Missy

[quote]Their obssession with pessaries, don't you find the French pop them to cure everything? "The French will put their holiday postcards in an envelope before sending, whereby Brits will stick stamp on ...[/quote] and I do too for the same reason and it stops the 'facteur' gossipin'! when my parents receive the postcard. Also as I discovered this winter when travelling to the far east to visit my daughter there, writing the destination's address with plenty of space which the enveloppe has, it ensures that it will arrive. Some of my friends and family, for whom I did not have an enveloppe to send the postcard in, are still waiting for theirs!!! Promise I did send a postcard!...

[quote]And then there's always Europanto:"DER EUROPANTO BRIKOPOLITIK : Komme dekouvre if on Mars ist lifeWhat besogne: meine belmère seine voizine zwei chaises elektrik 1 roulò ruban adésiff 1 Taliban, verit...[/quote] WAAAOOOWWEEEE Took me a while to make sense of it, if sense there is to be made of!... Do you think that between the 2 of us we dried out the EEC wine lake!! You whilst you thought and wrote this piece and me whilst I am reading it!!!! More please!

[quote]vous avez marché dans la partie comme vous marchiez sur un yacht votre chapeau stagegically plongé en-dessous d'un oeil votre écharpe que c'était abricot vous avez eu un oeil sur le miroir pendant que...[/quote] How many bottles of plonk did that take to write!!!.......

[quote]Now this is worrying. Do you mean the labels on your knickers aren't at the back. 'Cos if they are at the back, then you can't possibly put them on back to front, can you? Or are they on the side? ...[/quote] Who's getting their knickers in a twist!!!.....

[quote]Ok here's a few for starters; The French will always stand outside the car looking at it, in the automatic (rollers type) car wash (even in bad weather), whereby we tend to just roll up, sit stil...[/quote] You must have forgotten what it is like to be in a UK pub on a busy Friday night then if the queuing at a bar and ignoring gets to you....

[quote]Why do people living abroad feel they should have a say in choosing the government of the country I live in, I would not expect to help choose your government.[/quote] Why, as of your own will you left UK do you want to vote for a government you have chosen to leave behind with all that they have made to go wrong! as will be the subject of the many dinner parties conversations... Quite agree! You left UK so don't bother about the 'who to vote for?' Whilst I, who has lived in UK for 25+ years, religioulsy paid my taxes to all governments past and present, never asked a penny in benefits of any kind to any of them! I CAN NOT vote in UK!! and in deference, as I have not lived in France for all that time, I refrained from voting in France.

[quote]It's an "Open-Prison"![/quote] Thought Australia was the biggest 'Open prison'! and in the 60's people received 10bob or so to go and live there!

For my 1st Communion I was given a prayer book - Wonder where that is now?... and for my Communion solennelle a watch. I still have it and wear it sometime if I don't forget to wind it up! (long before batteries...)Did get lots of cash too but not directly. It was all given to my parents who wisely put it into a 'Caisse d'Epargne' account... On the day it didn't half annoyed me though! Cash discretly in an enveloppe is the usual nowadays.. If the kid has a favorite magazine (fanzine!) a year's subscription to it... Ask the parents for some pointers on that. Nothing to flash anyhow. I like the apple tree (whether the kid appreciated?...) There was some one with forethought! I would have prefered that to the prayer book!! Oh...I remember I trashed it! with all my school books as in the old schoolkid chant when it is the last day of school ever!! "C'est les vacances, Plus de pénitence, Les cahiers, les livres au feu, et le maitre au milieu!!" What a heathen I am!! but eh! sin is a such a pleasure!! Who said pleasure was a sin!.....

