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Tresco

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Everything posted by Tresco

  1. Yes, agreed, posts bring more posts....well, they certainly used to.  As a daily visitor, for more than 3 years I think there is a problem. I have a brand new all singing and dancing computer, but the new site here is really slow, much slower than TF I appreciate fact that LF provide this site, free, as much as anyone, but I would be amazed if whoever monitors it said it was as busy as it was two months ago.    
  2. Jirac18, well  reasoned and argued, but 'Abused children grow up to be abusers' There may be a significant statistical relationship between those who are abused as children - or indeed as adults, and those who go on to abuse, but not all victims of abuse go on to abuse others, by any means, although a significant number go on to self harm in various ways. Going back to any difference between France and UK, I've been wondering if the 'law' which requires one to assist someone who is hurt or in danger - and i'm not sure if it is a 'law' or how it is framed - could apply in the instance of a child being abused in a public place. I'm not thinking of standing there quoting the 'law' in such a situation, just pondering. Anyone got any ideas about that?
  3. SB, I can't remember seeing children smacked or screamed at in public here in France, but then I'm not on public transport every day, or in public much for that matter, so I don't doubt your, or other contributors experiences. When you originally posted this I was thinking on the lines of 'how would I deal with this in (poor) French. Spent quite a lot of time stewing over it in fact. It then occurred to me that in the UK, threats and a stream of abuse is the worst thing thats happened to me, and on every single ocasion the adults attention has been turned away from the child. So, once the original comment eg 'please stop hitting and swearing at that child', has been made, the desired result (from my point of view) is achieved. The most dramatic example - and cutting a very long story short, after about six months of ineffectual attempts to intervene, and then much hand wringing I phoned the NSPCC to report systematic physical abuse directed at a ten year old from what seemed to be his whole family. The NSPCC wouldn't listen unless I gave my personal details. I put the phone down, and thought about it. I phoned back and identified myself, three days later I had half the family screaming at me on the doorstep. The boy was never allowed to come to my house again. When he was 15 he told my son he had hated me at the time, but that the battering stopped, immediately, including that of his younger sister, which I had been unaware of as she was below school age. Whether I would be able to manage such a call here in France, and the consequences? Well I dread having to find out the hard way.    
  4.   It's just wrong to treat children this way, and the really horrible thing for me, personally, is that even now I have trouble challenging such outrageous behaviour. The last time I tried, on a bus in England, despite many approving grunts from fellow passengers at the intervention I tried to make, I was threatened, and nearly got beaten up myself, and the child still got belted, repeatedly. I've since found it really difficult to deal with situations like the one you describe, especially where friends or acquaintances are concerned, do other people have the same problem?
  5. He works part time for his dad, not sure what they do, but I got the impression they employ and work mainly with English people. They live in a rural area, and he seemed quite a shy young man to me, which probably hasn't helped.  When he was talking about going back to the UK I was on the verge of saying 'go, don't get sucked further into this middle aged ex-pat vortex'. Stopped myself because he was open about his love and respect for his family here. TU, I think you have a couple of lad yourself don't you? Do you have any advice you think might be appropriate.
  6. Had a house not far from Hesdin for years, for holidays. The winter holidays were bobbins. We were freezing. I believe south of the Loire there's a noticeable difference in winter temperatures, compared to  southern England. Having said that, I'm in 17, Charente Maritime, and last winter was horrible, (I sulked like mad), but nothing compared to Sheffield or Manchester, where I spent all my earlier years. Go south.
  7. [quote]I often wonder the same. I grew up 3 miles from the nearest town - my mother did not drive and it certainly would never have occured to me to expect my father to pick me up, and so my social life was ...[/quote] Yes, spot on, we tried several long holidays, many with friends of my teeenager. These were sparky kids, open to just about anything, but rural France? No way. These were city boys, so rural Britain was bad enough for them. I met a  young guy the other day, 19, moved with family to rural France just after he'd finished his GCSE's. Parents refused to 'lift him' as he was 'grown up now'. Younger sibs, who were 10 and 12 at the time are 'just about OK'. He 'gets by' with the language, but has no friends, spends a lot of time with his parents and their (English) friends, all much older than him. He wondered aloud to me whether he would 'ever have a girlfriend' at this rate. He was deeply serious, and had considered movong back on his own, but what to, and he loves his sisters, they 'keep him going' - can this be good? I'm sure we all do what we think is right at the time, for ourselves and our children, but surely moving from the city to the countryside in England would be bad for a, lets say 11 to 17 year old? Never mind a whole new country. I love all the positive stuff, keep it coming, but can't help but wonder if people don't really think it through, and by the way, I am not someone who consults the child on the big stuff. I think that's the adults job.  
  8. Ours are made of pallets too. In our garden they look better, I feel, as there are three of them and its a very 'rural' garden, but it was a lot of time and effort to make them. I think if these are valid considerations 8E is a really good deal.
  9. Thank you Gay (Russethouse), but as I said I had no time to make any posts, to forum admin or otherwise.  I note that at least one moderator, Will The Conquerer, had joined in a less contentive part of the thread at page 11. Do you have to receive a complaint from one of the members before you act, or can you choose to act yourselves?
  10. Portsmouth to St Malo, Brittany Ferries. Still a slog though, so I recommend the overnight trip. Theres a home owners club, with reduced fares I think, if you have already bought.
