Deby

xxx

Deb, I wouldnt give Ron the text space  - he is just one of those people who like to provoke and hide under the auspices of  'its my opinion' -  we've all met these characters in life, probably doesnt have kids, or if he did have they were in other decade or should I say regime.  You know what I mean - probably washes his car every sunday at a certain hour whilst keeping an eye on everybody elses business and offering his opinions on their lives and virtues which are undoubted wrong - in his opinion of course. Deby  

Just read through this thread and it saddens me greatly.  We lived in both cosmopolitan and rural France and my children went to schools in both environments, the two environments are night and day. The city school was excellent - akin to private schooling in the UK, we did send our daughter to a privee and the teachers were very engaging and always had the best interests of our child, school was strict but a happy place. Rural French schooling was a nightmare - straight out of the 1950's UK, (can only imagine). The teachers, one in particular was awful -  the directrice - she was very happy to wield her power (albeit administrative). In these villages power is all they have and schools are remotely managed from Administrative centres who have no idea of what really goes on and if they are  are accepting.  The locals accept the ways as this is all they know - their attitude is to put up and shut up. We left France because we did not want this for our children, France is lovely and I love her dearly but not at the expense of my children's precious childhood.   I struggled because I knew there was better out there for my children. People still ask me why did I leave France, and I tell them it is not simply about sunny days, petit filous adverts,drinking and eating. My children have choices back in the UK and a very good education (although not perfect) system, it also rains alot and its cold. I strike a balance, but reading through your posts and I know it is not just simple to up sticks and move elsewhere, but I fear that you have walked into an environment that you will not change but will have to ride a rollercoaster to live with.  I wish you the best and my heart goes out to you.   Deby (not in France) :-)  

Better, though too many clicks. I find french websites notoriously long winded and drawn out. Maybe you have to be French to understand them :-)

All of our guests use the Internet whether it for searching out information or just general surfing. We have all nationalities so there are no 'stereotypes.' All ages use it too. It is not for me to decide how long and at what periods. We of course can block various dodgy sites. I would never dream of restricting anyone it is their holiday and I've been received their hard earned cash - gratefully. Guests also run their own business and like to keep in touch. Children of all ages enjoy the internet too.  They are on holiday and it is up to them how they choose to spend it.  How I spend my holidays is up to me and would not appreciate anyone restricting mine.

10 days before our Canadian guests were due to arrive - the bombshell was dropped.  We had been asked several questions during the preceding months by our guests and knew that they had been planning a major trip - their golden wedding anniversary. One of the questions were, Did we know a good local traiteur? We don'treally have one but there is a local chef which we sometimes use and recommended his services.  Their response was Well we didnt really want a chef as we only want something for a Cocktail.  Her closing line was it is only for around and additional 50 friends and family (totalling 67)!! It was just a passing comment in her email. Well as you can imagine we were somewhat stunned.  Our contract does state additional guests are allowed but by prior request.  We responded with the usual details of Insurance, septic tank issues, facilities etc and stating a resounding 'Non'.  Her reply was swift.  She had been planning for months, people were arriving from everywhere, hotels, B&Bs were booked locally etc(no one was planning to overnight at our place) - her email was pleading....   What were we to do? We felt awful, we knew she had been planning this stay for months as she had sent us many a descriptive email - 50 years of marriage is some feat nowadays.  Well we did relent as we do have the space... we put in a few restrictions etc and the event went ahead, it was very lovely, some people hadnt seen family for 40 years.  The fosse survived and our place was cleaned from top to bottom by our guests. It is hard being a Gite owner but you can strike a balance and make a judgement call sometimes. I believe we made the right call this time, but it could have gone wrong but it didnt.  We have further amended our contract for clarity but sometimes 'the unexpected' does happen.  Our guests departed happily and so were we. Deby

Havent looked in here for a while now and just saw this thread.  I noticed the Forum became quite cliquey - some people can feel a little left out or even intimidated.  Quite a few of the threads just would go completey off tangent and resorted to little 'sub' conversations which tend to exclude the majority. I am not criticising but merely making an observaation, plus the forum did lose alot of regular, long-standing posters which were sometimes controversial. I think these people were the foundation of the forum hence the only way to go since has been down.  A real shame. Deby

