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Catalpa

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Everything posted by Catalpa

  1. I know there is a lot of help available in France and the GP / MT is the first port of call - diagnosis is the foundation for getting help. But. Unlike things like heart disease or cancer where the sufferer has a clear route to improving their health (even if they choose to carry on drinking or smoking or whatever) with dementia the person has to accept the diagnosis so that treatment and coping methods can be adopted successfully. And there, this condition conspires against them. Too often, out of decreasing ability to reason things through or plain fear and embarrassment, the person refuses to accept there is a problem (there's nothing actually visible or even physically painful) and is therefore reluctant to make changes they need to adapt and help themselves. For eg, daily medication (needs person's cooperation) or to learning and using coping mechanisms such as leaving notes for themselves, using timers to remind them of something, establishing a suitable routine and sticking to it, using lists, etc. All reliant on the person's willingness to accept their situation. edited2add: you could start keeping a diary, Chessie - that would help you chart the problems, the frequency and note any deterioration. That could be helpful for your own sanity but also to inform over time what treatment your MT or specialist might propose. And sorry to hear of your difficulties too, Judith. I hope things improve for you. This getting old(er) is (mostly!) better than the alternative but it certainly isn't always a gentle ride to a maison de retraite, aged 95+ and sound of mind...
  2. I don't know that I'm going to cheer you up but I am going to be giving you A Very Hard Stare (Paddington-style) relating to you comment about not telling your family... you have to make them aware of the difficulties of the situation even if you don't overload them with daily details. For a start, if they don't know how his dementia is developing, finding out all in a rush if something bad happens is going to be far worse than you managing their knowledge as time progresses. If you can, I would probably wait until new year (very early in new year!) and write to them a letter detailing how things are deteriorating. If you carry on trying to absorb all of this you may end up having some form of breakdown and they'd have an enormous amount to understand, grasp and accept without much (any?) warning. Dementia tends to exacerbate the less welcome characteristics of someone's character so if they were very controlling or stubborn in normal life, these traits are 'enhanced' in some forms of dementia at some stages. And, of course, dementia doesn't develop and stop there. It carries on developing and can place an increasing burden on whoever is living alongside the demented especially if, for eg, dementia starts to evolve into paranoia, hallucinations, loss of inhibitions, etc. Not all dementias are the same, nor is the progression. It might even be that as time goes on and he begins to be less aggressive and difficult. You can but hope! What it comes down to is: you matter too. It's not all about the sufferer. And there are drug regimes that can be explored, in the UK there are memory clinics that can help the person find coping mechanisms that help them feel in control for longer - and a sense of loss of control over their lives, their minds, their actions can be sensed by the person though they are no longer able to figure out what to do about it. In the short term, to make life as easy for you as possible, you're going to have to become manipulative and calculating in what you do and how you present things. Find ways to distract if he is focussing on something that concerns you. It may not come naturally to you but scheming to find ways to keep the peace isn't unkind or unreasonable. Your OH not wanting a gas fire isn't - to me - a bad thing. An open flame like that when someone is losing the ability to identify safe or dangerous behaviour isn't adviseable. Imo. As Idun says, vent away. But as your OH is losing control over his life you need to assume control for both of you (even if he doesn't know it) and being honest and clear with your family about the changes you're seeing and having to cope with - and the effect they are having on you - has to be a good way forward. Good luck, Chessie. My father developed 'ordinary' dementia in his late 80s and my mother developed Parkinson's dementia (a horrible form of dementia) in her early 90s - she was in residential care by then. She - and I - was enormously relieved that Dad died before his dementia became too difficult for her to manage at home. Good luck. edited to add: sorry about the novella... I type very fast and dementia for all involved isn't the sort of topic that can be condensed into a couple of paragraphs. [kiss]