  11. We have a cat which, hadn't needed to go to the vet for 17 years. What amazed me was the differences in prices vets quoted for the service. Highest, £235, lowest, £70. I only rang around because the DEFRA registered vet nearest was on holiday at the time we needed the booking. The vet we went to could offer no explanation for the difference in prices quoted.
  12. I've been following this thread with great interest. Without quoting, I think the forum guide to users tells us not to respond to postings which are abusive or inflammatory. For that reason, and time restraints I havn't.  Reading back through all the posts, there are some messages that are clearly racist, the first of which, before time restraints stopped me spending the neccessary time on the forum, I objected to in very restrained tones. As the thread continued more racist remarks were made, to which Miki, and particularly Dicksmith responded vigourously.  I wish I had supported their arguments at the time. I won't hesitate in the future, as none of the clearly racist posts were pulled.  
  13. Is that your own private open hillside then, Battypus?
  14. Some things are only obviously stocked in season - so you may be better off waiting until spring, if you can stand  to.  Last spring, here was a huge selection available in garden shops, brico 'type' shops, and supermarkets. We bought the best we could afford. Don't forget the earplugs. Ours makes about 100 decibels when its cutting, and that's enough to cause hearing loss.
  15. 1 thing that was the biggest help: Mothers, aged 80+, both saying "what wonderful thing to do", and ''when can I come and see you"? 1 thing you realised you had not prepared for missing quite so much: Mothers like these. p.s and TKMAX  
  16. [quote]All of the players who played in the final have been honoured (including George Cohen) but most as late as 2000, when several who had not been honoured were given MBEs. The list I was looking at preda...[/quote] I think this is the team that won played in the final isn't it, so fair enough, but wasn't Greaves in the squad, played loads of games, then replaced by Hurst in the final due to injury?  I hope someone will correct me if wrong. I bet there are loads of alcoholics in other fields with these prestigious awards, perhaps we just don't get to hear so much about, scientists, for instance, and perhaps it's just that  we judge athletes differently to achievers in other fields. Churchill said, 'always remember that I have taken far more out of alcohol, that alcohol has taken out of me'.   Jimmy Greaves should be honoured. ps still not got the hang of this qoutes thing- I highlighted the list Dick kindly gave, and look what came up. What am I doing wrong?
  17. [quote]Hello I do not know what all the hoo ha about Sir Mark thatcher is about. He seems to have been pilloried for financing the replacment of one darky despot with another and collecting a bit of dosh i...[/quote] The 'smiley emoticon hasn't appeared in the quote, but this is an example of what I really hate about the way some people (like you, dunrunnin, in this case), use them. It isn't OK to just tag  a 'smiley' on to the end of what is really a very offensive comment, and think the 'smiley' makes it ok.      
  18. [quote]Who told you that, Steve Bruce by any chance No, it was close but it's not how but how many, or is that golf ?. Miki[/quote]   I'm finding this new format quite slow, quite TF'y and quite tricky. Miki, I need to know, to settle marital dispute; is that the image of Senor Greavsie you are using?
  19. [quote]Who told you that, Steve Bruce by any chance No, it was close but it's not how but how many, or is that golf ?. Miki[/quote]   I'm finding this new format quite slow, quite TF'y and quite tricky. For instance, more of the quote is there then I wanted, but I can't work out how to change it. Hey Miki,  I'd love to know, is that the image of Senor Greavsie you are using?
  20. >Now they have sent us a >list of a few more >they want to take. They seem to be communicating honestly with you about their intentions. >I don't intend to fall out >with them over a few >plants (they are a really >nice family) but can anyone >tell me if this is >the norm in France? Sorry, not with regard to plants, but I hope to reassure you. When we left our previous two houses, we told the purchasers we would be taking plants, and identified them, as your sellers have done. While we did dig up many of the plants we identified, it just proved too much hard work (and weight)to take them all. We brought eighty plants with us to France, some mature, but had to leave many we had said we would take - mature tree ferns, banana plants etc. The purchasers were concerned, and we arranged for them to come round and see before 'exchange'- they said they could not tell that any plants had been removed out of a garden of about 500m2, even though the plants conerned were awaiting loading in a courtyard which parked 4 cars >As we're now back in the > UK I'm not even >sure which ones they are >taking and whether they are >all grouped together for instance >so we'll be left with >a big gap. I can understand your concern. A large group of plants, or even one mature plant could leave a gap which spoils the look of the garden and is expensive to fill. Were you able to take photos of the garden, or can you remember it clearly? If so, you could request a faxed diagram, perhaps, showing where the plants are to be taken from. If the garden, as you saw it then, was one of your favourite things about the house, let the purchaser know this, and also that plants are expensive and time consuming to replace. You must also arrange to view the property on the morning you finally complete the sale. From what I have read on this forum in the past, it's the norm in France to take all manner of items from the house itself, that is, items which are regarded as fixtures in UK. This could come as far more of a shock than a few gaps in your border. Before I purchased, I read very single archived thread on this forum, and others, as well as many books, and was alerted to many potential problems. I hope everthing works out for you and that the sale goes through with no problems.
  21. I've been viewing here for about two and a half year. After living in 17 for a year now (very happily) I was hoping my first post would be either to give advice, or to start or jump into the middle of a great debate. As it turns out, it's a question. Does anyone know anything about grouse farming (raising?). More specifically, what to expect living next door to someone who does this for a living?. Mary-T
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