We've had such a mixture of guests it is hard to generalise.  The worst guests we've had would in my opinion would have been a nightmare for anyone - you must all have come across them - they think that you are there 'to serve' them and thus treated as if you are something that was on the bottom of a shoe!  I am quite surprised that the Ozzies would mention litigation - I've never met an Australian yet that would go down that route - but the world is changing :-( I found our French guests are always fantastic, Americans make me nervous but so far they've always been fantastic! The northern europeans are fine too, we;ve had ozzies and kiwis and they are usually so relaxed, the ones that are unpredictable are the Brits (in my exp, erience) you never can tell, simply depends on expectations and that just doesnt mean our place, it could be the weather, the region or simply their journey to France. I've been blamed for lost luggage believe it or not!  My brother lives in New Zealand and is a hotel manager - he dreads the Brits, cringes in fact! He says, the phrase 'whinging poms' is well earned. Again just opinions based on experience. I think the OP is right not gullible, deducting money would have been the best business case to do so, but i'd not have felt comfortable by compounding their guests sad view. The OP's glass is half full, I daresay their guests is half empty.  

Gosh! Have I been a member since 2004. Oh my goodness. So how have I got the description of Miki incorrect? Deby

Just caught up with the thread and I am saddened the way it deteriorated towards the end.  Quillan I thank you heartfelt response, it was good to hear your opinion with your mod hat off! It provided an explanation long overdue. Not at all sure what happened after that with regards to Dick Smith - what has gone wrong? Dick used to provide such good input and another viewpoint.  What made it all become personal? A shame.  The Forum has lost a bit of its lustre.  I miss those like Miki, Teamed up, Tresco, Saligo |Bay and many others, even that person that masqueraded as a few other characters.  I think people will ultimately be afraid to post just in case they get shot down.  I know I can be a bit blunt sometimes and I do not want to pee on someones bonfire, but is only my opinion after all. Someone else has another and for example are happily raising a family in france and love the education system here. It is well documented that I struggled with this. I posted because I wanted to hear other opinions.  Lets see some more differing opinions and common sense prevail. We now live in the world of tolerance as well as the politically correct. Deby

Archant is there to make money out of painting France as a rosy haven - a paradise land which Brits should aspire to moving to. It is in their interest to ensure that 'negative' or critical postings are removed.  I think that as long as you view the forum in that context you will be fine. Yep! Correct.  That is why I wanted this debate.  Of course that is true.  LF want to paint a lovely view of perfect life in France.  It's just that as a member of the public I happen to care that someone might throw a bit of caution to the wind, sell up their house, move their kids to a foreign country all in the name of selling magazines. Maybe I shouldnt care but as it is an open Forum I have my moment to say what I think or raise some important questions. Deby

Just thought I would add - my thread seems to have been hi-jacked.  I didnt see the joke thing which is being referred to here.The subject to which I am referring to is what I have noticed across all subjects. An example would be the LHD thread - someone asked whether a  company was worth dealing with.  This was responded with a reminder of be aware of naming and shaming.  My point is by saying someone is not reputable is or not recommended is certainly not naming and shaming. I would also welcome what other posters think, not just Moderator bias. Clarification on this point would be helpful by the Moderators once they have listened to other posters opinions. Deby

This Forum is losing its way.  We can only say good things about companies/people but we cannot  say not so good things!!! Oh please be sensible, by saying someone is not good or not recommended is not naming and shaming. The Forum needs to have a balanced view. Otherwise everything is Disneyland and not real life.  People get shot down for offering this here. The Forum should offer balanced opinions. What do others think? Deby

Oh there is a contradiction - we can only say good things about companies, but we cannot  say not so good things!!! Oh please be sensible, by saying someone is not good or not recommended is not naming and shaming. The forum needs to have a balanced view. Otherwise everything is Disneyland and not real life.  People get shot down for offering this here. The Forum should offer balanced opinions.

Fi sent you a pm.

In the Uk we have large mortgage (over £1,000 a month). by selling up and moving to France we will mortgage free with our equity so wont need that extra £1k a month. Sara, I've not read through all the comments given here, but had a quick look at yours.  Please do not fall into the trap by trying to resolve your UK problems a move to France is the solution.  It might temporarily solve the UK ones, but you will uncover a whole set of new ones here in France.  Where is your love of everything French it does not appear to be mentioned. The language constraints, cultural differences, all these appreciations are questions that need to be asked to.  I have friends in France who have made their lives successful, but it has been very difficult, one in particular husband has to work 5 weeks on/off - their marriage is suffering. Others still have other problems too personal to mention here.  All those things you are saying that you are unhappy with in the UK can be addressed in the UK - why not downsize? Re-locate to a less expensive area? A move to France may appear to be a short term fix, but that is what it can be. I only say these things because i've seen far too many families or other folk try and do what you are doing only to discover that life in France has its own set of problems.  What will your 17 year old do for a job.  I sat on the plane 4 days ago next to a young french girl who now lives in London, she tried in vain for a year to get a job and found nothing. She moved to London and got  a jobwithin a week. 3 years later she is a manager in the creche she works in.  She says she was surprised at how many opportunities there are in the UK where there is a limited amount in France. Her brother now lives in London too.  I asked 'will you move back' - 'yes probably ' she replied 'but when I want to retire!' The other thing she volunteered was that she plans to do some further education in  a couple of years  - something she could not do in France - she really appreciated this opportunity. You would be wise to rent first and keep your options open.  I am trying to give you a balanced view here and not be negative but realistic.  Deby