  3. It's 5 years since my renewal needed to be done. At that time, old and new passports arrived via Facteur Fred (needing to be signed for) but on separate days. When the first one was delivered, FFred assured me that the other one would be delivered the following day. And indeed it was. He even knew which way round the passports would arrive - new vs old (though I can't remember now). It amused me that he was so well-versed in the operation of the British passport renewal procedure and was able to pre-empt any concerns I might have. [8-|]
  4. Oh don't worry about confusion, etc. I'm just pleased to have it again. Thank you. I've tried to figure out when I last made it with the recipe and it was probably 2014... and I didn't remember the recipe accurately at all when I tried to recreate it a couple of years ago. I shall add mascarpone cheese to my shopping list for tomorrow. [kiss]
  5. May I say how delighted I am to see you back, Idun... for many reasons but most importantly (and selfishly!) because several years ago I misplaced a scrap of paper on which I'd scrawled the recipe for Teamedup's mince pie pastry. So could you spread a little cheer in this Norman(die) household and remind me of it? Thanks in advance. [:D]
  6. [quote user="idun"] From the sound of it, it is different in each region of France. [/quote]Which is normal for France. The regions have always varied in what they have to deal with and therefore the solutions / level of engagement... the enforcement in major city France vs deeply rural is, I'm sure, completely different. In both confinements, I've never been stopped. OH - despite being out and about on weekdays (daily commute in car + trips out on company business during the day) has only been stopped once for an attestation check and that was in March the day after the original confinement was announced. But this is small town / very rural Normandy. Despite the apparently low level of enforcement, Manche has continued to have one of the lowest transmission figures throughout. However, several acquaintances have had trips to Caen and Rennes related to medical appointments pre-ops, etc, and they've been stopped regularly, even twice on one visit.
  7. [:(] My favourite beach is more than 20 kms away... and outside July and August and especially before 10am, at lunchtime, and after 5pm, it is pretty much deserted. Irritated sigh. But my beach walks will come again... probably from mid-December. When I've walked down the shoreline for an hour and listened to the waves and the sand singing quietly as the tide moves in and out, all is right with my world. https://www.vision-environnement.com/livecams/webcam.php?webcam=jullouville I will be very peeved-off if the restrictions have to be reinstated because too many families lose all capacity for restraint in their gatherings over the Christmas and New Year period.
  8. [quote user="mint"]I don't use cream at all for a Victoria sponge.  Just a good thick layer of jam (preferably homemade) is fine by me.  If you do use cream, you'd have to eat up the whole cake the same day?  [/quote]Agree - for the reason you state. Of course, that doesn't mean it has to be a cream-free zone. A good dollop of crème crue nestling alongside the slice works for me. [:D]
  9. [quote user="DraytonBoy"] As a French tax resident you have to account for your 'worldwide' income which would include the profit on the sale of any asset such as land or property...[/quote]I refer you to the point I made originally: [quote]We advised tax office in France about the sum we received and the reason for it...[/quote]We paid the relevant taxes for the specific category in the UK and France did not levy additional taxes. In fact, after advising the French tax office, they said (in writing) that it wasn't something for them (the 'fixed asset' thing) and our tax responsibility lay within the UK tax system. [quote user="DraytonBoy"]...if that wasn't the case why do you have to declare here the income from UK rents?[/quote]I don't know - and as I don't receive rental income from a UK property, it's of no interest to me. The OP asked about sale of UK property and my response was specific from our experience of selling a 'fixed asset'. Of course, that doesn't make my experience particularly helpful for the OP's specific circumstances / original questions. [;-)]
  10. It's sometimes healthy to take a step back from forums... especially in these strange times. There's a (not France related) forum I often frequent but the posting is so persistently negative and snippy of late that I'm better not going there.
  11. We sold some land in the UK about 4 years ago. We advised tax office in France about the sum we received and the reason for it but we were told (and I can't remember or find the correct wording right now) that as the asset sold was 'fixed' in the UK - land, buildings, etc - any taxation would be levied by the UK tax authorities, not France. And that's what happened - the fact we were France-resident was irrelevant. What impact Brexit may have on taxation relating to future sales is way beyond me.