Arrive on time. +5 minutes won't matter but no later. After all your hosts are 80+ and it is the nature of old people to worry! Have you had an accident etc...! you'll never hear the end of it....If your car break down then have their phone number with you and explain that you are a little late because of it. Bring flowers for Madame BUT NO! NO! NO! to anything remotly resembling or of the family of chrisants. They will take it in their heads that you wish them dead as chrisants are only bought and sold on November 1st All Saints day to adorn the graves of beloved departed!.....Seasonal flowers are the best and a riot of colours won't matter too much. But no uniform white! There again you are ready for a funeral!.... Monsieur will appreciate a bottle of whisky or english cheeses (Yes! my father loves it when I bring him some proper Stilton or Cheddar even smoked salmon) Taboo subject of discussion : PoliticS AND ReligionS. In the plural!! but welcome to expand on : your health! which is a no-no in UK! your family at home your children's achievements, school, universities, jobs whatever is their stage in life. Grand-children, parents anything goes. your garden , the weather (subject familiar to UK people!) At the table it is impolite to have your hands UNDER the table (Mind boggles : What ARE you doing with them under the table!....) So perfectly OK for a case of elbow ON the table. If you are given a large linen napkin perfectly OK to tuck it in your collar to save your shirt/dress front from any splashing. Or just rest it on your lap. See what your hosts do... Don't eat too much bread as it will show that the food is awful and you are stuffing yourself to stave of hunger! Quite polite to wipe your plate with it as you are finishing your helping. At the end of the meal, after coffee and cognac or digestif!, put your napkins all scrunched up where your plate would have been. If you fold it nice and tidy it means that your are expected/wanting to stay for the next meal. Don't offer for washing up etc...You do not interfere with 80+ years of Madame's housekeeping management! Only once you have become a VERY GOOD neighbour you may be asked to help! If they offer you a tour of their garden, go and have a look and marvel and sneekily/discretly take tips! Once it's time to leave : profuse thanks to the chef (Madame of course!) for the excellent catering and Monsieur for the nice walk in the lovely garden. Hope you have a nice time!

[quote]Is it availble here and if so what is it called please. Mr M is yearning for some on his 'pain anglaise'(YUK!!!). Returning to his boyhood me thinks!! - well he does come from Yorkshire!!![/quote] Look out for Nestlé tins of 'lait condensé' or packs of 6 little individual portions. Comes in several flavours but the 'goût nature' is the best.

[quote]Lait Concentrée. Comes in sans sucre and sucré versions in cans, in natty little pyramids for kids...available everywhere. The Sucrée version is very sweet![/quote] Actually Lait Concentré is the equivalent of 'Carnation Milk' and the little pyramides are Lait Condensé. A delight on a piece of fresh bread or warm brioche and a cup of hot chocolate. Good old fashion '4 heures'. To you all Brits '4 heures' is when school finishes at the end of the day and you go home. Lunch was a long time ago and diner is a long way away. Just that little sustenance for the homework session.

I remember watching 'Le manège enchanté' when I was little!... Any bets when that was? My siblings and I would come back from school, have our '4 heures' usually a slice of bread and jam and a cup of chocolat. Then do our homework.. A real chore that was for me. I'd botched it and run to the garden. Meanwhile Mother would cook the evening meal (no turkey twizzlers or chips in sight!) and it would be ready at 7pm ON TIME to watch Pollux, Margot et Compagnie. After that was the regional news bulletins for which, us children were not allowed to utter a word as Father was listening! and giving his own heated comments... Once that over, a sharp look from him meant we had to go to our bedrooms and not to be seen till next morning ready for school. But eh! he could rant and rave all he liked as I would memorise everyword spoken during the 5 minutes of 'Le manège enchanté' as next day it was going to be the topic of conversation at school! and we would re-enact the whole episode and imagine the next evening's episode... Serious arguments in the school yard! Not much changed and remember my own children being fed a diet of 'Postman Pat' and doing the same next day at school. 'The Wombles' are a little bit before their time. The Wombles, incidentally taught me a fair amount of english! amongst lines and reams of Shakespeare, Dickens and Jane Austen... Pas tout a fait une vache folle! mais presque!...

Every Wednesday is when the new films are out. Look in your local newspapers or in Allocine on the web. Also www.fnac.com has a page for 'Spectacles' where you can book cinema tickets. I think they have an english page if your French is not too good. The Chorus (Les Choristes) was wonderful! Saw it in London! of all places!... in v.o (Version Originale) of course!! Some municipal libraries have a 'mediatheque' where you can borrow DVDs if the cinema is too far away for you to go. Worth enquiring! for unlimited - almost free/certainly cheaper - pleasure. And you don't feel so embarrassed if it's what I call 'a-romantic-soapy-tissue-box-of-choccies-wrapped-up-in-duvet' film!! Have a nice time

If you can make a recorded tape of your neighbour telling you how to make Pineau, I will translate his patois! An alternative to Pineau is wine type sherry made with leaves from a peach tree. My father has made this wine since before the dinosaurs roamed the area and it is Heaven! don't need much to be there... floating ! I going over to see him late next month and will ask him the recipe for you to try. A la tienne Etienne!