My goodness Cathy what an awful experience, but i guess you must be one of those people in life that sees the glass half full! Its a good way to be.  I think placements are a great idea, but they need to be well organised  and it does depend on the nature and resilience of the person that participates.  Deby

You're right Deby, her daughter's murder is not enough and she deserves to be punished Lets all do what we please! The victim is Scarlett and not the mother. yes she will be grieving as she has lost a child, but she should have been acting in her best interest and she did not.  This girl was left in a vulnerable situation and she unfortunately paid the price with her life. Her mother should not have left her so vulnerable. As said in another post, parameters need to be set.  You should not just leave your kids to their own devices, if this girl had problems with drugs and alcohol - more reason to not leave her. Out of sight out of mind. This girl needed guidance and certainly not to be left alone.  The mother did not look after her daughter. Deby

I am amazed by the mother of 15 year old Scarlett Keeling who decided to leave her in the 'care' of a 25 year old local person whom she'd only recently met, whilst she took her other kids travelling around India.  This mother believes she was not irresponsible but just 'niave'  - amounts to the same thing to me.  Her 15 year old was raped and then murdered which is a terrible thing. The fact that it was in India doesnt really make any difference as to where she was, even if she was wandering around England, France or Thailand, this mother should not have left her daughter to someone she barely knew.  She should be held to account.  Her daughter is still a minor and this mother had a duty to care for her welfare.  I hope Social Services will question this woman and consider the welfare of her other children and bring this selfish lady to account. Deby

Creativity encourages people to think outside of the box and to question the way things are done, and that's exactly the opposite of what they wanted.  It's really quite genius if you think about it, especially since it also allowed them to create a future army of fonctionnaires who would do whatever their superiors told them, without ever questioning it.  :-) This is absolutely true!  The sad thing is the ideal was over 40 years ago - at least two generations, so there is a need now to raise the bar and do things differently.  It does make me happy to hear of the positive things about raising children in France, but there are huge disparities and generally based on good luck for location or a chance that you may stumble on a good teacher!  We left France because we were thoroghly disheartened by the education system in our village, we looked around locally and the other schools were not much better.  There are good rural french schools but they are in the minority I'm afraid. Deby

It is pleasent to hear of your positive experiences and that your daughter has had help. You have also the benefit of having access to facilities.  Your location is the key thing, there are wide variations is France and the OP would need to check out what is available in her area. Remember school closes end of June, so I would recommend a visit well before the term finishes and takes time to visit the school and her local area to see what is available, the you can be assured. Deby

Gosh I'd be outraged, you certainly should sue your lawyer. Methinks skulduggery too, but then I am cynical.  Maybe you could go to the papers? A story to tell, but you might end up shooting yourself in the foot with the Maire,  I would be tempted but now I am slightly more wise. At the end of the day you should have a few glasses (bottles maybe!) and then live with it.  Life is simply too short.  Are you happy, healthy and now probably alot more wise?  These things are more important in life. Deby

Thank you JR and De Walt -  I pm'd De Walt as I felt it needed a more personal reponse. Have to say De Walt website is fascinating. Deby

What is it about the Kauri wood?  We bought a lovely coffee table in this beautiful wood and shipped it back to France when we were living there.  It was a present to ourselves.  I remember it didnt cost alot to post it about a £100 quid which I thought was fab as it was coming all the way from NZ.  We didnt pay any import duties I dont think.  I know it was petrified wood and we bought it from a bona-fide place. We havent purchased anything illegal have we? Deby

Massimo,  So how is it all going out there?  Are you missing La France, how is your business - still making fantastic pizzas and Limencello? How is Cape Town different to France.  Hope all is going well there for you. (spoke to my Bro yesterday - who lives in the south island of NZ - he's having fantastic weather too)! Deby