  12. We have more passports from pets that are no longer here than I care to count. I think we have at least 7. No need to return them anywhere. You might want to make sure the vet has removed Best Friend's details from their client list, though. Annual reminders for MOTs and vaccinations are something I can do without. Pets play an enormous part in our daily lives and it's awful when they go but knowing them is still worth the inevitable heartache.
  13. I felt sorry for the spammer... expending so much effort for (I suspect) so little reward. [;-)] Are you the Last Mod Standing, Hoddy?
  14. Chessie, just for future reference, if you have a car difficulty like this : << I'm even more stressed now because OH couldn't work out where the lever was to open the bonnet; handbook doesn't show - or I couldn't see. >> Youtube is often your friend. Search Citroen model number / year or whatever and what you want to do... citroen berlingo how to open bonnet ...and it's likely someone will already have answered your question and uploaded something to help you. For eg: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=citroen+berlingo+how+to+open+bonnet e2a: My turn now: anyone know how I can order weed online? [Www]
  15. The way I read it is these restrictions allow many 'essential' businesses to operate (safely, one hopes) and therefore continue to resurrect the economy but the businesses which encourage socialising and therefore casual spread of the disease are closed or operating in a reduced fashion. I suppose hair salons aren't necessarily a danger to the community (probably depends on what 'ancillary' services are offered [6]) but closing these and similar businesses reduces numbers of people out and about for 'frivolous' purposes.  Moving around for business purposes is allowed (with the appropriate attestation/s) but the 1km for 1 hour per day has been reintroduced for leisure / exercise. Which infuriates me (with superb beaches for walks within easy but not 1 km reach) but okay, greater good and all that. I can see the value in Confinement Ver 2.0 but it's all ultimately pointless (apart from spreading out hospital and ICU admissions for a month or so) if people then behave inconsiderately / recklessly when the restrictions are lifted once more. This being a very rural area, I see the 4 / 5 / 6 cars parked outside houses where I know that only one couple or family live, I see the salle being let and a couple of dozen cars outside, I hear of others' experiences in the 'burbs of Paris holding wedding parties of 60+ people where social norms are those of pre-Covid times with not a mask in sight... In my view, the problem is not governments getting restrictions and advice wrong - it's the undisciplined, self-indulgent, entitled, deluded behaviour of far too many ordinary people when restrictions are lifted. But I expect I've said this before in another thread. [blink]
  16. We receive very little junk mail (pourriel? or is that just for electronic spam mail?) but on the odd occasion we have received something, I either throw it away and forget it or, rarely, I've emailed the company / charity with any identifying details (name, address, any reference number) and told them to remove me from their mailing list. Then I've binned whatever it was. The fact there might be 'goodies' in the pack wouldn't matter to me - the stuff is unsolicited, unwanted so it is thrown away. However, if you are keen to return it, writing something like Non sollicité - retour à l'expéditeur on the envelope should work. Or the post office will throw it away for you. [;-)]
  17. I have enormous sympathy for your predicament, Chessie. You can't let maintenance things slide but if I'm correctly translating Alzy as dementia (of whatever type) you'll be looking for a whole new set of coping / managing ideas over time. My father stopped driving when he and my mother accepted that he was having problems with remembering even short, well-driven (over years) local routes and eventually he gave up his car and licence. Ma had a very good neighbour who'd drive her into the supermarket each week but Pop got more and more irritable about it even declaring he would drive her in... despite having sold the car. It reached the point where Ma would only tell him on the morning of a supermarket run - ie, a few hours in advance - so that he had less time to fret. She developed a lot of these little ways that prevented Pop getting too distressed and prevented her getting too much of an earful. IIrc, she would tell him firmly on the morning of the trip that she was going shopping later and when he objected, she said firmly that she could not possibly cancel Tom (neighbour) as it would mess Tom about and it would be wrong to do that... which Pop would accept. Perhaps a plan like this would help your OH accept the situation, Chessie. It's extremely sad for the person undergoing the changes but it is as bad - possibly worse - for the person who has to watch the changes and manage them. Imo. ps: I have an exceptionally competent OH who can successfully deal with most things. Of course, motivating him to do so is a whole different campaign. [:D]
  18. Indeed. Some people take forms far too seriously. Or did I mean forums..? [:D]
  19. Agreed, Norman. That's the tick box I used when I went to the boulangerie (4 kms away) this morning. And the bit about establishments that are authorised to be open covers post offices - in my way of (lateral) thinking. Re versions of documents:As time passed, I think the previous attestations were... refined... to take account of ambiguous or missed points. I expect it will be the same this time and as long as the document comes from an official, government source, minor variations in wording shouldn't matter. Most people continue to use the version they first download and print - they won't be regularly checking back for updates unless they happen automatically on the digital version.
