a "g" after "n" and pronounce any old "s" and you should get away with being understood complimenting bakers on their "bong pang" or asking for  less ("moince") without any risk of being thought to be Belgian. [/quote] I recall on our first holiday in the SW many, many years ago I asked the man at the bar how much I owed for the drinks and I was told 'Veng frang'.  Just to check, in case I had misunderstood, I asked 'Vingt francs?' in what I hope most would recognise as 'normal' pronunciation.  The reply was, 'Non, veng frang'.  I handed over 20 francs and the deal was done.

[quote user="Dick Smith"] I still remember my first evening in Sunderland, sitting on a full bus and realising that I couldn't understand a word of the conversations going on around me. [/quote] Perfectly normal.  I'm from Blaydon and I've been married to a woman from Sunderland for 25 years and I still don't understand her.

Which one will depend on your usage pattern - there are loads of different offers (just like the UK).  It's a Carte SIM (pron. cart seem).  Most big supermarkets sell SIMs from a range of providers and staff are generally helpful, in my limited experience.  They will fit the card to your phone and get it running and registered with the provider for you (at least Carrefour do that). If you have a preferred service provider (e.g. Orange) then some also have their own dedicated outlets - generally in town centres or shopping centres.

Musical!  Great horn section in the opening scenes! [:D]

[quote user="Dick Smith"]Buy a special plastic spanner, ours is yellow, and be very rigorous about always putting it back somewhere you can find it easily (ours goes into the screwdriver rack in the utility). The nuts will not open easily with a spanner or pliers (without getting chewed up) as the proper spanner is designed to fit over little lugs on the nut. Being plastic it can't make sparks, and you can't overtighten and strip the thread. [/quote] Well, there's a tip.  For nigh on three years I have been doing the "struggle with expandable pliers" bit and I don't like it! Someone's going to tell me next that I can pick up one of these things in any supermarket, aren't you?

[quote user="ThomasD"][:(] Poor Alice. [/quote] Quite right, Thomas.  I apologise for making light of this personal tragedy. Not sure why Jc thinks Alice is a friend of the mayor's, though. [;-)]

[quote user="powerdesal"] This is the message I got when I tried to access your pics:- We apologize the site you are attempting to visit has been blocked due to its content being inconsistent with the religious, cultural, political and moral values of the United Arab Emirates. What on Earth were you taking photos of?  [;-)][:$] [/quote] See my previous post, Steve. [:D]

Oo-er, dribble, dribble, drool ... [:D]

Doesn't sound like him.  Are you sure?

I think ragondin are supposed to make their homes in the banks of streams, rivers and lakes rather than lavender beds  as they like immediate access from the burrow into water.  I'd rather have rabbits than ragondin. [:)]

Bloody hope so - or put him on ice until she gets back.

Anyway, it's not moles - you can't see thier holes unless you unearth the molehills, and they are tiny. I go for rabbits if the holes are deep and you can't feel the bottom (i.e. it's a burrow).

Here is the response: Dear Alice I’m so sorry to hear that.  I hope that his condition improves soon.  I’ll let you know when we receive the cheque. Phil Fingers crossed that dad pulls through -  I'd hate to lose the booking.

There's no question but that I would have fancied Toni Basil more than Dick at that time.  Which must come as a great relief to Dick. PS Then and now, in fact.  Still a great relief to Dick. [:D]

Hot news - just received another mail from Alice Ford.  Oddly addressed to [email protected], but happily it reached my mailbox.  I would not have liked to miss this: Hello Dear,   Sorry for the delay in writing you, my Dad suffered a stroke a few days ago and his condition is critical. I'm just coming from the hospital and I haven't had time for anything else. The doctors say it's really bad and I pray to God that he survives this.   Just to let you know your payment is on the way. My finance director left a message for me at the office, saying payment has been mailed to you. You should receive it early next week at the lastest, do kindly let me know when it arrives.   Many thanks, Alice Ford. What a shame, eh? [:D]

[quote user="Llwyncelyn"]Nothing against the Scots for being Welsh they are essentially cousins and there is a relationship going back years and certainly on the rugby field.  [/quote] Is this some covert reference to sexual encounters in the scrum between close relatives, resulting in such interbreeeding that no-one knows whether they are Scots or Welsh? [:)] I agree that the Normandy climate is not exactly desert-dry, but then, no-one would expect it to be (cows, pasture, stays green in summer).  I reckon the last two winters we have spent here were worse - damper and colder - than those we experienced in south east England.  But the temperatures seem to rise more quickly when the sun appears and the summers are sunnier, warmer and longer.  We came here because we love gardening and wanted somewhere conducive to the kind of garden we enjoyed in England.

[quote user="Brilec"][quote user="junebaby"]  hopefully it will help us to improve our French! [/quote] You will love programmes like Le Morse, and le Starsky & Hutch just to mention but a few.[:D] [/quote] What about that weird Starsky & Hutch theme tune "Starsky ... et Hutch  do-do-do-do-do-do,  Starsky ... et Hutch  do-do-do-do-do-do".  And "Huggy le bon tuyau"?