  20. [quote user="NormanH"]though sometime I have the impression that I am the only person who has downloaded it. [/quote]Doesn't work on my phone - it's a Windows phone and a model fine for my level / type of usage but it does limit what apps will work.
  21. The new versions of the attestations are here: https://www.interieur.gouv.fr/Actualites/L-actu-du-Ministere/Attestations-de-deplacement including the digital version: https://media.interieur.gouv.fr/deplacement-covid-19/
  22. No more than he deserves, I'm sure. [:D] But on a more interesting note (to me) Tancrède, is that a Maine Coon cat in your profile pic?
  23. If people had wanted to avoid further upset they should have behaved like adults after the last lockdown and not re-embraced and continued behaviours that were known to spread the virus. Though that's not an attitude confined to France, of course. If a proportion of the population continues to believe it can behave in a way it perceives it is 'entitled' to do, this lockdown might once again slow the transmission of the disease but as soon as people relax back into social irresponsibility, it will spread again. And yes, as someone who has been mask-wearing (in the right places!) since mid-March and has been carefully managing our risks of exposure through that time (while still managing to go places and see people) I'm really very irritated that we're back to where we were 7 sodding months ago. And breathe. ( In an open air, socially distanced manner... [;-)] )
  24. [quote user="EuroTrash"] All I can come up with is that it is probably a fantastic place to live and work for young professionals. There must be plenty of good jobs and all the business centres and offices I have visited have been modern attractive places, there is a real buzz to it. [/quote]^ This. We're definitely not young professionals. [:D] We don't go to Caen often and when we do, it's either to pick something up from ElectroDépôt or to the Sunday morning market along the port de plaisance. I like that whole area with plenty of cafés, restaurants... nice feel to it. But generally, Caen is a bit soul-less - as are any of the towns in that region which were devastated by the bombing and fighting around D-Day. The rebuilding wasn't the most sympathetic. But people needed places to work and live and speed was more important than careful town planning, I suppose. If I didn't have to count the pennies, I too like the coast along from Cabourg to Honfleur but would probably choose to live west of Caen, on the coast, in or around Port-en-Bessin which - considering its size - is a buzzy little town in and out of the summer season. Because of the fishing industry, even on a winter weekday there's something going on. However, it's at least 30 minutes from Caen. Slightly south of P-en-B-H there's Bayeux which is interesting, characterful and isn't totally dead in winter. Ouistreham and adjacent communes have changed a bit in the past few years because there are a visible number of refugees / asylum seekers hanging around the ferry port day and night in the hope of an opportunity to stowaway. It has changed the feel of that little town - the fish market at the port is always worth a visit though and it's only about 20 minutes from the centre of Caen. If I wanted to be in that area, I'd probably consider Cherbourg over Caen. The coastline is plentiful, varied, and the only place to avoid is Flamanville. And downwind. [6]
  25. I hadn't seen it (so thanks for that, Mint [:)]) I like it - it's clever but a bit too self-aware. It's a bit like a cheap joke? For 2020, it's also missing a few discarded masks floating lily-like on the water.
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